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“Yeah. She had some kind of emergency. I guess that’s why she forgot her phone. I’ll make sure to give it back to her later.”
“Shouldn’t you give it back now?”
“It can wait,” I say. “Right now, you need a drink.”
And I can’t bear to be in this apartment a second longer. Plus Claire probably needs to get going, too. Maybe that was Natalie calling her, telling her to hurry.
I grab my coat, my phone, my wallet and my keys. Joel stays on the couch.
“You sure you’re not busy?” he asks.
“Nope.” I slip on my shoes.
“And you can leave? That woman won’t come back here looking for her phone?”
“I don’t think so. And even if she does, you and I are still going for drinks. And you’re going to tell me all about this first fight and we’re going to figure out how to resolve it.”
Joel nods. Finally, he gets off the couch. He puts a hand on my shoulder.
“Thanks, bro.”
I pat his back and usher him out the door. “Let’s go.”
~
As soon as Joel and I get inside my car, I consider sending Claire a message like she asked, but I decide it’s too risky. I’ll just have to hope she realizes we’re gone and leaves herself.
I drive. The further we get from my apartment building, the calmer I get. Yes, I’m still feeling guilty because Joel is in the car with me and I can’t scrub the image of Claire in red lingerie out of my head entirely—I still can’t believe she wore that—but at least, there’s no longer any immediate danger of Joel finding out about me and Claire. I don’t want him to find out. I’d rather be the one to tell him myself.
And I will. I was planning on doing it the next time we talked, but clearly, now isn’t a good time. Tonight, it’s about Joel and Natalie.
I listen to him spill all the details about his fight with Natalie over steak and chips and glasses of bourbon at our favorite pub. Beer isn’t going to cut it this time. When he’s done, I pat his shoulder.
“It’s going to be fine, bro,” I tell him. “You think it’s worse than it is because it’s your first fight, but it’s probably not that bad.”
Joel narrows his eyes at me. “You think I’m overreacting?”
“I didn’t say that. I’m just saying the first is always the hardest.”
“Are you saying there are more fights to come?”
I shrug. “I’m sorry to say this, bro, but yes. You and Natalie will have many more fights to come. That’s what couples do. They fight sometimes. It’s normal. It’s part of the process of working things out and figuring out how to stay together. I’m actually surprised you and Natalie haven’t had a fight until now.”
Joel’s eyebrows furrow. “But I thought you said you can’t imagine us fighting.”
Right. I did say that.
“What I mean is I can’t imagine the two of you not getting over a fight. You’re an amazing couple. You love each other.”
Joel shakes his head. “I’m not sure if she still loves me. Maybe she doesn’t want to marry me anymore.”
“Bullshit. Natalie’s not like that.”
“But I made her cry, Ryker. I’ve never made her cry before.”
“She cried because she loves you,” I tell him. “And you know what? I bet right now, she’s waiting for you to come back.”
Joel looks at me. “You think so?”
I take a sip of bourbon. “I know so.”
I’m sure Claire has managed to calm Natalie down by now and talk her into giving Joel another chance. She convinced my building supervisor to let her inside my apartment. She can convince anyone of anything.
“Thanks, bro.” Joel places a hand on my shoulder. “I knew I was right to come to you, not that I really have anyone else to go to. You’ve always been there for me, bro. And I appreciate it. Really, I do.”
And I can see it in his eyes as he gives my shoulder a squeeze. I can see the appreciation, the trust, the care, the brotherhood that we share.
“You really are the best man I know. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
I don’t answer because I suddenly have a lump in my throat, because I suddenly realize something I’ve failed to see until now.
If I tell Joel about me and Claire, I won’t just lose my best friend. He will lose his, too. And he doesn’t deserve that. He doesn’t have any brothers. I’m the closest thing he has to one.
I’m his brother. I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to throw away this bond that we share, that we’ve built over the years. I don’t want him to be alone when he’s always been there for me. I don’t think I can forgive myself for that.
Joel is my brother and I am his. I can’t abandon him.
