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“Because as soon as we’re together, he’ll start whining again. I’m not opening up. I’m not letting him in. Blah. Blah. Blah. He’s got this picture of what we’d be like in his mind, but when it’s not actually like that, all he does is complain. I couldn’t ever be myself around him.” And that had been the downfall of our relationship. “Honestly, I’m starting to think I’m not built to be with anyone. Haden was sweet, caring, has a good business. In his spare time, he cooks for the homeless with the Crew. On paper, he’s pretty perfect. Maybe even too perfect. But he kept calling and calling and calling. The more he called the more I wanted him to leave me the hell alone. He doesn’t deserve that. He should have a girl that actually wants to answer his calls.”
“Well, you’re the girl he wants. Haden showing up to talk to me? That takes balls.”
“I guess, but don’t you think it’s a sign that you’re my best friend and you’re not friends with him?”
“No. He’s in the Crew, just like us. Which means he’s already been vetted. And I’m not in the relationship. That’s just you and him. He really wants to try to see what’s between you two, and you say he’s perfect on paper, so maybe he’s worth another shot?”
Christ. Enough with this already. “Don’t make me feel bad about it. I didn’t feel a connection with him, and I tried. That’s it. It’s over.”
“But did you try? Did you open up to him?” Roan raised his voice over the sounds of the people around us as we moved through a crowded intersection. “Did you tell him about your dad?”
“Are you crazy? No. Of course I didn’t tell him about my dad.” The only people that knew exactly who and what I was were my mother, Roan, and Jorge. Telling Haden was too big of a risk. One I couldn’t afford to take.
“Maybe you should’ve.”
I shrugged off his suggestion. “I just didn’t get that feeling. That click. And I knew I couldn’t tell him the truth.”
“But you told me like five minutes after we met, and I’ve never said anything.”
I glanced at Roan for a second as we waited for the next crosswalk to light up. There were too many people around to really talk openly, but I knew what he meant. Roan could’ve turned me in and become one of the richest people on Earth. The bounty on an average halfer was big enough to set a person up for life. But the bounty on me and my mom? It was astronomical. But he hadn’t turned me in. I’d be shocked if he told me he’d even considered it.
Roan stared at me pointedly, giving me his best see, it’s okay to open up expression. But he was wrong. For me, opening up meant death.
“You’re different. I trust you.” I wasn’t sure what was different about him, but it was a gut feeling. I’d learned the hard way to trust my gut, and it said that hanging out with Haden was okay—he was damned pretty to look at—but nothing more.
“You could always just date me,” he said way too loud, and I laughed. He gave me one of his big, infectious grins.
The light changed, and we started making our way closer to the intersection. Some girl pushed me into Roan as she wove past us. “Aww! Give him a chance. He’s cute!”
I snorted. “Nope. Not happening.” The idea of being with Roan was icky. I didn’t have a sibling by blood, but Roan was more than my friend. He was my brother. He felt the same way, but we hung out so much everyone liked to think we were a couple. It’d turned into an inside joke with us.
Roan cupped his hands around his mouth. “Thanks for the support.” He climbed up the light pole to stand above the swarm of the people moving across the intersection in all directions. “Maybe you could meet me one night? I chill at Starlite every Thursday. It’s iced,” he shouted.
The girl laughed and waved as she disappeared from sight.
Roan looked down at me. “I might have scored a date!”
His grin was infectious. “Dude. You’re living in dreamville. She didn’t even turn to wave at you.”
“No way. I’m so in with her. Trust me.”
I laughed a real, gut-deep laugh for the first time in weeks.
He gasped, pretending to be hurt. “If I didn’t know you as well as I do, I’d be offended right now.”
“That’s why I love you. Now will you get down from there before we get into trouble.” He was attracting way too much attention.
“Don’t worry so much.” He hopped down. “I love you, too. I just wish you could be happy.”
“I’m as happy as I can be given my circumstances.” That had to be good enough.
He dragged me across the intersection as the light changed to yellow.
I jerked my hand from his. Roan knew I didn’t like to break any laws—even jaywalking—but it was already too late. We were the only people in the intersection now and that was bad. I hurried across, dragging Roan behind me.
“Chill out. It’s still yellow,” he said as the light turned to red.
Shit.
