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Chris took the coin, and placed it in his pocket. “But it could be.”
She looked away from Chris then, staring down at the table. “Maybe, but not in the courts.” A shadow seemed to pass over her and she squeezed her eyes shut.
Chris leaned forward, resting his forearms on the table. “Then maybe your courts are broken.”
Another tear slipped through her glamour. “Maybe.”
The waitress came by with the first tray. “I’ll bring the next plate up when you’re done with this, Mr. Matthews. I didn’t want the food going cold.”
“That’s perfect. Thank you.” Chris gave her a grin that had her tripping over her feet. Poor girl.
Elowen sat straight, eyes wide, hands clasped tightly on the table. “You just—”
“That doesn’t mean what it means to us.” I gripped her arm for a second, hoping she’d take it as a comfort. “When he says it, it’s meant to show gratitude for something, but he isn’t bound to her now.”
Elowen leaned back in her chair. “I’m so confused.”
“It’s okay. I was, too, but now I enjoy it.”
She looked at me again, her brown eyes flecking with emerald green. “But when someone says those words to you?”
“They still hold power. I’m still fey.” I grabbed my fork. “And when we’re done, Van will take us to Gales and then he’ll take you somewhere safe.”
She reached for her glass of water with a shaky hand. “Somewhere that your mother can’t find me would be best.”
“You’ll have to stay with one of us for that,” I said, knowing she probably wouldn’t like the answer. “I think she’s afraid of the new bond we’ve all formed.” I hated that I might have ruined her life. I’d needed help for the spell, and she’d owed me a favor, but now…
“Helen’s very afraid, and with very good reason,” Van said. “We don’t know what it means yet, but your mother’s greatest fear is that someone will end up being more powerful than her.”
Something about that hit me hard, but Elowen spoke again.
“Back to the school then? That’s fine. It was comfortable there.”
Comfortable. That was a nice way of saying she felt good being around the Cazadores. They might not have all the powers of the fey, but their strength and skills were undeniable.
“Okay. That’s settled, then?” I said, and no one answered, which was enough. “Let’s eat.”
“Yes. Please.” Chris didn’t waste any more time before digging in to his food. The mountain of food was nearly gone before I’d eaten more than a couple of bites.
He noticed us watching him. “What? I’m hungry!”
Elowen laughed, softly at first, but when Chris gave her a wink, she laughed harder.
It was nice how he always seemed to know what someone needed in the moment. He was incredibly thoughtful.
He noticed me staring and gave me my own wink. It was silly, but it made me feel safe and loved. Chris was joy. Pure joy. And it pained me when I thought how his family had tried to beat that joy out of him. But then came the pride of knowing someone who could take all that pain, and still be beautiful—inside and out.
I took my first bite and moaned. Food was always better in the mortal realm. I wasn’t sure what they did differently, but the potato had just the right amount of cheese and creaminess. I ate slowly and we chatted about the nuances of being fey with Chris. It was interesting and fun and easy, but the whole time I was eating, I watched Elowen very carefully.
She’d been abused for days by my mother and yet here she was. Sitting. Eating. Not smiling though. I didn’t know much about her, other than that she’d helped me on one of my trips to her court. Not a lot of fey would do that.
We’d talked a bit years ago, and of all the powers in Leaves, she seemed to be the strongest to me. There was a spark of determination in her that I didn’t often see from them. But under it all, I think I must’ve known deep down that she was as broken as the rest of us.
The wounds she’d shown up with were gone, but for her to have brushed it off as quickly as she did? To shake off days of torture from my mother almost like it was nothing and pull that glamour up so quickly? This was something that she was used to doing. It wasn’t the first time she’d been hurt.
And then I started to think of my mother. I’d always thought she was helping me. That underneath it all, she had my best interests at heart. But looking at tortured Elowen and supposed husband-material Van, I wondered if my mother’s motivations in every interaction—and her plans for me—were just for her own benefit. Did she send me away to spy to dampen my power? Had I been stunted from growing, the same way Chris was hiding his wolf?
Chris rested his hand on my knee and squeezed. “You okay?”
