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“What does it look like?”
“You’re supposed to be Grandpère’s hostess.”
“I’m supposed to be a lot of things.” She was trembling as she threw her shoes about. “Thanks to you, I need some air. Some space. Lots of it.”
So Alicia wasn’t the only woman he’d upset. He stepped into her bedroom. “I don’t want you out there. All alone. In danger.”
“Since when is my putting myself in danger any of your business?”
“There’s ground fog. You could get lost.”
“Isn’t that what you want? Me gone? So, big deal! I’m going!”
“Anything could happen.”
“So? I’m a big girl. I can handle myself.”
“Something might eat you.” So, he was probably exaggerating. Still…
“Hey, there. If this scares you I won’t tell you about the time I had a pilot drop me off at the Zambezi River on a dirt strip, and my contact didn’t show up because he’d been gut shot and was on an operating table. The plane flew off, and I was all alone in a jungle and lions were roaring.”
She laughed and then stopped. “Sorry.” She paused. “If I’m feeling a little hysterical, it’s because I’m a lot more scared of you than I could ever be of the swamp I practically grew up in. You were right. I shouldn’t have come back. But now that I’m here, I’ve got to figure out how to deal with what I’m feeling. I think best in the swamp.”
He swallowed. “Cici, the reason I followed you out here is because I don’t want my actions to ruin the party for you.”
“Oh, really? Is that why?” Again she laughed, but not gaily.
“I shouldn’t have danced…”
“Do you think you can lie to yourself and to me forever? You want me. I could see it and feel it on the dance floor. I can feel it now, too. You’re wondering if we’re still as good together as we were in the past.”
“Why do you always push?”
“Is it me pushing? Or is it something inside us?”
He turned away from her.
“Something like sex,” she said. “Let’s be honest. You’re a man, so, naturally, you want sex, and you think you don’t stand a chance tonight with your Alicia, who’s probably mad as hell at both of us—and I don’t blame her. You think it’ll be easier to get it here from me than from her. Plus, it’ll be of the no strings variety, ’cause you’re who you are, and I’m who I am. And no strings and something strange is just the thing to tempt most men…especially hypocrites, like you, who can’t even admit what they feel.”
“No, listen…”
“No, you listen! Why don’t you do us both a favor and go chase your tame Alicia, who’s so perfect for you? I’m sure she’s more than willing to believe any lie you choose to tell her.”
“I don’t care about Alicia,” he whispered, shocked by the truth of that statement even as he said it. “I want you. Not her. There! I admitted it! Are you happy?”
“You’d say anything—”
“I want you! I’ve tried not to.”
When Cici stood up, both shoes on now, he had to strain to see her expression in the dim light. “You tried not to? How do you think that makes me feel? We’ve done this before. We made a lot of people miserable, including ourselves.”
“And I thought you liked living dangerously.”
“Not tonight. Not with you. Sure, in the past I’ve taken a few risks. Mostly because I was too foolish and young to know what I was doing. Like that time I was telling you about in Zimbabwe. That happened just after…after you’d dumped me and…and I’d left.”
The incredible pain in her eyes hit them hard. “But this is different. Maybe I’ve had my fill of my heart being broken. Maybe I just want to write for some local newspaper and settle down to a simple, predictable life with a nice boring guy who loves me and is sweet to me. Maybe I’ve finally realized that what I want, which is happily ever after with some boring guy, is impossible with you.”
He leaned his shoulders back against the jamb of her door. She’d given him his out. He should take it.
“So, like I said, go. Do us both a favor, and spill your heart out to your pretty, proper, rich Alicia. Like I said, she’ll forgive you.”
When he said nothing, she took a step toward him. “Damn it, go!” When he didn’t, she took a quick breath.
He stared at her, willing himself to do as she said and go. But he couldn’t.
The tension built until the humming in his blood was so loud he was afraid she could hear it. Finally, he crossed the room and pulled her into his arms. The instant his hands wrapped her, she shivered, her heat and passion flowing through him like a contagion. Pulling her closer, he shuddered.
