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“They’re demons or something close. Unless that’s a fey thing.”
Maybe I should’ve been insulted, but I wasn’t. “A fey thing?”
He stepped close enough to thread his fingers through my belt loops and yank. “But I know you don’t even eat meat.”
I let my hands rest on his shoulders. “No. I’ve had enough bad meat to turn me off of it entirely. How are you doing?”
“Better. I don’t think it would’ve hit me this hard if I wasn’t so hungry. No amount of cheeses and bread will fill me up the way a nice big steak will. My wolf is off balance.”
“If I remember correctly, the town’s a couple miles down the road. Want to head there first then come back?”
“In a second, I…” He stepped away from me to stand there—really taking in the land for the first time—and it was as if his eyes shut down all emotion. “This place looks worse.” His rasp was deeper than it had been a second ago. It was the only clue I had that this was affecting him at all.
“It does. I didn’t think that was possible—”
Chris huffed out a low laugh. “What should I do with the land?” He turned in a circle.
“I don’t know.” I shrugged because it didn’t really matter to me. This was just land. He could sell it or burn it or he could bulldoze everything and start fresh. But the thing was, he didn’t have to do anything at all. He could leave it for the next fifty years. That he was asking me what I thought about it made me think that he was—maybe for the first time—thinking of what he might want to do with it.
“What’s going through your head right now? What do you think about this land?” He’d gone quiet and it was making me anxious. I was worried about him being back here
“I don’t know. I definitely don’t want to live in any of these buildings. I’m not even sure I want to go inside any of them. Now that I’m feeling better and looking… I think the scents are probably old.” He pointed to something fifty feet away.
“What is that?” I tried to squint to make it out, but there wasn’t anything there.
“Beer can. You can see the glint from the can in the sun. I bet the townies party here.”
“Right. Well, we could tear them all down. Get rid of them.”
“Yeah…”
He didn’t want to tear them down and he didn’t want to live here. I wasn’t sure what was left. When he looked at me, his beard was thicker. Something was wrong.
“What is it? What has you warring with your wolf?”
He closed his eyes and I could feel his pissed off wolf and saw the way his fingers were lengthening…but I needed him human to talk to me. I put my hand on his arm, and sent my magic into him—a little line of cool moonlight to soothe the wolf.
When Chris opened his eyes, they were back to their normal blue. “If I break my tie and we marry, what then? Will you be able to leave the court?”
Marry? God. I hadn’t even really gotten that far, and he had? “Maybe. After a while.” I blew out a breath. “I don’t know. I hope so, but I… It feels like such a stretch that I don’t know if I even want the possibility entering my head. I’m in so much shit for everything that’s happened.”
“None of it was your fault. Your mother has to know that.”
“They don’t care.” I shook my head. “And clearly my mother doesn’t either.” Especially now that I pretty much knew that the last few weeks had been a total manipulation game from her.
He held my hand, and I was glad he was here. My magic might sooth his wolf, but his touch soothed my soul.
“It’s funny. I think I’ve had it easier than you.”
“What? No.” He was so wrong. “I’ve never been beaten, broken, and locked up for days on end with no food or water. I might have assassins coming after me, but I also had Van. My mother gave me guards, and they used to be loyal. I’ll never—” I shut my mouth, hoping to shut down my anger with it, but I’d never forget the way he looked—he smelled—when Van pulled him out of that pit. And now that I knew him—how amazing he was—I just wanted to kill his pack all over again. But slowly this time. So slowly that they’d feel every hurt I’d give them.
I could feel my hands growing hot with the urge to call in my father’s weapons. This kind of anger wasn’t helpful. Not right now. I closed my eyes for a second—feeling the hot rage and letting it go—before I opened them again. “There’s no way that I’ve had it worse.”
“No. The pity can go.” His tone was sharp, and I opened my mouth to apologize, but he stopped me. “Don’t. It’s okay. I’m—”
“Don’t you say that what they did was okay!” He was really starting to piss me off.
“Hey. Calm down.” He pulled me into a hug, running his hand down the back of my head, holding me close. “I’m not saying that, and I’m also not saying what I went through for the first twenty-three years of my life was anything other than absolute shit, but you’ve been alive for longer. With no one except Van to care about you. At least my mother was horrible and is now dead. Everyone who hurt me is dead. But you’re still stuck living in a dangerous place you hate, and you’ll always be under her rule.”
