AllFreeNovel
Share Us
My mother winced. “Oh, Cosette.”
I hadn’t said it aloud before. Not ever. And if I didn’t see him again, it would be my greatest regret.
He knew how I felt. Even if I never said the words. I tried to tell myself that he knew, but it wasn’t the same as actually saying the words to him. I was fey. Words were everything to us. And I’d kept them from him.
The pity and disgust that filled my mother’s face was almost enough for me to choke on. She took one single step
toward me and I braced for her words.
“Oh, Cosette. A weak werewolf of all things.” Her pitying tone was like little knives slicing my back.
I wanted to shout at her, but she wasn’t wrong. He was a weak werewolf, and maybe he wasn’t even my weak werewolf. But he was more than that, too. “He sees me and I don’t have to be anything else in front of him. I don’t have to pretend or worry that he might one day stab me in the back. I don’t have to be afraid of who I am or what I say or how I feel when he’s with me. I can just be me, and I am enough for him. Just me. Just me.”
Suddenly, she was holding me against her, and for a moment, it felt right.
“I understand the attraction.” She spoke softly. “I had my own werewolf, but these things never work out. Not with one of them in our court. Not with someone like you, who can influence without meaning to.”
“I know.” I hated it, but I knew. Truly I did. But if I could just get my heart to go along with that…
She ran her fingers through my curls, giving me as much comfort as she could. “Donovan was strong, and it still couldn’t last.”
I knew that, too. Donovan was the strongest, and if he couldn’t keep up with our court when he dated my mother, then no werewolf alive had business trying.
She pulled away from me, but kept a grip on my shoulders, and stared me in the eyes. “I need you to hear me on this. The attempts on your life are about to get a whole lot worse.”
I stepped back from her, breaking her hold on me. “Let them try. I’m far from the child I was.” And if they were going to keep the one thing from me that I wanted, then I had a lot of anger that needed releasing. I’d be happy to focus my wrath on them.
She nodded slowly, as if willing me to be rational on this. “Yes, but you’ve been gone from court for years now.”
“And I’ve maintained my abilities. I’m faster, stronger, and my magic isn’t a small thing anymore. It’s grown over the years.” I had a little gift of foresight. Not as much or as visual as Tessa, but it was enough to give me an edge. That, with the extra speed and strength and my father’s arsenal of enchanted weapons meant I was tough to beat.
“True. True.” She gave me a small shrug. “But you’ll get tired eventually. Sending you away won’t work again. I’m sure you gained even more power from this spell you’ve done, and your enemies want to harvest it.”
There had been a magical high for a few days, but it had faded. I wasn’t sure what that meant. “If I have gained anything, I’m as of yet unaware.”
“Hmm.” She was quiet for a moment, and I wasn’t sure she believed me. I wasn’t sure I believed me either. That kind of magic always came with power. And a cost.
“Even so, it’s time for you to accept your place at court and solidify your power base so that the madness ends once and for all.”
No. Accepting my place here wasn’t something I ever wanted. Having to fight for my right to breathe every day was exhausting. I could do it in small doses, but permanently? Not a chance in hell.
“Look at it this way…” Her grin was back, but I wasn’t sure I was going to agree with whatever she said next. “It’s not as if you have to worry about ruling this bunch.”
I snorted in surprise. “No. Thank the heavens for that.”
“And I thank the heavens I have one child who doesn’t want to compete with me for the throne.”
“True.” I’d rather die than take control. Court was too fraught with drama. Deadly drama. And politics. I couldn’t stand the politics. It was revolting the way the fey acted toward each other. Always with a knife at their friends’ backs. Ready to stab should the need or desire arise.
I think that’s why Chris and I got along so well. His pack had been one of the worst run in history. We both lived our childhood surrounded by violence, and now yearned for a quieter life. I wasn’t sure either of us would ever get it, but we’re both from long-lived races. There was always a chance. I hadn’t managed it yet, but—
I took a breath, and forced myself to think the next thought. Even if it hurt.
But Chris would never have the quiet life he wanted and deserved. Not if I kept pursuing him.
Letting Chris go was like turning my heart to ice and heaving it onto the marble floor. It would shatter into a million tiny pieces. I’d never find all of them before they melted away into oblivion. I’d be broken forever.
A single tear escaped.
