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I shoot a murderous look at Steven and point my finger at him.
“You should be ashamed of yourself!” I yell at him just above a whisper. “You’re a liar. Luminous the Liar, that’s what your name should be.”
Even though we’re the only ones left in this restaurant, I really don’t want to be kicked out for causing a scene. They have the best chips and salsa in the entire world.
Stephanie laughs softly and reaches across the table to grab my hand, which I’m still pointing at Steven accusatorily.
“You are so adorable,” she tells me before turning to look at her husband. “Didn’t I tell you just by looking at her profile picture that she’d be adorable and perfect?”
Steven nods, leaning over and giving her a kiss on the cheek.
“You were right, and I was wrong. Are you happy now?” he jokes.
They share a loving look, and I look around the restaurant for our waitress, wondering if she was a figment of my imagination because this has got to be an episode of The Twilight Zone I’m living right now.
“Could someone please explain to me what’s going on?”
Stephanie pats my hand reassuringly.
“We’d like you to come home with us.”
I look at her in complete and total confusion.
“You know, for a threesome,” Steven adds.
I jerk my hand out of Stephanie’s and push my chair back from the table so quickly I almost topple backwards. As it is, my feet tangle together when I stand, and I take a few stumbling steps away from the table, smacking my hip into the empty table next to us, sending a few empty glasses toppling over.
“Threesomes are common as a fantasy. Next to lesbian, threesome is the most popular search term for women looking for porn online, according to 2014 analytics from Pornhub, one of the world’s largest such sites, which also found that the threesome category is seventy-five percent more likely to be searched by a woman than by a man. And yeah, so I might be one of those people who Googled threesome before, and you seem like a very lovely couple, but no thank you!” I ramble, turning around and running as fast as I can out of the restaurant.
Chapter 14: I Took Care of It
“Will you stop taking notes and pay attention,” Ariel whispers harshly in my ear.
I look up from my notebook guiltily and glance across the living room at Cindy. My face heats with embarrassment and the skin on the back of my neck starts to prickle.
“This is weird. Isn’t this weird for you?” I whisper back out of the corner of my mouth as our friend takes off her last article of clothing, leaving her in nothing but a black lace bra, matching pair of boy shorts, and sparkly silver stilettos.
I squeeze one of my eyes closed and my shoulders curl up by my ears when she turns to face us, giving us a wink as she starts dancing sensually for the man seated in the chair right behind her.
Cindy decided a field trip was in order and brought Ariel and I along to this bachelor party in order to stand quietly in the corner and watch her work so we’d know what to expect. PJ has been accompanying her to all of her bookings to act as a bodyguard until we’re making enough money to hire someone, and since tonight was going to be a busy night at Charming’s, he was more than happy to give that job to us so he could go into work.
“It’s only weird because you haven’t been paying attention,” Ariel argues, giving Cindy a thumb’s up when she bends forward and shakes her butt towards the groom-to-be.
“I have too been paying attention,” I tell her, looking back down at the notebook in my hand. “Step one, greet the customers and politely tell them the rules about no touching themselves or the dancer during the performance. Step two, hook your cell phone up to their sound system with the music playlist ready to go. Step three—”
Ariel snatches the notebook and pen out of my hands and tosses them to the floor.
“If you’re not going to watch, at least tell me why you’re in such a bad mood tonight. You’re not still mad about the whole Steven thing are you? We already apologized and promised to do a more thorough background check on your next date,” Ariel reminds me.
“I’m not in a bad mood. And I will hold a grudge for the Gus and the Steven thing until the end of time.”
I cross my arms in front of me with a huff and realize Ariel is right. I have been in a bad mood, and not just tonight. I’ve been in a bad mood for an entire week, and it’s all Vincent’s fault. I haven’t seen him at all since I ran out of his house the morning of my date with Steven. Just like he told me when he convinced me to live with him, he’s worked until all hours of the morning, coming home long after I’m asleep, and staying in bed until after I leave to go to the library. We’re like two ships passing in the night, and it kind of sucks.
