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“At least,” Henna insisted. “Two months would be best. Six months, if you can manage it,” she muttered hopelessly under her breath.
Cait drifted from the room to go in search of her husband. Six months. She would not survive it. One month, perhaps, but it would be difficult. Anyway, she simply couldn’t wait to have another baby, although Edana and Henna both urged her to rest and give it some time. In fact, Edana had insisted Cait nurse the baby herself to prevent another pregnancy too soon. Henna had nearly fainted at the idea.
“It will tax her! And she is nobly born. It is not meet. We will get a wet nurse from the town.”
“Pish posh!” Edana had dismissed that idea and brought the baby to Cait each time she needed to be fed. Cait loved feeding the baby herself, holding Bonny close as she suckled. Duncan would watch her—jealously, she accused—although he only laughed.
“It is not jealousy, but wonder.”
“Wonder?”
“Wonder that I can share your beautiful breasts with anyone else.”
Cait laughed at his teasing. Duncan was in a constant good humor now, smiling and content after so many months of frowns. And Cait, Cait definitely wanted another baby, the sooner the better. Motherhood suited her even more than she’d thought. Six months. That was far too long to wait, and she was certain Duncan would back her up on that.
Cait emerged from the castle into the sunshine, Mitchum trailing at her heels. She stopped first at the orchard to choose an apple for Duncan. He would understand the invitation, although she doubted he would act upon it. She knew Henna had poured cautions and threats in his ear, insisting he let her recuperate. He would have anyway, even without Henna’s warnings, he was so protective of her. Oh well, she supposed it was endearing.
She headed toward the fields where she knew she would find him training with the other men. As she climbed up over the rise, she saw him walking towards her. And he was not alone.
She froze and nearly ran in the other direction. Bonny. She had to keep her baby safe. She had to hide.
Duncan raised his hand and waved, urging her to come and meet him and the man walking beside him. Her father. The king. Duncan waved her forward again impatiently. Panic warred with ingrained obedience, but finally, she forced her feet to move. She approached as closely as she could manage in her terror and dropped a short curtsy.
“Your Highness.”
“Dear Caitlyn, there needn’t be such formalities between us. Come and give your father a hug.”
Cait stood where she was, gaping at the man as if he’d grown a second head.
“Duncan, perhaps Cait and I might walk a while and talk in private?”
She was already shaking her head, but Duncan nodded.
“Of course. You needn’t ask permission of me to talk to your daughter.”
Cait ran to Duncan’s side and pulled on him. “Please don’t leave me. Please!” she whispered.
He leaned down to look at her. “Cait, what is this fear? I promise you, he means you no harm.”
“He does. He wants to kill me. He wishes me dead.”
“He does not. Go to your father. He has come to see you and his new granddaughter.”
Her eyes widened in alarm. “No, he cannot see her! He cannot take her away!”
“Cait, do you think I’d let any such thing happen?” He tilted her face up to his. “Go to the king. Do not keep him waiting. You’re his daughter. You must not show him disrespect.”
“Don’t leave me alone with him, Duncan,” she pleaded.
“I won’t. I’ll wait right here with Mitchum. Now do as you’re told. Do not embarrass me with this childish behavior. You may not be well enough yet to lie down with me, but I think I could give you a spanking if it were warranted, my love.”
Cait turned reluctantly and walked back towards the king. He looked out of place away from his royal court and surroundings. Or perhaps the strange thing was that he did not look out of place at all. He was dressed in plain clothing, and he was alone, not surrounded by courtiers and advisors. In fact he looked a lot like Duncan and his men when they went about their everyday tasks.
“Caitlyn.” He smiled warmly as she sidled up to him. “Come, walk a while with me.”
She stole a look back at Duncan.
“I promise you could not be safer. I would not dare harm you even if I wished to. I think your husband would take brutal vengeance if I did.”
Cait frowned, remembering Douglas. She fell into step beside the man who was her father, but she was still on guard.
“I see I have made you terribly fearful of me. I am sorry for that little charade at my keep. You rather caught me by surprise.”
“Surprise?”
“Yes. Surprise. Shock. Panic. You see, I had very carefully and intentionally hidden you far from me and my world. Your mother helped too, of course. But then she thought I was keeping an eye on you, and I thought she was. When Erma sickened, neither of us knew it until it was too late. I’m terribly sorry. I would have spared you that fear and grief...”
His voice trailed off.
“I am sorry you felt abandoned and alone. And to make that dangerous journey to seek safety with your king, only to find...only to be told... Well, I’m sure I hurt you deeply. You must understand why I said those things.”
“I don’t,” said Cait stiffly. “I don’t understand.”
The king sighed. “The daughter of a king and a high priestess like Edana has a value in the world. It’s complicated, and you are probably too guileless to understand, but when you were born, many took an interest. The reasons for that interest varied depending on whom you were speaking to, but I will tell you, in some cases, the interest was for sinister reasons like ambition and greed. For Edana and me, that interest made us uneasy. When you were born you were secreted away for safety. But those with the basest, most selfish interest in you continued searching. When I learned that Edana was being threatened, that blackguards were lurking amongst the priestesses at the isle, we put it about that you had died. We mourned over a stillborn infant, buried you with a great, convincing display of heartbroken grief. All the while a small group of my most trusted soldiers were riding through the night to deliver you to Erma in the woods.”
“Who was Erma? Why did you take me to her?”
“Erma was a great priestess at one time. Learned and capable. But in her older age, she wished to hide away. It presented the perfect opportunity for everyone. You got to live in safety and be priestess-raised, and Erma got the peace and serenity she longed for. You lived so sufficiently in the woods with her that I only occasionally sent a man to check on you. It was always a terrible risk, you see, and I told Edana so. She was the one who was supposed to keep in touch with you and Erma, but she had her own problems keeping the secret that you were alive. It seems we tried so hard to protect you that we ended up harming you unintentionally. I’m so sorry for that.”
Cait’s mind reeled. It was a lot of information to take in at once. The king paused, looking at her kindly.
“So you see, when they led you into my Counsel Room that terrible day, I suspected at once who you were, as did they. As you know, you are the very image of your mother. I could see it in their faces, the realization. I knew the gossip would spread quickly, so I pretended you were only a byblow of no consequence, the child of some worthless slut that I detested. I got you away as quickly as possible, to the safest, most far-flung keep I could think of. Again, it seemed that things worked out perfectly. I knew Duncan to be recently widowed, and I knew him to be a most upstanding and protective sort.”
Cait stopped still, thinking over everything he’d said. “So it wasn’t that you didn’t want me? That you wished I had died?”
“Oh, my, no. You have no idea the guilt I’ve lived with, seeing that pain and suffering in your eyes when I uttered those words to you. But if I hadn’t convinced my courtiers you were worthless to me, someone might have caused you mischief of a terrible kind. I had to g
et you to Duncan immediately. I couldn’t even send you with adequate protection because that would have been seen as a sign of your worth. All of it, Caitlyn, it was all for your safety. But even here,” he said sadly, “I’m told you were not entirely safe.”
“No. Although that was no fault of yours or Duncan’s. And I am better now.”
“I’m glad to hear it. You look quite well and happy. It makes my heart unbelievably glad. You are pleased with your husband, and your life here at Inverness?”
“Oh yes, I love it here. And I love Duncan. He has been a wonderful husband to me.”
“And now you are made a mother. Congratulations. I would love to see the baby.”
Cait swallowed, overcome with emotion. “Of...of course you can. She is a girl, her name is Bonny.”
“I hear she is the very image of you, just as you are the image of your mother.”
Cait looked up at him, studying his face. “She is here, you know. Edana.”
And she saw it, that same look she saw on her mother’s face.
* * * * *
Cait walked back to the keep with the men in silence. As Duncan and her father discussed political and social concerns and other complicated things that men talked about, her mind drifted again and again to the same thought.
She had been wanted after all.
She had a father, just as she had a mother. They had both loved her all that time, all the time she had felt abandoned and alone. It was too strange to be walking here beside him, part of a family come together to celebrate the birth of a child.
At the door to the keep, Edana waited, stately and reserved. But her eyes, her eyes gave it all away. She came and embraced the king, and they clung to each other just a little longer than might be considered polite. Cait felt her throat close up with tears.
I understood your father, although we were never so fortunate to find love.
Cait thought it was terrible how circumstances could prevent people from being together with those they loved and cared about the most. She felt herself unwanted and unloved for so many years, but now she had a love that most could only dream of. A love the king and Edana could never openly share.
Duncan met her eyes, noting her pooling tears, understanding too. He cleared his throat, inviting them into the castle. The king seemed embarrassed by the reverence and obeisance of Duncan’s household and servants, but Duncan insisted on a large, celebratory meal for the king and his men.
While preparations were made, the reunited family went abovestairs to introduce the bonny new baby to her royal grandfather. When Henna learned that the king was in her presence, she nearly fell to her knees.
“You musn’t think of me as the king,” he said to the old woman. “Just a doting grandfather come to see his new bairn.” He peered down at the baby Cait placed in his arms.
“Oh, what a treasure.” Wonder shone in his eyes. “What a treasure you have here, daughter.”
“I know it, father. I know.”
* * * * *
Cait watched from the window as her mother and father walked in the gardens under the cover of dusk.
“Stop spying,” teased Duncan. “Let them be. They have not had enough time alone all these years.”
