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She stands and walks around the table. “You’re caught up in your anger and your pain. I understand, and I wish I could take it away, but that doesn’t change the fact that I know you still care about her.” With her mug in hand, she heads for the back door. “You know the truth now. You’re the only one who gets to decide how you use it.”
Before she leaves, I ask, “What about kids?” Fuck, why’d I even ask?
Looking back at me, she smiles. “What about them?”
“Just tell me.”
“No,” she replies, shaking her head. “No kids.” Pushing the screen door open, she leaves, the door slamming shut behind her.
Delilah Rae Noelle isn’t married. Not having any kids also surprises me. I don’t have anything against the little humans. I dated a woman with two cute ones. But it takes a lot to step into the dad role. I wasn’t ready to settle down at twenty-three, and the job ended, so I had to go. But I find some serious satisfaction that the world is safe, for now, from Cutler’s offspring.
Despite the adrenaline rushing through my veins in an attempt to move my feet toward that door and drive out to the farm, my grip on the counter tightens. “No. I can’t get tangled up when I’m here to untangle some of the mess I’ve made of my life.”
Why am I talking to myself? Fuck. This town is already messing with my head. I grab a few more bites of breakfast, shove my list into my back pocket, and head out to the bike.
My mom comes out and tries to hand me money. “Here.”
Folding her hand closed, I say, “I don’t need your money. Keep it. You’ve been getting the money I sent, right?”
“Yes, and about that, I have it saved in a box hidden in the house.” She shifts with a tilt of her head. “It’s yours. Not mine.”
“No, it’s yours. That’s why I sent it.” I swing my leg over the seat and settle into the leather while righting the bike.
“Honey, I don’t need your money.”
“Save it for retirement then.”
Taking a step back, she eyes my bike. “That motorcycle looks expensive. Harleys aren’t cheap. I’ve worried a lot about you over the years, but do I need to worry about this?”
“No. I’ve done okay the past couple of years,” I reply, trying to avoid what I’ve really been doing. “I wouldn’t bring trouble to your doorstep. I’m heading down to General Hardware to get a few things.”
“You might want to take the truck then.” She walks to the garage and punches in a code. The door slides up, and there’s my old truck. “You’re not going to be able haul more than a few nails on that Harley.”
She’s right. I move it to the side out of the way and get off. Tossing me the keys, she says, “You can charge everything to my account there. I’m sure Fred will remember you.”
He’ll remember me all right. He busted Cole, Billy, and me stealing a tractor to joyride through the fields one night. Deputy Whaley let us go after a few hours, saying he was tired of our laughing. We were disturbing the peace of the jail. Coach came down to haul us to the field that night and worked us hard until the sun hit high noon. We’d dropped and lay there until my mom and Delilah showed up with turkey sandwiches and water, giving us just enough energy to get our sorry asses home. I pulled the drunk card.
Bad move on my part.
I was grounded for a week—no after-school fun, no phone, and no Delilah—and learned my lesson. Don’t be a dick and don’t screw up. Stay on the right side of the law, although that one didn’t sink in the way it should have when I reflect on the past few years of my life.
An hour later, I have everything loaded into the back of the truck and pay Mr. Carver for the supplies. There’s no way in hell I’m sticking my mom with this bill.
“Say hi to your mom,” he says.
I give him a glare similar to the one I’ve used with the guys right before they were fucked up for whatever offense they committed against my former clients. Getting into the truck, I’m about to leave when Billy shows up in his beat-up old Dodge and parks next to me. With my window down, I say, “I can’t believe that old clunker still runs.”
He gets out and leans on the open window of my truck. “Yeah, she’s sweet when she wants to be.”
“Sounds a lot like Lou. How is Lorraine these days?”
“Married to some accountant two towns over.”
Shaking my head, I shift into park. “I always thought you guys would make it.”
“Some could say the same about you and Delilah.”
