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“Hey.” Joel pats my shoulder. “You’re not going to cry, too, are you? I don’t think I can stand making another person cry today.”
I punch his side lightly. “I’m not going to cry, bro.”
He chuckles but then turns serious. “You know what? It just occurred to me that you and I have never fought either. That’s… kind of cool, right?”
“It is,” I agree.
What we have is cool. And rare. I was a fool to even think of ruining it.
Joel nods. “I’m really grateful you’re here. I told you that, right?”
“Yes, because when you’re drunk, you say everything about ten times.”
He frowns. “I do not.”
I drop the argument and take another sip of bourbon.
“I mean it, though,” Joel says. “I’m glad you’re here. Even if Natalie calls off the wedding, at least you’re here.”
“I’m not going to marry you, though.”
He laughs. So do I. After we calm down, I look into his eyes.
“Trust me,” I tell him in a serious tone. “Natalie isn’t going to call off the wedding.”Chapter ThirteenClaire
“I’m not going to call off the wedding,” Natalie tells me as she hugs a pillow to her chest on the couch.
She still looks upset, but at least her tears have dried.
“It never even crossed my mind. I just want Joel to help me out a little, to have an opinion every now and then instead of leaving all the decisions to me simply because I know better and he loves me.”
“And did you tell him that?” I ask her before taking a sip from my cup of coffee.
“Yes. But he didn’t seem to understand me. He said he thought I left my job so I could work on the wedding, because I wanted to work on the wedding. He didn’t ask me to do it. Then he said I didn’t have to make any decisions, that I could just let the wedding planner do everything. But that’s not right, is it?”
I nod. “Basically, Joel doesn’t want to make any decisions.”
“I’m not asking him to make any decisions. I’m asking him to have an opinion, to care. I told him I just wanted him to care more about the wedding and then he started accusing me of thinking he wasn’t good enough, saying that maybe I should just find someone else to marry.”
“That’s because he’s afraid he’s not good enough for you,” I tell Natalie.
She gives me a puzzled look. “Why would he think that?”
“Because he’s been overlooked by women before? You know, my brother didn’t go on dates, mainly because he was busy studying and taking care of me. Girls didn’t throw themselves at him. He doesn’t see himself as the catch that you see him to be. And here you are. You’re beautiful. You’re smart. You’re kind. You love him. For him, you’re too good to be true.”
“But I’m only human,” Natalie says. “I don’t want Joel to worship me. I want him to love me and be by my side and tell me what’s on his mind.”
“And you told him that?”
She pauses. “Not tonight, no. But I thought he knew.”
I shake my head. “When Joel comes back, tell him that. Relationships aren’t guessing games. You can’t assume the other person just knows things. And you can’t just make your own assumptions about what the other person thinks or feels. You’re not mind readers. You’re partners. You should tell each other things.”
Natalie nods. Then she gives me a worried look. “But what if Joel doesn’t come back? His phone is still off.”
“He probably just wanted space so he could think,” I tell her. “He’ll come back.”
Even if it means I have to drag him back here myself. It’s bad enough he left without talking things through with Natalie. Then again, it’s also a good thing he left instead of ending up saying things he didn’t mean, and hopefully he’ll have calmed down and gained some perspective when he comes back. Whatever the case, he’d better come back.
“You think so?” Natalie asks me. “You think he’s okay?”
“I think so.”
I know so. I know he’s with Ryker right now, even though Ryker didn’t send me a message to let me know so. They’re probably at some bar drinking and talking.
I hope they’re not talking about me. Surely Ryker isn’t going to tell Joel about us when Joel is going through something bad? He knows better than that.
But what if Joel figured it out? I mean, my phone did ring when I was hiding in the closet. What if Ryker had no choice but to tell Joel the truth and he’s already ended up in the hospital?
The sudden worry sends me reaching for my phone. No message from Ryker. Should I call him? But what if I’m wrong? What if he’s just drinking with Joel and Joel still doesn’t know about us?
I decide to just send him a message.
