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“Reese, it hurts so bad!” His cracked voice tears me apart. “I spent all my life taking care of you. I don’t even know who you are anymore… I don’t even know who I am!”
I grip his shoulders tighter. My big brother is completely distraught, and in the end, it was my actions that contributed to his emotional demise.
“It’s okay,” I assure him.
He leans back and I wipe his tears away as best I can.
“Where are you going?” I whisper.
“I’m taking the first flight out. No thoughts of were to, just going to show up and take the next flight set to leave. Wherever that is, I’ll be on it.” He offers me that much. Leaving this chance up to fate. Starting over where there are no expectations or where anyone knows his past.
“Promise me you’ll find someone to talk to about your issues. Please. Do that much for me.” I wipe my tears away.
“I can try.” He nods. He stares into my eyes as my heart breaks.
He must see how much I worry. I nod and accept that answer, knowing full well he is only saying it for my benefit.
“No way to convince you to stay with me? At least for a little while longer?” I all but beg.
“I can’t. Tried. I tried that much already, Reese. I just can’t look at you the same.”
I stand with him, still holding his arms.
“I am so sorry,” I say. “Do you hate me?”
I can’t even look at my brother since I know I have disappointed him. What a messed-up situation… the whole thing.
“No,” he firmly states. “I don’t hate you. I am still pissed about what happened and how it happened. We were lucky that Adam survived.”
“Fair enough. Will you call me when you get sorted?” Sorted —the word we used when I was in school to make sure we were both okay in every sense.
“I will call you when I get sorted. Don’t find me or call me beforehand. Let me do this on my own.”
I offer a weak smile and nod.
“I love you,” I say.
“I love you too.”
He kisses my forehead and walks out of the room. I stand motionless and stunned. Alone—fully alone for the first time in my life.
I look around and absorb the quiet that is before me. I want to scream, cry, throw shit, do nothing, run to the nearest bar and drink until I black out. Nothing sounds remotely plausible for me to achieve as the two most important people in my life walk away from me. One, leaving for healing and the other, playing a game of chase.
The hotel phone rings and I hesitate to answer. Steadying myself, I lift the receiver, completely unaware of how unprepared I am for who is on the line.
“Reese.” The deep male voice on the other end has me shaking. “You missed the check-in with your handler.”
“Something came up,” I respond.
“Train station. Three o’clock.”
The line disconnects, and I sit still, holding the phone. My eyes blink away the tears, letting out a shaky breath, realizing that this job is for life. I finally hang the receiver back on the phone and clutch at my robe. Feeling so exposed at my expense. It’s like standing in the center of the ring of the circus with no escape. The ringmaster calls for me and I must answer.
I gulp and slowly get ready to leave. Taking a quick shower and getting dressed, I collect my things. I phone the front desk and let them know I am checking out early. I take one last good look at the ocean view and head out, keeping my key card in my pocket. Most people don’t realize that the key card to your room stores your personal information. If the card isn’t electronically cleared properly, then the flimsy key keeps your information and anyone could have access. Plus, it’s flimsy enough to use while breaking into houses. People forget to use dead bolts, and that only adds to my advantage.
I walk past reception and wave to the front desk clerk, heading to the train station. Walking in, I am greeted by my handler—Louis. He grabs my hand to guide me into what the public can see as a lover’s embrace. His lips tenderly touch my cheek, and I try to not cringe.
“It’s been a while,” he whispers against my skin.
