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I fell to the ground.
The sobbing was back and I couldn’t make it stop. And for once, I didn’t give a shit about who was watching or that they were seeing the true Cosette. I was done faking it. I was done being my mother’s pet daughter. I was over it.
Van ran down the aisle, dropping to his knees in front of me. He called a quick silencing spell, making it so that we were in our own little protected world. “Is marrying me so bad?” He gave me a wink when I looked up at him.
“Yes. It’s absolutely awful.” I laughed through my tears, but then the sobbing started again. “I’m broken, Van. My heart turned to sand while we were at Gales. All the tiny, charred fragments blew away in the wind, and I can’t get them back. I can’t do this. I love you, but I can’t do this.”
“You can.” He grabbed my face, pulling it close to his. “You will.”
“No. No, I can’t. I won’t survive it. I’m fading. I choose to fade.” I tried to push him away, but he held my face painfully tight.
“Stop! You’re not fading. I won’t let you. We will do what we’ve done the last century and a half together. We will survive it. This won’t be easy, but we are stronger together. And once everyone is looking the other way, then we will get our revenge.” His tone grew so dark that somewhere, deep inside of me, the door leaking all my magic into the world slammed shut.
My flame relit.
“Revenge?”
The burning grew.
I liked the sound of revenge.
His grip lightened. “Yes, Cosette. Your mother forgets what I am, but I have not forgotten. She’s pushed me too far. So, I’m playing along with her charade, and once we’re married, my plans go into motion.” He smiled and let me go.
I leaned away from him. I was seeing a side of Van I’d never seen before. He’d been very careful to keep this side hidden from me. The one that earned him the title God of Destruction.
“I was fading after my wife was murdered—same as you’re trying to. I waited until my revenge was done, and was ready to chase her to the next world. But then your mother dangled a beautiful little girl in front of me. One that needed my help. My protection. A father. She didn’t realize that she was giving me something very, very dangerous.”
“What? Because I’m—”
“She gave me someone to love, but she forgot what I am. Vanilor, God of Warfare, Champion of the Powerless, One Who Bathes in Blood. You think I can’t take on your irrelevant mother and win? She tried to play me. She tried to hurt the only thing that matters to me in this world. I was too worried about losing you to see it. But now she will remember exactly who I am.”
I grabbed his arm. “You promise. You promise you’ll help me get revenge? Against Gales? Against my mother? No matter the price.”
He gripped my shoulders, bringing his forehead to mine. “Daughter of my soul, I will do whatever it takes to keep you alive. If you wish to drown your enemies in their blood, if that is what keeps you living, then it would be my pleasure.”
“The wedding night?” I wasn’t sleeping with him. He was the closest thing to a father I had, and the idea of it was beyond sick.
“We fake it.”
“But lying—”
“We won’t lie.” He ran a thumb under my eyes to brush away the last of the drying tears. His eyes were bright blue. Not the same blue as Chris’ wolf, but an icier, deadlier, frost blue. The ill look in his face was replaced with deadly hope.
My mother had been an idiot to forget who Van really was. If anyone should rule the fey, it should’ve been Van. And it made me wonder what had happened to keep him from the throne.
Van rose up on his knees. “Trust me, Cosette. I found a way. I’m taking care of it. I’m taking care of you. Whatever you need to do to stay alive, I will make it happen.”
Now, I could look up from where I’d fallen on the floor. I could see the faces looking at me. Watching. Judging.
I looked back at Van. His lips were pressed tight but I could see the determination inside him.
“If this is a manipulation to keep me alive—”
“I’ve told you the truth. Do I want you to stay alive? Hell, yes, I do.” His hushed words were fierce and full of fire. “Would I do anything to give you another reason to live? Yes. And when you’re done with your revenge, I’ll find another reason for you to live. I will keep doing it until you decide you want to live again for you.”
My eyes burned and the tears started again. “I don’t deserve you.”
“Yes, you do.” He cupped my cheek and his shoulders softened a little. “You’ve never believed it, but you deserve everything. I’m sorry that I didn’t see what was coming. I believed as much as you did, but we’ll have revenge, and then we’l
