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And yet, I’ll never be mated to someone who doesn’t give me equal say in my life.
He growls as I jerk my head back, my lips swollen and covered in the taste of him—plum wine and juniper. His chest heaves in time with my racing heart.
“Valerian,” I whisper, but something about the way I say his name only excites him more. His eyes fix on my lips as his hand slips behind my head, his fingers gently twining in my loose hair.
Any moment he’ll press my aching lips back to his, kissing away the last of my willpower.
“Valerian, wait. This went further than I planned.”
“Do you have any idea what would happen to me if you were hurt?”
I shake my head. “You don’t get it. I refuse to be anything but your equal, Valerian Sylverfrost. And yes, I want it all. I want real, sappy love, the human kind. I want equal say in our relationship and my life without your alpha Fae bullshit. I want to be with you because you respect me, not because you think some stupid magical bond says I’m yours. I’m done being property of the Fae—and that includes you. So if that’s what you think our relationship is, then I’ll never be your mate.”
A muscle beneath his jaw feathers. “You’re asking me to be okay with you entering a contest that’s notorious for its brutality?”
“No, idiot. I’m asking you to let me decide my fate.” Hurt sparks inside his eyes, but he’s silent, letting me speak my truth. “I’m asking you to respect my decision and then train me to survive it. I’m asking you to acknowledge that I’m a grown ass adult who has the final say in my life.”
A ragged breath escapes his lips. He stares at me, nostrils flared, and I can see that he wants to argue. I can feel his abdominal muscles clench against my belly as he works through his emotions, his jaw grinding.
And then, finally, he nods. “Okay.”
“Okay?” I repeat, sure I’ve misheard because Valerian would never give in that easily.
“You’re right. You’re a grown ass adult”—his hands slide playfully to my rear—“and I can’t forbid you from doing anything, even if I think it’s a terrible decision. Eclipsa and I will increase your training, plus there will be more sessions trying to coax out your magic.”
The tension in my shoulders eases as I celebrate this small but important victory. It means that Valerian Sylverfrost is capable of compromise.
Huzzah. I feel like I should have a cake made or something.
“There’s something else,” I say. “Since I’m entering the gauntlet, I’m going to put in my application for the internship at Larkspur and Associates.”
His fingers resume their lazy strokes over my thighs, his silver eyes still dark with desire. “Of course you are. I didn’t expect otherwise.”
“So you’re not mad that I might miss fourth year?”
“Mad?” He shakes his head. “What kind of male do you think I am? Actually . . .” His full lips curl around the edges. “Considering how your new tactic is seducing me when you want something, yes. I’m furious, Summer. Now, how do you plan to change my mind?”
I chuckle, running my fingers through his hair. “I think we might melt this room if we go for round two.” “Would that be such a bad thing?”
“Without walls, everyone would see us.”
“I think this thing between us is beyond hiding, don’t you?”
A hollow bubble of hope swells my chest as I imagine a public life with Valerian. “What about the Darken?”
“Consummate the bond, and together, we’ll be powerful enough to go after Hellebore and destroy my grandfather’s soul once and for all.”
My throat tightens, and the question I’ve been too afraid to ask tumbles from my lips. “Do you love me?”
His eyes darken. “Truth?”
I nod, my heart pounding strangely in my chest as I await his answer.
“When I watched you walk through the restaurant earlier, pulling down your dress, your lips twisted in that adorable half-smile you get when you’re uncomfortable, totally oblivious to how every male Fae was watching you, I realized something. No matter what you look like, no matter whose body you inhabit, the bond between us will never be severed.” I’m speechless as he drags his thumb over my wavering bottom lip. “I would do anything for you, Summer Solstice. You have to know that by now. Anything. That has to be better than what you call love.”
I blink, trying to mask my disappointment. “Valerian, I told you, I want it all. You said those words once, when you explained our soulbond to me. Why can’t you say them again?”
“Because that would be a cruelty, pretending I believe in something I do not.” A frustrated sigh escapes his lips. “I’ve watched humans enough to know that human love is an illusion that fades with time, corrupting into apathy and sometimes even loathing.”
