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He laughs gently and looks away.
“I thought she was a pain in the ass, and I’d take what I could while she let me. But I don’t know… now I feel like if she ever walks away from me I’ll be a shadow of the person I am now. I’m young, I get told this by Anetúte a lot. But not so young that I can’t feel a connection to her and know what it means.” He smiles at me, slightly embarrassed. “And I know without a doubt that I would die for her before I ever let anybody take her from me. And I know that as much as she’ll deny it, she’d die for me too. There are only a handful of people in my life, even less so, that I would trust with my very soul, your sister is one of them. She was made for me, I don’t care how fucked up that sounds. She was made for me and she is mine.”
Fuck…
“So,” he continues, grinning at me now, pink tinging his cinnamon-colored cheeks. “Was Elisi correct in thinking you want to hurt me?”
I stare at him, openmouthed like a fish, eyes brimming with tears. His words affected me more than I’d ever like to admit. My sister is safe. My sister is loved. My sister loves.
This is the moment I’ll remember forever, until my body is no more and my memories are all I have in the abyss.
“Willow?” he urges, looking nervous now.
I wipe away a stray tear that trickles down my cheek. “I don’t want to hurt you, Nokosi.” He looks relieved by that fact. But then I finish, “I want to kiss you.”
Lilith
I hold back my sister’s hair as she vomits into the basin. She’s deteriorating at a rapid pace and Mom is worried. She wants to take her to a hospice to live out her final days, but I just can’t bear it.
“Go,” Willow tells me when she’s stopped puking and is feeling a bit better. “Mom’s got me. Just go.”
“I’m not leaving you.”
“You’ve been planning this beach trip for days. Please just go,” she gives me a strong shove and grins at me. “Please… it would make me happy if you would go.”
“Let me get you comfortable first.”
Mom takes her other arm and we guide her to bed where I set her up with her laptop and phone.
Mom sits by her bedside, not looking at me, unspeaking. She’s not taking this well.
“I should stay.”
“No!” Willow yells and I can tell I’ve annoyed her. “Just go. Be with Nok. You’ve abandoned him enough for me lately.”
I’m surprised she’s suddenly on his side, up until now she has only ever spoken about him with animosity. I wonder what changed. Maybe she’s finally willing to stay?
“Besides, I’ve got shit to figure out. I don’t need you breathing down my neck.”
“What shit?”
The look she gives me has me raising my hands in surrender. “Okay, okay… sorry I asked.” But then I panic and swing back around. “Wait… please don’t tell me you’re going to…”
“No,” she replies, frowning. “Nothing like that. It’s just something I need to know about. Something unrelated.”
Satisfied with her answer, I head out. My sister has never been a liar, not with me. She evades the truth but she doesn’t lie. I trust her that much. That and as selfish as it is, I really want to go to the beach.
It’s cold, I mean, it’s February so of course it is, but they like to build a bonfire with driftwood and some of them surf while the rest of us watch. Though I can see myself surfing if we can rent a wetsuit. I’ve never surfed before and I love a thrill.
He’s outside, leaning against the side of his truck waiting for me, looking at the invisible watch on his wrist.
“Impatient,” I admonish, leaning into him to kiss his lips.
Grinning, he wags his brows, opens the door for me, and smacks my ass as I climb inside.
I love it when he does that.
“If only we had bikini weather.” Nokosi sighs heavily once in his own seat. His eyes linger on my breasts which are hidden behind two layers, my white top that gets floaty at my stomach, and my thick bra that makes my tits look a bit rounder.
“You see me in my underwear all the time,” I point out, helping myself to his soda in the cup holder below the stereo.
He snatches it from me. “It’s not the same as a bikini.”
My head hits the headrest as I laugh. “It’s exactly the same thing.”
“Agree to disagree,” he declares with extra elongation of each word. His hand goes to my thigh. “How’s your sister?”
“Not good today, but I think it’s because of all the sneaking out she’s been doing.” His hand on my thigh squeezes harder for a moment. That’s weird. Is it a reaction to what I’m saying or is it meant to be comforting?
