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I giggle. “I’m in love, but not with who you think.”
Jessie frowns, “It better not be that Swank character!”
“Please, Girl, I have better taste than that! Give me a little credit! No, I had a long talk with Jesus last night. While I still don’t understand some of the things that He has allowed to happen to me or why, I have a sense of peace about it now. I know that all things will be revealed in time.”
Jerry sets his cup down and looks me in the eye, “Explain.”
“Yesterday, at church, the Pastor preached about the sacrifice Jesus made so we could be forgiven and have a relationship with Him. The pain and suffering that He endured was beyond my comprehension and made my pain pale in comparison. It’s not insignificant to Him by any means, but if He can conquer death, He can conquer anything—my problems included.”
Jessie leans forward, “Go on.”
“I realized the pain I carry around is of my own making. I thought I walked away from my terrible childhood when I joined the FBI, but I didn’t. Not really. I’ve been carrying around the baggage, and it’s been weighing me down. Do you know that I had a chance to forgive my mother yesterday, and instead, I chose to walk away? But when I asked God to forgive me, He didn’t walk away. How would I have felt if he turned His back on me the way I did to my mother?”
“Thankfully, you’ll never have to know,” Martha says, leaning against the entrance to the kitchen with a ginormous smile on her face. “Do you mind if I join you?”
I gesture to the open seat, “By all means.” She pours herself a cup of coffee and then sits down.
“Please don’t let my arrival stop you from sharing, Anna. I think it’s wonderful,” she says.
“Martha, what you said the other day about God preparing me was hard for me to stomach. I didn’t want to believe that God would allow so much bad to happen when I tried to be such a good person. But you were right. All of that led me to who I am today. I have wonderful and supportive friends. I love what I do. Countless lives have been spared from some of the worst of humanity, and our team was an integral part of that. We were all brought together to serve a greater purpose.”
Martha gets up and hugs me, then looks at Jessie and Jerry, addressing us all, “I don’t know your stories, but I do know that God will use the bad and turn it into something good. We don’t see the silver lining in the moment, but only when we step back and reflect.”
Jerry remains skeptical, but Jessie is definitely interested in learning more. I get up to pour myself another cup of coffee while Jessie peppers Martha with a bunch of questions. Jerry leaves to go get ready for the day, and by the time he returns, Reggie and Penny have entered the mix.
Penny tugs on Jerry’s shirt to get his undivided attention, “Mr. Jerry, how come your hair is white? You don’t look very old.”
Jerry bends down, “It’s not polite to comment or ask about a person’s physical traits.”
I’m about to scold Jerry for being rude, but Martha puts an arm across my chest to stop me from getting involved. She whispers, “Penny can hold her own.”
“Well, I’m six, so I can get away with it,” Penny says sweetly.
“I’m sure you get away with a lot,” he mutters.
“You’re avoiding the question. You know that it’s okay to say, ‘I don’t know.’”
“I do know. I’m just choosing to keep it to myself,” he retorts.
Penny holds her right elbow and uses her free hand to pinch her chin. “Hmm. I don’t think you do. You seem like the kind of guy who likes to be the smartest person in the room.”
Falling into her trap, he says, “I am the smartest person in the room. But if you must know, my hair is white because of genetics. Believe it or not, I didn’t always have white hair. It used to be black, like Jessie’s. My dad, grandpa, and great-grandpa all had white hair by the time they turned twenty.”
“I thought it might be because of stress. That’s what Google listed as a reason, and since I haven’t seen you smile…” she shrugs.
“I smile!”
“Prove it!” she taunts.
“I don’t have to prove anything to anyone.”
Penny smirks and crosses her arms. “That’s what I thought!”
Jerry lifts the corner of his mouth and bends down to pick up Penny, tossing her over his shoulder. She giggles and pleads for help, but no one comes to her rescue. Jerry might be a grump, but he’s a softy at his core.
Jessie and Jerry stay with Penny while Martha and I make a quick trip to the grocery store. Erring on the side of caution, Jerry outfits me with a necklace that has a recording device.
I hold up my hair as he fastens the clasp. “Be careful, Anna. You never know who you might run into. Roger filed the restraining order against Amy Potslawski last night after the party, but it only states she can’t get within 100 yards of any of the Shaw family. You aren’t included in that.”
