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“You’re like the Jessica Rabbit version of her.” Belle shrugs. “Same long, thick hair, same exact big emerald eyes, same cheekbones, same flawless complexion, same full lips.”
I study Vanessa even harder, and she stares right back at me. I actually fucking shiver when I finally see it, then curse myself for being a tiny bit jealous of how beautiful she was when I first met her, because I thought she was so perfect and I was lacking. We do look similar, aside from my red hair and her dark brown hair, and my abundant curves. I’m going to chalk this up to having a moment of second-guessing my self-confidence when I met her because of all my nerves that day over meeting Eric’s mother.
I can’t believe that bitch thought she could dangle someone who looked like me in front of Eric and assume he was so shallow that all he cared about was a pretty face and not what’s on the inside. Not that Vanessa isn’t an amazing human being with a great personality, but she’s not me. And Ursula should have been smarter than that. She should have thought more highly of her son. Once again, I’m back to being filled with rage that there’s nothing I can do about her right now.
“I know we don’t know each other very well yet, but I really like you, Ariel,” Vanessa tells me. “I liked what I saw in Eric when I witnessed the two of you together. It’s not right that you feel like you have to give all that up. Believe me when I tell you, he will understand if you explain everything to him. And honestly, I’m sure he already knows.”
All the tequila I’ve consumed threatens to come back up, and I have to quickly swallow it back down.
“Sweetie, you left him the day after you met his mother. He’s not an idiot,” Cindy says softly.
“If he figures it out on his own, there’s nothing I can do about that, but I’m not going to be the one to hurt him that way. I’m not going to be the one who drives a wedge between him and his mother. I won’t be that woman who does something that to the man she loves and make him choose between us. I can’t. I can’t be the one responsible for ruining everything with the only family he has left,” I tell them adamantly, blinking back the tears that I thought had all dried up.
Everyone at the table is silent for a few minutes, and I’m thankful that they don’t try to come up with another argument. I’m so emotionally drained from the last few days that I’m afraid I won’t have any energy left to give this board meeting the attention it needs.
Cindy calls the server back to our table and tells her to just bring us the entire bottle of tequila. We spend the next few hours doing shot after shot until everything becomes a blur.
The last thing I remember before I pass out face-first into a bowl of mixed nuts on the table is seeing Vanessa up on stage, surrounded by strippers, her blouse untucked from her pencil skirt, swinging her suit coat around her head like a helicopter, smacking her hand against a stripper’s ass.
* * *
“This is such a good idea. You’re so pretty and smart. We should make out.”
“Jesus, Belle, stop trying to kiss me. We’ve got important smit to do. Slit to do. Shiffy do.”
“I think the words you’re looking for are ‘shit to do.’”
“STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO PJ! I’VE GOT SHIFFY DO!”
“My teeth feel funny. Do I still have teeth, Vincent?”
“You still have teeth, sweetheart.”
“Someone needs to go with these two. We can’t just put them in an Uber and hope for the best. I nominate Vincent. I think he can handle puke better.”
“Fuck off. I nominate PJ. He’s encouraging this shit that I’d like to state once again, for the record, I think is an asinine idea and will never work.”
“No one’s gonna puke. We can handle our liquor. Never mind. I think I’m gonna puke. Lemme just purge the demons and then we can go. PJ, hold my hair back.”
“Son of a bitch. I swear to Christ if someone pukes in my lap, there will hell to pay.”
I don’t know what’s happening or where I am, but all these loud voices in my head are really killing my buzz. I’m pretty sure I’ve had entirely too much tequila and now I’m hallucinating, because I swear I heard Eric’s voice somewhere in there.
“You get Ariel, we’ll get the Uber. And make sure you pick the penis out of her hair and off her face. Penis. PENIS! Oh, my God, why can’t I say penis?!”
“I’ve got her. Don’t get arrested. And I will make sure the PEANUTS are out of her hair and off her face.”
