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Goddammit, Cosette.
I started moving faster and faster and faster until I was sprinting down the halls, following Van’s scent through the twists and turns until I was standing in front of the stone door. Her sobs echoed out into the hallway and I wanted to shake her for doing this. Not just to me, but to herself.
I stood there quietly for a second. Not to catch my breath, but to get my emotions steady. I’d been low then high and I needed to find center so that I could convince her that everything was going to be okay. I was still pissed, but it’d dulled a lot. She was hurting worse over this than I could ever hurt her.
Now, I just had to get inside the room. I wasn’t sure how these doors worked exactly. They seemed to disappear and reappear at will, but not for me.
Van stepped up behind me, placed his hand on the stone, and it slid clear of the doorway.
I gave him a nod, and then stepped into the room. Van closed the door behind me, leaving me alone with Cosette. Finally.
“Honey, I’m home!” I sang.
She sat up not even caring to wipe her face. “What… How are you here? What’s going on? Is that your blood?”
“Eli told Ziriel to reverse it.” I sat next to her on the bed and grabbed her face in my hands. I wasn’t going to let her look away. Not when I needed her to really listen to me. “Please. Don’t ever take away my memories again. It left me feeling empty, like I was ready to die.”
“Oh, God.” She sobbed harder.
“But it’s worse than what you did to me. Taking away my memories means that you’ve given up, and I won’t let you. Ten years ago, you told me that I had to let the desire to live burn like a fire in my gut, and I was lost for a while, but those words… They kept me going. I found that fire eventually, and I fed it. But you’re not? By doing this—by following your mother’s orders—you’re letting it die. Please, don’t give up. Not yet. Not now. So, don’t do that again. Ever.”
Tears fell from her eyes and I brushed them away with my thumbs. I hate that she hurt herself so much while trying to protect me, but she had to understand that she couldn’t ever, ever mess with my head again.
“I won’t do it again.” Her voice was shaky and broken. “It hurt so much worse than I thought it would, and I’m sorry. But I’m so tired and I…”
She didn’t need to tell me she was exhausted. I could see it in the dark circles under her eyes and paler-than-normal skin.
I needed her to understand something and I wanted to make a joke to ease her into it, but there was no easing into this. “You can’t make me forget you without killing half of my soul. You’re my mate, Cosette.”
“I can’t be!” She slapped a hand over her mouth as she jerked away from me. I could almost see the thoughts running through her head as her eyes widened. “Oh, no. I think you’re right. How did I not know?” Her words were muffled behind her hand, and silent tears slipped down her cheeks. “Oh, God. This is a disaster.”
I laughed, because that was the only thing I could do. “Tell me how you really feel about it.”
She slapped my shoulder. “Shut up,” she said while failing to hold back a laugh that was half-sob. “This is bad.”
I knew she didn’t mean to be insulting, and I didn’t take it that way. She was scared. That’s why she’d tried to take my memories away. She didn’t want me to get hurt. If I went home with her today, I would be eaten alive. But I wasn’t going there like this. Not until I broke my tie.
“You’re just going to have to get used to me. You’re stuck.” I gave her a wink and hoped a little joke would help her stop crying. She was already too tired and didn’t need to exhaust herself any more. “Shouldn’
t have agreed to be my friend. Crucial error on your part.”
“No. I feel drawn to you—I always have—but I thought it was just because I’m from the Lunar Court and you’re a werewolf. And then I thought we were friends that were attracted to each other. It…it can’t be more than that. I would’ve known…” She fell onto her back, covering her face with her hands. “Are you sure I’m your mate?”
I scooted to lay beside her on my side. “I’m pretty fucking sure.”
“Shit. This is a disaster.” She spoke through her fingers.
I pulled her hands away from her face. I needed to see her face when we talked.
“What are we going to do?” Her voice had a bit of whine to it, and that was definitely not the Cosette I knew.
“We’re going to be okay, and I’m pretty sure it’s not a disaster.”
She rolled onto her side to face me. Her eyes were so swollen and red. “How?”
I brushed a piece of tear-stained hair away from her face. “Where you go, I go. Simple as that.”
“No. You can’t. The thought of you meeting my mother terrifies me. The things she’d do to you… The things my brother would do. What kind of monster would I be if I allowed that to happen? I just… You can’t—”
