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‘I guess you decided that sleeping with me would be a good way to get background information on Bridget. Or maybe it was just something that was given to you on a silver platter.’ Bitterness crept into her voice because she knew very well that what she said was the absolute truth. He hadn’t had to energise himself into trying to get her into bed. She had leapt in before he had even finished asking the question.
‘We enjoyed one another, Brianna. God, never have I apologised so much and so sincerely.’
‘Except I wasn’t using you.’ She chose to ignore his apology because, in the big picture, it was just stupid and meaningless.
‘I...’ Wasn’t using you? How much of that statement could he truthfully deny? ‘That doesn’t detract from the fact that what we had was real.’
‘Don’t you mean that the sex we had was real? Because beyond that we didn’t have anything. You were supposed to be a writer travelling through, getting inspiration.’ The conversation seemed to be going round and round in circles and she couldn’t see a way of leading it towards anything that could resemble a conclusion. It felt like being in a labyrinth and she began walking on wooden legs towards her coat which she had earlier dumped on one of the chairs.
‘Where are you going?’
‘Where do you think, Leo? I’m leaving.’
‘To go where? For God’s sake, Brianna, there are guest rooms galore in this apartment. Pick whichever one you want to use! This is all a shock, I get that, but you can’t just run out of here with nowhere to go!’ Frustration laced his words with a savage urgency that made him darken and he sprang up, took a couple of steps towards her and then stopped.
They stood staring at one another. Her open transparency, which was so much part and parcel of her personality, had been replaced by a frozen aloofness that was doing all sorts of crazy, unexpected things to his head. He was overcome with an uncontrollable desire to smash things. He turned sharply away. His head was telling him that if she wanted to go, then he should let her go, but his body was already missing the feel of hers and he was enraged with himself for being sidestepped by an emotion over which he appeared to have no control.
Brianna could sense the shift of his body away from her, even though she was trying hard not to actually look at him, and that was just a further strike of the hammer. He couldn’t even look at her. She was now disposable, however much he had wanted her. He had found his mother, had had whatever conversation with her that had changed his mind about her, and now he had no further use for the woman he had taken and used.
‘Well?’ he demanded roughly. ‘Where are you going to go at this hour? Brianna, please...’
She wanted to tell him that the last thing she could do was sleep in one of his guest bedrooms. Just the thought of him being under the same roof would have kept her up all night.
She backed towards the door. ‘I’m going to go to the hospital.’
‘And do what there, Brianna? Visiting hours are well and truly over and I don’t think they’ll allow overnight guests in the common area.’ He felt as though he was being ripped apart. ‘You have my word that I won’t come near you,’ he said, attempting to soften his tone. ‘I’ll leave the apartment, if you want. Go stay in a hotel.’
Did he think that she was scared that he might try and break down her bedroom door so that he could ravish her? Did he honestly imagine that she was foolish enough to fear any such thing after what he had said?
‘You can leave or you can stay, Leo.’ She gave a jerky shake of her shoulder. ‘I don’t honestly care. I’m going to the hospital and, no, I won’t be trying to cadge a night’s sleep on the sofa in the common area. I’m going to leave a letter for one of the nurses to hand to Bridget in the morning, explaining that I’ve had to get back to the pub.’
‘And the reason for that being...?’ There were shadows under her eyes. He didn’t feel proud to acknowledge the fact that he had put them there. His guilty conscience refused to be reined in. ‘What reason could you have for needing to rush back to the pub? Or do you intend to tell Bridget the truth about who I am?’
‘I would never do that, Leo, and the fact that you would think that I might just shows how little you know me. As little, as it turns out, I know you. We were just a couple of strangers having fun for a few weeks.’ Her heart constricted painfully when she said that. ‘I know you think that I’m all wrapped up in you, but I’m not. I’m upset because I didn’t take you for a liar and, now that I know what you are, I’m glad this is all over. Next to you, Daniel was a walk in the park!’
