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“I don’t think she’s been hiding it from Savvy as well as she thinks she is,”
“Savvy is no dummy, and I have already ordered food to be delivered later.”
“Thanks, Atlas,”
“You’re welcome. Now let me get back to my wife and guns,” he says, disconnecting the call. I make another call to my hail Mary and pray this crazy ass idea works.
CHAPTER 6
Skai
I don’t know why I said yes, probably because I felt like I owed her an apology. I knowingly kissed her man, and I enjoyed it. I thought about that kiss all night, and with it, I was wracked with guilt. I don’t do cheating or cheaters, and for me to become one does not sit well with me. So, when Natalie called me a couple of days later to meet her for lunch, I reluctantly said yes, so here I am, meeting her to give her an apology. Personally, I don’t really care for the woman, she keeps herself isolated from Jabarri’s family, and to a Gideon, family is everything, but honestly, it’s none of my business. If he likes it, I love it.
I enter the restaurant and give my name to the hostess, following her as she shows me to my seat. Natalie is already seated at the table, and I have to admit she is a beautiful woman, I can see why Jabarri is attracted to her.
“Skai,” she says when I’m close to the table.
“Natalie,” I reply, taking a seat.
“I was a little surprised you actually came.”
“So am I,” I reply. The server comes over and hands me a menu.
“What can I do for you, Natalie? Why did you call me to meet you?”
“Jabarri…”
“I am sorry, Natalie, it wasn’t my intention to cross any lines,”
“Skai, Skai,” she says, breaking into my rambling apology. “It’s okay,”
“Okay? Okay, that I kissed your boyfriend?”
“Yes,” she answers, and my jaw drops to the table. The server comes back over and takes our order before walking off.
“Okay, do you want to explain now, please?” I ask, completely confused.
“Skai, I am gay. It is something I struggled with for years, not wanting to accept it and basically fighting against my nature. When I met Jabarri, I wanted desperately to just want to be with a man. I recognized he was a very attractive man, but I wasn’t attracted to him. I sure as hell was going to try to be or die trying. I did a pretty good job until I couldn’t keep coming up with excuses to keep him at bay. So, one night, I was going to just let it happen,” she says, frowning, her face up like it was the worst-sounding idea ever. “It lasted all of thirty seconds, my panties didn’t even come off before he was calling me out.
That was the night I said the quiet out loud to Jabarri and admitted that I might be a lesbian,” she says with tears threatening to fall. I sat there flabbergasted because out of everything I was expecting, it wasn’t that.
“I envy you so much, Skai, you are able to live your truth out loud. You don’t have to hide who you are or who you want to love. And you have family who love and support you regardless. I wish I was bi-sexual, that would make it so much easier, but if I can’t tolerate physical intimacy with a man as handsome as Jabarri, I don’t stand a chance. My parents consider themselves traditional, they mapped out their kids’ lives before we were even born. They try to control every aspect of our lives. Hell, they bought us both houses right next to theirs with their money. I know now it was just to be able to control us.
If I came out to them, I would be completely cut off, Skai, from everything I have ever known including my brother. The time I have spent with Jabarri has been the most freedom I have ever had. He has shown me how family should be, what I could have, but he has paid a price for his love. His loyalty to me has prevented him from going after the woman he wants to be with, but I hope now that will change.”
“Why, what has changed, Natalie?” I ask, feeling slightly overwhelmed by everything she’s told me.
“I’ve met someone and just the little bit of time I have been with her and talked to her has changed me to my core. I no longer want to live the life my parents carved out for me; I want to be happy since life is too short. And Jabarri has promised to be by my side while I navigate this new future as a friend, he will be all I have once I stop hiding. But having Scottlyn in my life has made me realize what Jabarri has been missing out on all this time. I love him too much to be selfish.”
“He doesn’t have to be the only person, Natalie. Why didn’t you let his family in?”
“I felt it was unfair too for me to build relationships with them under false pretenses. I knew I wasn’t going to be with Jabarri romantically, and I didn’t want to lie to them or get their hopes up about me and Jabarri getting married, and I didn’t want Jabarri to have to lie to them any more than he already was. So, I kept my distance. I didn’t care if we lied to my family. Hell, I have been lying to them my whole life. Trust and believe, though, I wanted to come to the family events. He would tell me about the shenanigans, and they got up to, and most of the time, he’d have some video of it, too, and I would cry laughing and then immediately be sad that I wasn’t there.”
The waiter left our food a long time ago and I picked up my fork and started eating because I am at a loss for words, and I need a moment to process what she just dumped on the table between us. However, soon the food was gone, and I could no longer hide. “So why are you telling me this?”
“I was hoping that under the circumstances, the woman that Jabarri desires to be with and I could be friends. I know I am a coward and weak, but I need his strength, and I can’t imagine being without him.”
“First of all, you are not a coward or weak; we all need to depend on someone sometimes, but I still don’t know why you are telling me this.”
