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There was a loud, angry cry among the fey, and most of them poofed out of the arena. The rest started fighting amongst themselves. And I hoped they killed each other while they warred for a new ruler. Even with Ziriel dead, the anger still burned in me.
The fire felt good and just and better than the searing pain in my heart and the tears that wouldn’t stop, so I fed the flames. I surrendered to anger for the first time in my life. I gave in to the rush of power, letting it spew out of me.
“Every single djinn demon will die.” I would burn myself out hunting them all until each one of these tricksters died.
I started toward the exit. They might have left this room, but the hunt was on. And when the last of them was dead, I’d let myself burn, too.
“Cosette.” The voice seemed like it was far away, but there was the roar of fire and smoke and—
The room went silent and still. The flickering flames froze.
“Cosette.”
I spun to face Eli behind me. “You.” I built up the power, ready to spit fire at him, but Eli raised his hand.
From one instant to the next, the flames were gone. Doused. Extinguished. Even the fire on my blades was gone as they slipped from my fingers and clattered to the ground. Without the fire, all that left in me was my grief.
I fell to my knees.
The sob that came from me was guttural and loud and sounded like it was coming from somewhere else. I couldn’t make it stop. My heart had been ripped from me but why hadn’t it killed me? I needed it to kill me, too.
I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t speak. Couldn’t do anything but make a keening, sobbing mess of a noise.
“Peace, Cosette.” Eli laid a hand on me.
The keening and sobbing stopped, but that was it. Eli couldn’t fix what was broken inside of me. Even if he could do some magic and repair my heart, it was too late. My heart was gone. There was nothing left to repair.
The tears were spilling out of me faster than I could blink them away. The crushing weight in my chest was still heavier than I could bear. The emptiness of my soul was sucking me into a dark, bottomless pit. A place where hope and dreams and love were tortured away until there was nothing good left.
“I’m sorry.”
I shook my head at him. “You knew. You got him killed. This is your fault.” I sounded mean, evil, full of bitterness, and I didn’t give a shit about any of that. I wasn’t a princess. Not today.
Today I would burn with justice.
“I didn’t know this would happen.” Eli knelt beside me, his great gray and white speckled wings spread out behind him. “I was told that Ziriel could break the tie. My orders were to bring Chris here and then stay out of it, but I would’ve broken my orders if I’d seen this coming. I know I can read minds, but God doesn’t let me in on the big picture. I only get pieces and follow His wishes.”
He wiped a hand down my cheek and I slapped it away.
“No. You knew. You left me here before and you left him—”
“I didn’t leave you here last time. You started killing everyone, and when I tried to stop you—because Gales is very much in the gray area and each life should be weighed—you pushed me out. You locked me out. Something that only your father could do. It was the first time I knew that there was more to you than fey.”
“I want him back. I love him. Please.” I was choking on sobs, but I was getting the words out. “And he’s gone. I can’t—I can’t—I can’t do this without him. I can’t breathe. I can’t. Breathe. I can’t—”
Eli laid his hand on my head. “Peace, child.”
Tingles ran from my skull down every inch of my body as his power poured into me.
The grief dulled, but I didn’t want it to dull. I didn’t want it to go away. I wanted Chris. I needed him back. I couldn’t—
“Peace.”
The tingles came again, but he wasn’t strong enough. Not for this. I blinked up at him through my tears. “I have no peace left.” My hair brushed against my face as I shook my head. My peace was with Chris. And then the air was sucked out of me again. “Where’s his body? Eli?”
I scrambled up, but I couldn’t see it. There was nothing but me and Eli left in the scorched arena.
“Oh, God. Eli! Did I burn it?” My chest was pumping in and out too fast, too hard, but I couldn’t stop the panic.
