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When Charlie pulled me aside earlier in the day and confronted me about Alex and his resemblance to his father, I never got the chance to tell her why I had kept everything a secret. With the coyote looming in the tree line, safety took precedence over her desire to know the truth. After everything that had happened, I held on to the hope that she had forgotten. But, nope. She was like a dog with a bone.
When Patrick left, all eyes were on me. Savannah smiled at me as if she was in on a secret while everyone else, except Patrick’s parents, looked confused about his abrupt departure.
“What did I miss?” Jessie asked. “So, she didn’t marry the guy. What’s the big deal?”
Jerry, ever the astute one, says, “I take it the two of you had a past. I wonder why we weren’t briefed on that not-so-little detail.”
Savannah barks out a laugh, “That’s putting it mildly.”
Jessie lightly punches Savannah’s shoulder, “You knew about them and didn’t say anything?”
Savannah rubs her arm. “Ow. That’s uncalled for. He told me about her on our way back from Windham Mountain.”
Savannah has known our history all this time?
“Now that Patrick knows that you aren’t married to Kiernan, can I finally tell him that he’s my dad? Pleeeease?” With that, every mouth drops open except for Patrick’s parents.
“Now that I didn’t know!” Savannah exclaims, still chipper.
I bury my face in my hands, the food all but forgotten. I feel a warm, motherly embrace and look up to see Charlie behind me. “Why don’t we go get some fresh air?” I nod, needing the escape.
Savannah grins at me and says, “We’ll keep an eye on Alex for you.”
I don’t know what to say, so Charlie responds, “Thank you, Savannah. That would be great.”
She leads me outside, where the temperatures are just above freezing. She grabs two coats before we leave the mudroom and hands me one. I slip it on, already feeling warmer. There’s a small swing on the porch, and she gestures for me to sit, taking the seat beside me once I’ve gotten myself situated.
“I apologize for verbally sucker-punching you,” she says.
“I can’t fault you. You did give me the option not to respond. But honestly, I’ve been tired of keeping the secret. I’ve been holding it in for nine and half years,” I tell her.
“That couldn’t have been easy. For you, or for Alex.” She wraps her jacket tighter around her body, but I know it isn’t because of the cold. It’s because she’s holding something in.
“Please go ahead and ask your question. I know you want to.” I give her a wry grin to let her know it’s truly okay with me.
“Once again, you don’t have to answer this if you don’t want to. I promise there will be no judgment.”
I scoff a little. There’s always judgment, even if people don’t mean to do it. I wave my hand in a circular motion, gesturing for her to ask away.
Charlie takes a deep breath. “Why didn’t you come back to Patrick? And why did you fake a marriage to a man you don’t love?”
“You went straight for the jugular,” I tease, but she doesn’t smile.
“My son waited years for you to come back, always praying and holding on to hope even after what he read in the newspapers. I think he just wanted answers, and frankly, so do I. That little boy in there is my grandson, and you kept him away from me and his grandpa as much as you did his father. That’s not fair, but I will give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you had a very good reason for doing so.”
“I did,” I squeak out. I’ve always been a confident woman, facing down adversaries in the political arena, but I feel like a small child getting scolded for stealing a cookie from the cookie jar right now. Charlie isn’t wrong to be upset.
“You did, what? Have a good reason? Because I’d love to hear if you’re willing to share.”
“I should probably explain it to Patrick first,” I hedge.
Surprisingly, she bobs her head in agreement. “You probably should. But he’s not here right now. I am.”
“Knock. Knock. It’s just me,” says Don from the other side of the screen door. “Is there room for one more, or is this a ‘ladies only’ moment?” he asks politely. He may be a tough Navy Seal, but I can feel the warmth and love for his family.
“You may as well join the party if I’m going to be spilling my guts,” I say as lightheartedly as I can manage.
“Oh, goodie. I love a good gossip session!” he jests.
