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Fuck me… this may be a mistake.
CHAPTER 33
PUSH
Reese Grafton
One-hundred-percent satisfied.
Thoroughly content.
Bruised.
My god, that man is good!
Life has taught me to be savage and secret, yet this man saw through that filter. No one has ever seen me as anything but what I allowed them to. He makes me feel like it is OK to be crazy. He tore the costume off the character I was portraying and breathed life into this skeleton of mine. My soul emerged from its coffin.
I turn over, needing a fix from the addiction that is called “Adam.” I sit up and look around the room, realizing that it is empty. The pain creeps into my veins. He’s gone. I thought…
The note sitting perfectly on his pillow catches my eye. I immediately grab it and read his words. My fingertips touch my lips, feeling how they curve sat just the thought of him. How he threatened the man from last night with just his hand as a gun. Matching my level of madness, he brings me to a place I never felt comfortable admitting before. He creates a home for me. My hand drops the note and I cover my chest. A devious game of chase to stimulate my mind.
This can’t be real. This cannot be what my life has turned into. My mind swirls with what-ifs and how cans.
A knock at the door stops my thoughts, and I quickly jump out of bed. Throwing on a robe, I swing the door open to find my brother looking dejected.
“Ah, man!” He shakes his head.
My eyebrows furrow in confusion.
“You saw Adam,” he sternly states.
I smile and nod. Taking a step back to allow him to walk into the room, I am overtaken by sadness forming in the pit of my stomach. He is making his break and is ready to leave. I can feel the “talk” coming even before the words are spoken.
“You are leaving me too?” I say.
He looks up with sad eyes. “What do you mean, too?”
“Never mind.” I shake my head. I can barely manage. “Go on, what is going on?”
“I need space, clarity. I don’t know, something.” He slaps his fist in his hand. “Reese, I love you.”
“But…” I sit on the couch and wait for the rest to slap me in the face.
“I just feel like I cannot breathe when you are around!” he firmly states. “Ending the mission, the job with Greg, worrying about you!” He belts a sarcastic laugh. “Worrying about you… now that is a laugh. You are more of an asshole than I am. Imagine that.”
“Now, hold on!” I hold my hands up in defense. “I had my reasons.”
“I get it! Believe me, I get it. It’s just we’ve had too many secrets from one another and everything coming to the surface has just ripped the scabs off old wounds. Just being around you makes me so angry.”
“Kevin,” I say defensively, but he cuts me off.
“No! Reese, believe me, I understand why you burned the cabin. But why burn it with Adam inside?!”
“The CIA needed to believe that he died. Either he really would’ve died, or it’d burn the cabin enough that it would take months, if not years, to verify if a body was ever in the structure. I didn’t secure his handcuffs tight enough, hoping he could escape. Locked the basement door in case the CIA had any cameras inside the house. Played my part and prayed that he emerged from the fire.”
He nods while still looking at me. Tears prick at the corner of his eyes. I move closer to him and take his hands in mine. My thumbs rub over the top of his hands, hoping to soothe this dull ache in my chest… and his. He finally succumbs to his emotions and lets out a painful sob.
My arms wrap around him, wanting to take the pain away.
