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“I love a lot of things about you,” he continued. All he could do was be honest with her. “I love your unending positivity. I love how much you care about other people. I love your laugh.”
“Stop,” she said, pulling her hand away.
He didn’t like the way she sounded or the lack of physical contact. Sawyer didn’t care about bad luck or what the rules were. He pulled off his blindfold so he could see Piper’s face. She took his breath away. She was the single most beautiful woman in the world. He could feel his heart rejoicing at the simple sight of her.
“I do love those things, Piper.”
“But you aren’t in love with me.” There was so much pain in her eyes. “You can’t say that you’re going to love me every day of forever or that I’m the only person you want to spend the rest of your life with because you can’t imagine a world without me in it.”
Her voice was definitely shaky. He reached out to her, hoping to hold her, but she stood up and moved away.
“That’s a really scary thing to say. I mean, what if you decide one day that you don’t love me anymore, while I’m of the mind-set that I can’t imagine my life without you? If I think that way, I’ll end up like my dad. He had a broken heart, and it killed him way before his time.”
“You think your dad’s heart attack happened because he suffered heartbreak?”
“Not literally. But he didn’t take good care of himself. He ate too much and drank too much because the depression lingered. It was always there, under the surface. I once heard him tell someone that even after almost twenty years of her being gone, he would still take her back if she came home. That’s what killed him.”
“So we’re back to trust. You say you trust me, but you really don’t. You have no idea how much I wish there was a way I could prove to you that I won’t break your heart. I can tell you I won’t. I would even sign a contract promising I won’t, but none of that can guarantee anything. You simply have to trust me.”
Sawyer felt like a heel for not being able to give her that. “I’m trying here, Piper. And I know you’re trying. I have to acknowledge that you’ve stood your ground even though everyone has tried to make us doubt what we’re doing.”
The pained expression on Piper’s face made him worry something was wrong with the baby.
“Are you okay?” he asked. “Is it the baby?”
Piper sat back down and shook her head. She seemed to be fighting back tears. “Please don’t lie to me, Sawyer. Don’t lie to yourself. You want to trust and love me, but you don’t, do you? Not completely.”
He longed to be honest, but the truth would certainly hurt her. “I don’t want to lie to you. It’s been killing me to lie about everything to everyone for so many months now, but I haven’t ever lied to you. I don’t want to lie to you.”
“I don’t want you to lie to me, either,” she said, pressing her fingers to the corners of her eyes.
He had been so worried about his heart, he hadn’t given hers enough consideration. He didn’t want to do this, but she was leaving him no choice. “I’m sorry, Piper. Not completely.”
* * *
PIPER’S HEART WAS breaking in two. All this talk about Sawyer wanting to protect his heart, yet he didn’t seem to care about what he was doing to hers.
“So where does that leave us?” he asked.
She felt sick. They had come so far, but were still falling so short. Could they still walk down the aisle? She put her hands on her stomach. All she wanted was to give this baby a happy family.
“That leaves me in love with you and you falling in love with me. And both of us loving this baby.”
There were people who settled for much less than that, she told herself. There were those who married for money instead of love. The ones who married out of fear of being lonely. Piper was fortunate enough to be marrying for love.
She could walk down that aisle today and marry the man she loved. Only she’d be asking him to marry someone he cared about who was carrying a baby that he most definitely loved.
Was that enough?
