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Official Shepherd Oliver: I told your mom my dad wouldn’t let me work Saturday mornings because I needed to train and I needed to switch to Saturday nights instead. I didn’t have to train. You worked with Connor Daniels on Saturday nights, and all he did was stare at your ass whenever you weren’t looking, and I didn’t trust him being alone with you closing up on those nights. And then your wonderful mother changed the schedule, and I was the one staring at your ass whenever you weren’t looking, sooo….
Official Shepherd Oliver: Remember how the National Honor Society would sell single roses every year for Valentine’s Day that you could have delivered to someone during class? And remember how you, Tess, Birdie, and Emily would all send each other roses, and every year you got one from a secret admirer, and you would all sit around blaming each other, because you thought it was a joke? It was me. Now I’m realizing I should have just signed my fucking name.
Official Shepherd Oliver: You know what my first thought was when I signed that contract the night of the draft? It wasn’t about how much money I’d make, it wasn’t about how cool it all was, and it wasn’t about what it would be like the first time I heard the roar of the crowd when I stepped out onto the Hawks’ field. It was that I’d be moving away from you and I didn’t know when I’d ever see you smile again, or hear you laugh again, and that I’d just wasted a whole bunch of years never telling you how I felt, and now it was too late.
Official Shepherd Oliver: When I saw you replied to my ridiculous messages two years ago, my hands were so sweaty I dropped my phone and cracked the screen.
Official Shepherd Oliver: Every time you replied back to me, I felt like the luckiest goddamn man on the planet. You were always nicer than me, kinder than me, sweeter than me, and better than me. I never deserved even one minute of your time, but you still gave it to me. And I wasted it by not tell you that you were NEVER second choice. You’re not a consolation prize and you’re sure as hell not a goddamn rebound. You’re THE prize, Wren. You’re the only reason I’ve tried to be nicer, kinder, sweeter, and better, so that some day when I pulled my head out of my ass, I would be worthy of the time you give to me. And you’re the only reason I moved back home to Summersweet Island, so if you can’t find it in your heart to forgive me, I don’t know if I can stay here. Because I know damn well, especially after the things you told me, that I can’t walk around this island and just be civilized when I see you. I will never be able to be around you again without wanting to kiss the hell out of you.
Official Shepherd Oliver: Please talk to me, Wren. Please. Give me a chance to show you everything I never told you.“Fuck!”
My frustrated shout is punctuated by the sound of my cell phone smacking into the stone tile on the floor of my kitchen when I whip it across the room as hard as I’d throw a ball to make a play at 2nd. It tumbles and skitters across the floor until it comes to a stop by one of my kitchen chairs as I let my head fall to the back cushions of my couch and stare up at the ceiling.
It was a stupid idea to send Wren all those messages. I should have run after her the other night, made her stop, and made her understand. To say I was in shock after everything she told me is an understatement. I honestly don’t even know how I managed to shout what I did to her before she disappeared around the corner of the dugout. Every word she said to me felt like someone took a knife and started carving into my chest. And if I never have to see Wren standing in front of me trying to be so strong while tears poured down her cheeks, tears that I put there, it will be too soon.
I’ve spent the last two days since Wren left me standing by home plate at the high school walking around like a zombie. I didn’t even have the heart to run practices. I scheduled the boys for some extra training in the weight room instead, but I know I can’t keep doing this. Those boys deserve better. I took this job so I could be a good role model for them. Although being a poster boy for what it looks like when you make bad choices in life might scare them all straight.
