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“I’d love that.” Patrick looks pleased as punch that Alex made such a request.
“Dear God. Thank You for this food and for Grandma Charlie, who made it. Thank You for my Daddy and that he loves me as much as I love him. Thank You for my Mommy and for her finally spilling the beans even though she was supposed to let me do it. Thank You for my Grandpa Don, who promised to build a snowman with me. And thank you for Jessie, Jerry, and Savannah, who are going to teach me how to shoot a gun. Amen.”
“Amen,” we all chorus, a few of us trying to hide our laughter. When I look at Patrick, he’s smiling so wide that his eyes have become slits.
“You know, we’ve never seen Patrick look this happy or date anyone in all the time we’ve known him. At least we now know why,” Jessie says, shoving a bite of food into her mouth.
Savannah and Jerry both nod. “He’s never even looked at a woman the way he looks at you,” Savannah declares.
“Why do you all insist on talking about me like I’m not in the room? I’m right here!” Patrick says good-naturedly.
I ignore him and direct my question to Savannah. “And you’re okay with that?”
“Okay, with what? With Patrick still being in love with you? Of course, I am. Why wouldn’t I be?” she asks confused.
I glance at Patrick—who’s sitting there calmly and wearing a ten-mile smile—before making eye contact with Savannah. “I’m sorry. I’m a bit befuddled right now. You’re okay with Patrick being in love with me, which he isn’t by…”
“I am,” he interrupts.
I narrow my eyes at him, “Why would you say something like that with your wife sitting right there?” I nearly shout, pointing at Savannah. “Are you two ‘swingers’ and have some kind of open relationship?”
Savannah starts laughing so hard I think she’s going to choke. Tears stream from her eyes as she tries to regain control. Every time she gets close, she erupts into another fit of giggles.
“I don’t see what’s funny about this situation,” I say, holding back tears of my own and not the fun kind.
“I’m sorry. This is almost as great a reveal as last night,” she says, wiping away one last tear from laughter. “Patrick and I have never been, nor will we ever be married. We only play the ‘happy couple’ on TV. What made you think we were together? I certainly wouldn’t have slept in the bunkhouse last night with Jerry and his loud snoring if we were.”
“I didn’t even go to sleep!” Jerry defends, but she waves him off, her point already made.
“But when I ran into Patrick at the ski lodge, you looked so happy together and were wearing wedding bands. Why would I think anything different?”
“They were undercover,” Jessie says bluntly.
I ask Patrick for clarification, “So you’re not married, then?” That would explain why he kissed me last night. I had tossed and turned, having lost so much respect for him when he had done that.
“Yes, I’m married,” he says. “I’ve stayed faithful and true to my wife since the day I said my vows to her on a small island in the Bahamas nine and a half years ago.”
I needed to get some fresh air after breakfast. When Patrick admitted that he had stayed faithful and true to me, I burst into tears while Charlie started shouting, “Halleluiah! And the truth shall set you free!” from the top of her lungs.
Savannah talked about needing to wear a body cam so she could post all these crazy reveals on TikTok and make a killing when the videos go viral.
Jerry grunted and said, “I don’t know if my heart can take any more of this.” He rubbed his chest as if in pain, but I saw the corner of his mouth quirk up. I’ve been warned he’s the grumpy one of the bunch, but I’m 100% sure he’s a closet romantic.
“Jerry, you’re 35, not 50. Just because you have white hair doesn’t mean you’re old,” Jessie retorted.
“Hey! I’m pushing 54, and I’m not old!” Charlie shouted, having fun now that there were no more secrets. That was when Don walked in from his morning chores.
He kissed the top of her head. “You’re not 54, Honey. You’re my sexy ‘Bond’ girl, agent double ‘O’ two-seven!” She snickered and kissed his cheek. “What did I miss with all this hollerin’?” he asks.
“I’ll tell you later, Sugar,” she told him. “There’s still a second breakfast for you in the oven.”
“What do I look like, a Hobbit from the Shire?” he asked, making his way into the kitchen to grab his plate.
Charlie lowered her voice, “It’s probably not a wise decision for me to answer that,” she teased.
“I heard that!” he yelled back.
The entire time, Patrick said nothing, waiting for me to comment while Alex beamed at me, enjoying the banter but not fully comprehending what Patrick had said.
