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Something like an electrical shock ran through his entire body. The plan had been for this to be all show, a way to stop any of the rumors about them fighting dead in their tracks. He hadn’t been prepared for the way this kiss would send his heart into overdrive or how hard it was to stop. Kissing her wasn’t supposed to feel this way anymore. Yet it did.
The crowd cheered louder and Sawyer felt Piper’s hand push against his shoulder. He opened his eyes to find her staring back and breathless. He pressed one more peck on her lips.
Sawyer watched as she struggled to control her expression. She blinked a few times and forced a smile. “We should really toast all of you guys. If it wasn’t for everyone in this room, Sawyer and I wouldn’t sound or look half as good. Let’s eat!”
Heath appeared at Sawyer’s side as everyone scrambled to find a seat. “Nice work, but the kiss was a little much, don’t you think?” he murmured.
Sawyer threw an arm around his shoulders. “Smile, Heath. Nothing but happy faces, remember?”
* * *
DINNER WAS A BLUR. Piper struggled to focus. The roller-coaster ride that was her life had her head spinning. Sawyer acted like nothing she said today mattered. A kiss would have been no big deal. She would have given him a little kiss for saying those nice things about her, but that kiss was anything but little.
He had kissed her the way people kiss in movies. It was over-the-top and full of passion that she was sure didn’t exist. She’d told him her heart couldn’t take this. Did he have no regard for how something like that would make her feel?
“I need to speak to you,” she said to Sawyer as they got into the elevator back at the hotel. “Can we talk in your room?”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” her father asked in a tone that meant he didn’t think so.
The way Sawyer looked at her was clearly a challenge. Would she or would she not do something her father didn’t want her to do? She would show him she could make up her own mind about things.
“I’m sure,” she replied.
“We can talk wherever you want to, Piper.”
The elevator stopped on his floor, and the two of them exited. She followed him, trying to muster up the courage to confront him in the most productive way possible. She needed him to continue with this charade until it was safe to call things off.
“I’m sorry,” he said as soon as they were behind closed doors.
His unexpected apology caused all her thoughts to scatter. “Sorry for what?”
“I’m not good at this, Piper. I don’t know how to turn my feelings off and on. I don’t know how to smile when I want to scream. I’m used to being straight with people.”
Piper sat down on the bed. It had been a long and exhausting day, and they had to get up tomorrow and do it all over again.
“Are you saying you want to back out of our agreement?” she asked, afraid to hear the answer.
He sat next to her and placed his hand over hers, lacing their fingers together. “I don’t know. Do you?”
“No. I need this.”
“But do you want this?”
“A fake engagement? Of course not, but it’s all I’ve got.”
Sawyer shifted to face her. “You know what I was thinking about all through dinner tonight?”
Piper had no idea. She’d been thinking about that kiss, but it was unlikely that was where his head was. “What?”
“I was thinking about Liam. Liam is going to die. He’s going to die before he knows what it’s like to be seven years old. He’s going to die before he knows what it’s like to drive a car or buy a house. He’s going to die without ever knowing what it means to fall in love.”
Tears welled in his eyes, and Piper’s heart broke open. “It’s so tragic.”
“It is. He’s also going to die without ever knowing what it means to fall in love. And it made me realize I don’t want to die without ever knowing what that feels like, either.”
This was it. He had been lying when he said he didn’t know what he wanted. He wanted the chance to fall in love, and he couldn’t do that when he was fake engaged. She was holding him back.
