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I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear it, but I wasn’t one to shy away from any challenge. “Tell me.”
Van looked at me with such pity that I was drowning in it, and I wasn’t sure how much more bad news or hard truths I could take.
“Even marrying won’t solve this.”
Apparently, I had to swallow down one more hard truth today. “Why not?” I rested my head against him again, needing some comfort before he told me the rest.
“You have an archon for a father, and you’ve hidden the extent of your abilities from court. We don’t love mysteries. They’re too close to untruths. Any power-hungry fey will be hard pressed to stop themselves from trying to kill you. If not for the power they’d gain by doing it, then for the recognition they’d receive by finally uncovering what and who you truly are.” He grew quiet, but the quiet was filled with the pressure of the words he was holding back. His body had stopped moving with his breaths, and I knew he was doing his best not to say whatever else was on his mind.
“Just say it.” I wasn’t sure it could get much worse, but whatever it was, I needed to hear it.
“Eli is another factor in this whole mess.”
In my mind, Eli could be blamed for a number of things. I’d run into him exactly three times in my life, and I’d barely survived the second time. But I wasn’t so sure that I could put all of this on Eli. “Why exactly?”
“It’s been over a century and a half since this court has gotten wind of an archon, let alone had one visit. That much time was enough for the fey to forget or put aside the mystery of who Cosette Argent is exactly. You’re the queen’s daughter and spy and that was good enough for them for a while. You got to come and go as you pleased, and no one knows Eli was involved with what happened with you at Gales thirty years ago. No one from Gales would talk about it, and you wouldn’t either. Only you and I and your mother know the truth. And the time before that—”
“Was a secret, too.” I hated what Van was saying, but he was right. I stepped away from him.
“But the power Eli gave off when he entered your mother’s throne room a month ago was felt across all the fey realms. Anyone who chose to forget who sired you remembered in that one single moment. And then shortly after, you gained even more power through him.”
“If I gained power, then so did you. Why aren’t assassins after you?”
“I was already a god among the fey.” The confident smirk on his face was annoying. “They’ll never forget who I am or what I can do.”
Of course. Maybe if I pretended to be a god, they’d leave me alone, too.
I moved over to the couch and sank down into the cushions. I’d never met my father, but if he was anything like Eli, I was glad of it. It’d taken me so many years to get the court to forget about me, and now I wasn’t sure I had the patience to play the political games while I waited for them to forget once again. If they ever did. Fey didn’t like to make the same mistake twice.
“Why do they have to constantly test me? I want no part of this. I’ve made that perfectly clear.”
Van sat on the couch, resting his feet on the coffee table as he stretched out beside me. “Because we’re fey. It’s what we do.”
“That doesn’t make it right.”
“And the fact that you think that proves to everyone you’re not entirely fey.”
A while ago, that truth would’ve burned me. My mother was the queen of the strongest court and yet I still wasn’t fey enough. But I’d learned not to care about what anyone thought of me a long time ago. It’d been a hard lesson to learn. The only ones I really cared about were Van, my mother, my friends…and Chris.
The pain of even thinking his name burned the breath from my lungs, but I ignored it. This was going to be my new normal.
I tilted my head to look at Van. “So, what do we do?”
“This is so very tricky.” He glanced over at the body. “We’ve done too much that has angered all of the fey recently—not just our court. All of the fey. If word gets out that the assassination attempts have already started, if we show any weakness at all, then the rest will start circling.”
Suddenly the fact that Eli had Chris was the least of my worries. There were some nasty fey out there that I wanted nothing to do with. The stuff of nightmares. The kind of fey that would make the one that held Meredith captive seem like a pleasant day at the beach.
“If this man hid here with my own guards’ help, at the order of my own brother, then it’s already too late for a cover-up. They’re already after me. That’s what my mother was warning me about. The fey want me dead.” I had a terrible idea. “It might be better to throw the body into the hallway. Screw them and their games. Let them come.”
Van’s slanted smile was pure evil. If he wasn’t on my side, I’d have been afraid. “Are you sure that’s how you want to play it?”
“No, but let’s do it anyway.”
Van wave
d his hand, and the body disappeared. “And now?”
I stared at the binder again. “Shit, Van. Just shit. I’ve waited this long, and I can’t stomach it.” I’d rather face down all the fey than marry someone I didn’t love. I looked at Van, hoping that he’d have something else to tell me. Something to make this easier.
