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The only day in the last four months that I took a break was the day Mack and I entered—and passed—the second required gauntlet.

If I hadn’t had the smart idea to throw my name in the final gauntlet, I could have stopped my training then and focused more on studying for my final written exams, like Mack.

Instead, it was back to the grueling practices. Two hours every morning with Eclipsa, testing my accuracy with weapons.

Nights were spent trying to coax out my magic. Even with all of Eclipsa’s persistence, I’ve only used magic once, right after she told me I couldn’t stop for a drink. I was frustrated and a little hurt because Valerian had found yet another excuse not to show up to practice again, the coward.

Eclipsa and I were both tired and yelling at each other and the next thing I knew, my hydroflask was in my hand.

Apparently, I stole Eclipsa’s ability to recall objects close by. But that victory was followed by a series of failures, and today’s no different.

The timer goes off, and I lean against the heavy red bag, struggling to catch my breath.

Eclipsa frowns, uncrossing her legs. “Enough. Practice is over.”

I don’t even bother arguing as I begin stripping off my fingerless gloves, the Velcro ripping loudly. It’s the last practice before the final gauntlet next weekend, but I don’t feel half as ready as I should.

It’s no one’s fault but my own, even if I want to blame Valerian just to feel better.

When he’s here, he’s attentive and thorough. Watching my stance. Helping me with some of the new weapons. Offering suggestions. And Eclipsa doesn’t need him to train me.

I realize now he only came to my training because he wanted to be with me, not because he thought Eclipsa couldn't handle it by herself.

So it’s not fair to blame him for the sudden incompetence I feel. But I do blame him for leaving the second my sessions are over. For the cold, almost emotionless way he looks at me now.

“I’m not ready,” I groan. What was I thinking?

“Your skills are there, Summer. It’s your magic that worries me.” She chews her lip. “We have to hope that you don’t accidentally use it during the gauntlet. After that, we’ll hit it hard this summer until we figure it out.”

“We could try the water bottle again?” I mutter. But my heart really wants to conjure Valerian. To see his stupid beautiful face, even if his emotions are hidden behind an icy wall. I look to the door, not so secretly wishing he’d walk through.

Eclipsa follows my stare, and a knowing look comes over her. “Summer, I don’t know what happened between you two that night, but I know that the Winter Prince cares deeply about you.”

Cares deeply. Those two words can suck it.

“That bad, huh?” she presses.

I hop to my feet, fixing my ponytail in the wall mirror. “That night . . . I might have asked him if he’s capable of love. Loving me, specifically.”

Eclipsa’s eyebrows shoot up. “And?”

“And he doesn’t. End of story. I also might have mentioned his mom.”

“Oof.”

I focus on looping my hair tie around my ponytail rather than the hurt I feel. I hate how pouty and juvenile I sound. A relationship with Valerian will complicate my life. I should be relieved that I can finally move on and focus on my goals.

Eclipsa comes up behind me. “I warned you that our kind views that stuff differently.”

“You did, and I’m an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot, at least, not about this. You and the prince are from two different worlds. I don’t think either of you were prepared for how different.” She meets my eyes in the mirror. “His mother claimed she loved him and then she left him, while those cruelest to him have been loyal. For him, love will always mean pain.”

“Always?”

“I know he would do almost anything for his friends, especially you. And if he’s been distant these last few months, it’s because he’s trying to find a way to give you what you want.” She walks over to her gym bag. “Love is just a word, Summer. Why put so much importance on it?” o;Would that be such a bad thing?”

“Without walls, everyone would see us.”

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