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“Fine, but I’d like to speak to someone about why I’m here.”
“Sit. Stay. If Cosette trained her pet dog well…then we’ll see.”
Pet dog?
It took everything in me to remember that I wasn’t supposed to kill Rayvien. I was surrounded by fey, and acting out now would be beyond dumb. So, I swallowed the insult, even if it burned all the way down.
“I’ll be waiting.” At least I wasn’t out on the dunes without water anymore. Even if I didn’t have any meat, if I ate everything on the table, I might have enough calories to keep my muscle mass stable.
Rayvien moved around the tables, stopping to talk to someone here and there, until she made it to an especially rowdy group of gamblers. I thought she was getting someone for me, but then she slid onto one man’s lap and I knew I’d better settle in.
I grabbed a hunk of bread, and debated which bowl to try first. I took a bite and it was surprisingly delicious and rich. I paused for a few minutes, drinking sips of water while I waited to see if it truly wasn’t poisoned. But when nothing happened, I remembered that the fey didn’t lie. So, I could safely assume that the food on this table was okay to eat. I lost track of time as I shoveled bite after bite after bite into my mouth. Hoping that with each calorie I ate, the wolf would quiet just a little more.
Because he was getting loud about wanting me to hurry up and find Cosette. But I couldn’t do that until I figured out how to break my tie to the Lunar Court. This was going to take some time, but my wolf was an impatient bastard. If he didn’t shut up, I was going to end up losing control and shifting. And if my wolf tried to fight the fey, I knew—without any doubt at all—I would die, and then where would that leave Cosette?
Chapter Four
COSETTE
I was thankful that only Van was waiting in the throne room when I left my mother’s office. He knew me well enough not to say a word. Just a nod before turning toward the exit. The facade I usually kept effortlessly, firmly in place felt as broken as my heart. I tried to hold myself together as we walked in silence to my suite, but it was impossible.
I would get it together. I just needed…I just needed something. But I didn’t know what.
I hadn’t even stepped through the carved wooden doors of my suite before Van ripped into me.
“Are you out of your bloody mind?”
Him shouting at me was the last thing needed. “I don’t think so. At least I wasn’t, but now, I’m quite sure.”
I pushed the door closed behind me and leaned against it. My eyes felt swollen and tender from the tears, but my heart felt worse. Without Chris, without love, without the hope for happiness in marriage, I felt I had nothing left. What was the point?
“Oh, Cosette. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” I couldn’t stand his pity. It wasn’t like I was supposed to enjoy my life here.
I’d never hated my suite more. Never hated court more. Never hated being fey more. I wanted to burn the whole place to the ground, but mother would never let me.
I stared at the enormous flower arrangement placed on top of the tall, oak table in front of me. It served to block the view of the room beyond it—a living room with two doors leading off on either side. One led to my bedroom and bathroom. The other to the dining room and kitchen.
The suite wasn’t large—given my station at court—but I didn’t need anything big. I usually wasn’t here long enough to put a second bedroom to use. My suite didn’t have any magical furniture or glowing walls because I didn’t care about this place enough to invest in or make those kinds of pieces.
But the rooms were decorated nicely. The living room was filled with a beautiful marble-topped coffee table, a comfortable-enough navy couch, and some deep-brown leather armchairs that almost swallowed me whole when I sat in them. A colorful woven rug tied the area together, but it was void of any knickknacks or pictures or anything that would show even an ounce of my personality.
The rest of my suite had all the elements needed for a home, but this wasn’t my home. It was a place I visited when forced. A place where assassins came to kill me. A place that I had absolutely no love for. My true home was in Denver. Where assassins didn’t exist and where loved ones cared about me for who I was, not what I was. But just thinking about Denver made me feel homesick, heartsick, and empty. And this place? This place was my prison.
I rested my head back against the door, staring at the ceiling as I thought. My mother was right. It was for the best that Chris would never come here. Never have to see me in this place. Never have to deal with the court. And from here on out, I had to focus on not thinking about him. At least for a while.
I stepped away from the door and around the ridiculous flower arrangement, fully entering my suite.
Van stood in front of the couch. I liked to circle around the room like a mad person whenever I was the least bit upset, but Van was the opposite. When he was mad, he got very, very still. He’d been my guard for long enough that I knew just by looking at him how mad he was. I was mad, too, but I was also defeated.
Van had given me a moment to catch my breath, but I knew that was going to end soon, just like everything always ended.
Cradled in my arms, the binder felt so impossibly heavy that carrying it for a second longer might shatter what was left of me. And yet, here I was. Holding the damned thing.
“You’re right.”
Van finally unfroze, stepping toward me. “Of course I am. About what?”
