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“Different from what you expected?”
I pull out a chair to one of the small desks, and Ishmael sits at the seat next to mine. “Yeah. Very.”
“Marriage is hard. Especially…”
“Marriage Dad-style?”
We both laugh, and I hope it doesn’t carry into the hallway. I don’t need my father coming in to investigate the commotion.
“Yeah. Exactly.”
“Are you not getting along?” Ishmael looks serious, his analytical mind always working.
“No, we are. That’s maybe the problem.”
“That’s a problem?” He grins at me. “I mean, my marriage was getting back together with the love of my life who jilted me. So we had a rocky reunion before things got better. But getting along too well was not one of our problems.”
“Oof. Thank God it worked out.” I lower my head. “But I don’t know if my story will end as happily. She wanted a baby. I agreed to be the father. I get funding, we’re all happy. But…”
“Hmm?”
“I might be getting too attached. It’s a transaction, and I’m treating it like it’s real. We agreed to a year together, for the funding and for the baby. But after that…?”
He pats my shoulder.
“Things don’t always work out as planned. Sometimes they’re better.”
I widen my eyes. “I mean, when you’re lucky. You at least had been romantic with Liza.”
“Yeah, but she left me without saying a word, and then I had to find her and ask her to marry me right away. That’s not the best start to a relationship. Especially finding out, ‘Surprise! You have a kid.’ I was so pissed that she hid that from me. At least your child will have always had a dad.”
“Yeah, but I might only get the beginning and miss out on the rest. Yours is better in the long run.” I drop my head and look down at the floor. “She was planning to have a child on her own, not with a man. I don’t know how much she wants one.”
“Just remember, Cedrick, all of us went through the same thing. I think you can make the best of any situation. I think all five of us can. I think no matter what happens, you’ll figure out the best thing.”
“But what if I don’t? What if she regrets not just doing it along with the fertility clinic?”
I look up at him, and I see a warmth spreading across his face. “I have never seen you worry so much about a girl not liking you. First, it’s impossible. You’re too charming. Second…”
“Second, what?”
“Is someone catching feelings?”
I hold up my hand in dismissal, but my smile betrays me. “I mean, we were always so close as kids. And now she’s beautiful, and accomplished, and so similar to me. And, really, she’s a lot like Mom.” I pause. “But it’s for the child. And for Dad. Not for me. Not for love.”
“But maybe it could be. Maybe it already is.”
“Oh, come on. You’re crazy.” But there’s no conviction in my words.
“Look,” he says. “It may have started out one way. But you’ve seen us brothers. Things change. And it seems like for you they’re changing now. You’re falling in love.”
My face is sealed tightly, not wanting to betray any emotion. If he can tell, can Ellie?
He continues. “And maybe she’s getting feelings, too. You’ve been through a lot together in a short amount of time. And that’s after having spent so many years being close. It might not be as crazy as you think. I think you need to have a real conversation with her.”
I bring my eyes down, looking at the individual grooves in the floor tiles. “Maybe. But I don’t want her to change her mind. I don’t know what would happen with the funding. Or with the baby.”
“Can I ask you a personal question?” Ishmael puts his finger on his mouth.
