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I guess I have some proving myself to do.
Suddenly, I hear a knock on the door.
I lift my head. “Yes?”
I expected Miller, but to my surprise, Asher comes back in. He grins.
“I knocked this time.”
Fine. “What do you want?”
“The reason I came to your office was because I wanted to tell you that last year, you donated roughly 90 million dollars to charity.”
My eyebrows arch. “Really?”
“Well, not you. The company. But you’re the one who went to all those fundraisers, so I thought you should know just in case you haven’t been keeping track.”
I nod. “Thanks.”
That makes me feel a little better, knowing that I’ve been helping make the world a better place. Well, it’s not me, exactly. Like Asher said, it’s the company’s money. But I did pick some of those charities myself, and I made the effort to go to them to make the donation.
I smile. Yup. It feels nice.
“You could have donated more, though,” Asher tells me. “You could have donated up to 150 million.”
My smile vanishes. I could have spent 60 million dollars more to help other people? Why didn’t I?
I know it’s not my fault. It’s not my job to seek out charities or screen them. I’m the VP of Acquisitions, not the Director of Philanthropy. I only went to those fundraisers because Ethan thinks it’s better if a Hawthorne does the donating and I happen to be the Hawthorne who likes giving away money the most. Still, I can’t help but feel guilty.
Why is it that guilt seems to be hounding me lately?
“Anyway, that’s all I came to say,” Asher says before disappearing out the door.
Again, I sigh. Asher sure has left me a lot to think about.
And I can’t stop thinking about any of it—not about the donations, even though that’s not my problem, or about Claire. Her words resound in my head.
You’re a coward. You’re a disappointment.
Then there’s Asher’s words.
No, you’re not. You’re a Hawthorne. Go and prove it.
I tap my fingers on my desk as I rack my brains for a way to do that. Then suddenly, an idea hits me, one that puts a huge smile on my face and sends my chest buzzing.
I think I know what I have to do, what I want to do.
And I want Claire to be the first to know.
~
“What are you doing here?” Claire folds her arms under her breasts and sticks out her chin as she stands in the doorway of her apartment.
She’s not happy to see me. Of course she isn’t. After all, the last time we spoke, I dumped her. I hurt her, which is why I have to apologize and make amends.
I’m determined to.
“Can I come in?”
Claire’s eyebrows furrow. “Why? Why should I let you in after you threw me away like trash?”
“Because you’re not trash,” I tell her. “And I never should have treated you as such. I’m sorry.”
“So you think that if you say sorry, I’ll forgive you? Do you think I’m that easy?”
“I don’t think you’re easy. I think you’re amazing, so you deserve someone amazing.”
“And that’s you?” She taps her fingers on her elbow. “What makes you think I don’t deserve someone better than you?”
“There’s no one better than me.”
Claire’s eyebrows arch. “Really?”
“No one knows you better than me.”
“Is that so? Tell me one thing you know about me that no one else knows.”
“I know you once used food coloring to paint your nails,” I blurt out the first thing that comes to my mind.
Claire snorts. “I was six then. Tell me something you know about the current me.”
I pause, then lower my voice. “You like hot in red lingerie.”
Her eyebrows furrow. “Do I?”
I whisper in her ear. “And you like it when I thrust deep inside you.”
Claire’s eyes widen. Her cheeks grow red. Then she steps back and shakes her head.
“You think I’ll forgive you if you talk dirty?”
She tries to close the door in my face, but I stop her.
“No one wants you more than I do, Claire.”
“I think I’ve heard that before,” she says. “Besides, I think you want my brother more than you want me.”
“Not true. I don’t want to lose my best friend, but I want you more.”
“Really?” Claire doesn’t look convinced. “And you’re ready to tell Joel that?”
I nod. “I will tell him about us after the wedding. I promise.”
“After the wedding?”
“I thought we agreed that Joel and Natalie deserve a perfect wedding,” I explain. “And for that to happen, Joel needs his best man and his sister.”
Claire falls silent.
“Joel can hate me all he wants after his wedding. He can get rid of his best friend if he wants, but he deserves a best man. I’m not going to take that away from him, Claire.”
Still, she says nothing.
I draw a breath. “If you don’t want to be with me until after the wedding, until after I tell Joel, I understand, but I want you to know that I do want to be with you.”
