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“So much confliction. So much pain.” She pulls me closer, her strength deceiving for her age and hunched stature. Her hand that covered mine now rests over my chest, flat against my skin. “You have a good heart, let it guide you, let it be your strength, not your weakness.”
She lets me go and I stumble back into Nok’s chest and his arms wrap around me. I don’t realize I’m crying until I feel myself choke and feel the sting of tears on my cold cheeks.
The old lady walks away as though nothing just happened. Two women hold her arms to help her along.
Meanwhile I’m choking for air, trying to gather myself as an all-consuming grief blinds me to anything else. I turn in Nok’s arms that are like steel bands around my body and bury my face in his neck. My tears soak his skin, they soak mine too. My mascara is likely now in dark rings around my eyes.
Nokosi lifts me, swinging my legs up with his arm. He walks with me, not speaking, not stopping. He just goes and I’m too weak to breathe or protest. I just hold him, seeking his comfort in a way I’ve never sought comfort from anybody but my sister.
I’m a mess and I should be embarrassed but I can’t get past this overwhelming sorrow I suddenly feel. As though somebody is in my head, screaming their pain so loudly it’s all I know now. I feel as though I’ll never be happy again. I don’t want to feel this way. I need to let it go but I can’t release it. It’s tangled like thorny vines around my spirit. I don’t know why it’s there or how, but it hurts. It feels physically painful.
I hear a door open and shut and stop crying when the noises from outside no longer sound, and the cold air becomes warm.
He doesn’t put me down until we’re through another door and a bright light is shining overhead.
As soon as my feet touch the ground, Nokosi and I look at each other. My chest is still tingling with this lingering mourning I just can’t seem to combat and right now all I can think of is one thing to get my mind off this sudden pain.
I look at myself in the mirror, my eyes are swollen, my lips too, and my cheeks are flushed with pink.
I’ve not looked this human in such a long time. I don’t feel ugly or like I should apologize. In fact, I want to feel more human. I don’t want this to stop.
I turn to face the man who brought me to this place and grab his collar before yanking him to me. His lips collide with mine, and at first, they’re unresponsive, but he soon changes that when I lick the seam of his lips. Greeting my tongue with his own, he cups the back of my head, groaning and holding me tightly as my hand works on the button of his jeans.
I don’t care what I’m here for. I don’t care what I’m supposed to be doing. I want him. I need him.
I need to feel human. I need to feel pleasure and lust, and orgasms. I want to feel it all.
“Harder,” I beg and he bites my lip, making it burn with delicious pain. The kind of pain I want and need.
My hands tug on his jeans and push them over his ass, and it has to be said as I grab it with both hands, it’s the most solid, soft, incredible ass I have ever held. I squeeze as his hot length presses between us and he yanks my denim skirt up my hips enough to pull down my thong and back me into the wall between the sink and toilet. The tiles are cold through my sweater, but it only adds to all the sensations.
He continues kissing me, standing with his feet on either side of mine so his legs are parted and mine are shut tight.
I gasp when he pushes his solid cock between the apex of my thighs. The mushroom head parts my slick lips and rubs against my swollen clit.
My body almost collapses. I almost give up and die right here.
I’ve never felt something so incredibly tingly and arousing.
His lips move to my ear and then my throat. I legitimately can’t breathe. There are too many things to feel. The burning in my womb, in my thighs, in my clit, in my feet, my hands… shit, even my eyes which are squeezed shut.
Nok groans, thrusting against me, fucking me without actually fucking me and I wonder why that is. If he just hitched my leg up his hip and pressed against my opening I wouldn’t object. Hell, I’m salivating at the thought.
Though saying that, this is hitting a different sweet spot just fine and it won’t be long until I’m coming all over his dick. Something I never thought I’d say about any man, especially not about Nokosi Locklear.
