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I was worried he might follow but he’s not an overbearing person. He likes my attention when I want to give it, he doesn’t beg for it in between. I’d like to say I’m the same but if I want his attention and he’s not listening I’ll turn his face towards me or stand in his line of sight until he looks at me.
Just like today, he said he was going to stay at home with his brother for a while, so I showed up and rubbed up against his dick until he took me to bed, and then I woke up from that horrific nightmare.
He didn’t seem to mind. Not in the slightest.
Nokosi: You left your bra here.
Lilith: Your moobs need it.
Nokosi: I do not have moobs.
Lilith: Sure.
Nokosi: Want me to drop it by?
Lilith: Not tonight. You should rest. I’m taking a pill and going to sleep.
Nokosi: I wish you wouldn’t do that.
Lilith: Sleep?
Nokosi: Keep popping your sister’s sleeping meds.
Lilith: Don’t start. Not with that.
Nokosi: I’m just worried about you.
Lilith: I don’t need you to worry. We’re not about that. That’s not us.
Nokosi: Noted.
I’ve annoyed him, I know I have but I can’t deal with him bitching at me for my choices too. Mom gets on at me enough about it but how else can I sleep? Nokosi helps me sleep, he helps me rest… or he did. Until today. Until the nightmares took place in our haven too.
Willow
“What did she do?” I ask Nokosi as he angrily rolls the white paint up and down the garage wall. I work on the edges with a brush, feeling woozy from the smell, but I felt woozy anyway.
He doesn’t answer, so I keep painting for a bit longer, silent and patient.
When he huffs again, I cross my eyes and blow out my cheeks.
“What are you, a middle-aged wife whose husband forgot their anniversary?” I throw my paintbrush into the tray and look at him with a frown. “What’s wrong? What did my sister do?” He glances at me out of the corner of his eyes. “You can talk to me. I’ll take it to the grave… which is coming sooner rather than later.”
His lips twitch with a faint smile and he finally stops his aggressive rolling and drops it on top of my brush. “Do you always joke about your death?”
“Should I always cry about it?”
He scratches his jaw with paint-splattered fingers. “I guess not.”
“So… you want to tell me what my bitch twin did?”
He wets his lips. “She just… it’s hypocritical of me to say.”
“So? Say it anyway.”
“She shuts down whenever we talk about…” He throws his hands up in the air and sits on an upturned bucket. “Anything. Be it in regard to you, her past, her future… and now she’s being off with me. She ignored me all day in school today to talk to this girl that she has never spoken to before.”
I nod to show him I’m listening. “Mackenzie?”
“That’s the one.”
“Is it so bad that she wants to make friends?” I question, smirking at him and his jealousy. “Is it because it takes her away from you?”
“That’s not what it is,” he grumbles but even I know that’s exactly what it is. Maybe we are more alike than I thought.
“What is it you want from my sister, Nok?” I ask, sitting cross-legged on the concrete floor, dancing the tip of my finger in a splatter of paint beside me. My bum is going numb.
He clears his throat. “Excuse me?”
“Do you love her?”
“I hardly know her.”
I grit my teeth and repeat with force, “Do you love her.”
“If I do or don’t… that’s a conversation I’ll have with her when the time is right.”
“But you think she’s special?”
He groans and wipes his face on his T, lifting the hem so I get to see what lies beneath. I love it when he does that. I’m not so much of a monster that I can’t appreciate a handsome male when I see one. “Let’s just drop it.”
“Not a chance.” I bum shuffle closer to him, stopping when I’m within touching distance. “Is she special to you? Or is she just your step on the way to finding the right woman?”
His hazel-ish brown eyes shine in the dim light, flickering as he thinks on it and I’m curious as to what’s going through his mind right now. “I’m only eighteen—”
“So? Age is—”
He raises a hand to cut me off. “I always thought love was a pussy excuse for losing your game in the dating world.” His eyes don’t come to mine, they close for a moment as though daring himself to speak and when they reopen the fiery determination there sends a thrill through my body. “And yet here I am, finding myself terrified that your sister might just suddenly decide she’s bored of me.”
