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This was one observant child.
And I had no idea how to have this conversation with her.
“Have you asked Daddy this?”
She shook her head. “I don’t wanna make him sad.”
“Why are you asking me?” I said it gently, because I genuinely wanted to know.
“Daddy was sad. Den we moved here.” She dropped her eyes and played with the screws in her hand. “Den you came. And now Daddy is happy. And, and, sometimes, when I’m sad, Daddy kisses me and den I’m happy again. So, I fort maybe you kissed Daddy and made him happy again.”
Wow.
Kid logic.
Pretty accurate, actually.
Shit.
I took a deep breath and slowly let it go again. How was I supposed to answer that? How was I supposed to answer it in a way that she wouldn’t take it and come up with some wild scenario?
Because, yes, I had kissed Daddy—and a whole lot more—and he’d already told me that I made him feel happy. But explaining that to Ellie when she obviously had some kind of hope for something would not be easy.
Maybe it shouldn’t even be explained at all.
“I like your dad very much,” I said slowly and carefully. “But that doesn’t mean I’m the reason he’s so happy. Maybe he really likes it here in your lovely new house.”
She shook her head, her curls bouncing. “No. He waughs a wot wiff you.”
“Maybe he thinks I’m funny. Like you think that dog on that TV show that’s really clumsy is funny.”
She looked up, a hint of a grin on her face. “Marshall is funny when he cwashes into the elevader.”
“Right? See, maybe that’s how Daddy thinks I’m funny.”
The smile slowly dropped from her face, and she nodded. “Okay.”
I moved the drawer to the side and grabbed two pieces to start the next one. She was already handing me a screw. I took it and paused. There was something else bothering her.
“Ellie?” I said softly. “Is there something else?”
She looked up and met my eyes. “All the udder kids at Summer’s house have a mommy.”
Oh, boy.
“Yes, they do,” I said carefully.
“But, my mommy is an angel.” She frowned. “Do you fink I can have anudder?”
Oh.
Boy.
I started screwing. “Well, maybe. That’s sometimes how it works. Did you know that my mommy is an angel, too?”
“No. When did she gwow wins?”
“I was five,” I said, taking the next screw. “I was very sad, but when I grew up a little bit, my daddy met someone else, and now she’s my step-mommy.”
“Does she do fins like bwaid your hair and paint your nails and help you pick pwetty dwesses?”
“She used to. I’m an adult now, but she did, yeah.”
“Do I had to wait until I’m big for a new mommy?”
“That’s up to Daddy, I guess. He has to find someone who makes him happy and who loves you and your brother.”
“Like you mate him happy?”
“Kind of like that.” I stopped. “Maybe you should finish this conversation with Daddy. He will probably have more answers than me, okay?”
She frowned again, but she nodded in agreement anyway. Thank god—that was rapidly approaching a line of questioning I had no answers for.
If I didn’t stop, I knew she’d connect things. And the very last thing I wanted to do was to break her heart.
Because I wasn’t even sure if I’d accepted how I felt about Brantley yet.
***
“Man, that escalated quickly,” Jayda said when I was done explaining everything that had happened. She tore off a piece of naan bread and tilted her head to the side. “Did she ask Brantley anything?”
I shrugged, dipping my own bit of naan into the sauce on my plate. “I don’t know. She hung around until we’d finished building, then disappeared. I put up a couple of shelves and left quickly.”
“Wasn’t it awkward?”
“I don’t think he heard, honestly. When I was done, he was on a work call, so I just motioned that I had to leave and came here.” I nibbled on the bread, then put it down and reached for my wine. “It’s all…Shit, I don’t know, Jay.”
“It’s all fucked up,” she finished for me.
“Basically.” I sighed and leaned back on the sofa.
She cradled her wine glass against her, nestling herself into the corner. “Are you only feeling like this because you see him literally every day, though? Like, when you’re done next week, how often are you going to see him?”
That was a good point.
“And is he even someone you’d consider dating if you hadn’t met him like this? No. Because of the kid thing. And the only reason you’re in this situation is because you know and like his kids.”
“You’re the one who told me to screw him, remember?”
“Yes,” she said slowly. “But I didn’t know you had feelings for him.”
“Neither did I until he fucked me seven ways to Sunday.”
She snorted. “Funny how that happens.” She rested her glass on her thigh. “I mean, think about this, Kali. If you acted seriously on the way you’re feeling right now, literally everything in your life will change. You wouldn’t be stepping in to babysit because he’s desperate. The kids would become your responsibility. Are you ready for that?”
