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“We all are, dear, we all are. Take care.” She sighed.
“Bye-bye,” I whispered and hung up.
This was so unreal. I felt like a grief-stricken damsel in a made-for-TV movie. My thoughts went around in circles.
Why would Randy’s heart just give out? It’s all my fault. Maybe if I would have let him go a little easier he wouldn’t be . . . I can’t say it. He should have just found someone else. They usually do. Oh, gosh, I gotta call Saundra first thing in the morning and tell her before that lady calls her.
I figured that Randy had told everyone that I dumped him. I just couldn’t tell that lady my real name because I didn’t want any angry family members to kick my ass.
His big-ass sister, Velma, was 300 pounds of black woman that I didn’t want to deal with.
The next morning it was hard to get out of bed. I decided to take the next couple of days off to clear my head and deal with this. It didn’t matter anyway because my boss was somewhere tanning in St. Croix with his mistress. I know because we took the same “business trip” a couple of years ago. Yes, he would scream at me since our department was so short-staffed, but I’d deal with that when it happened.
Saundra’s phone rang repeatedly and I was just about to give up when someone picked up.
“Peace,” a male voice answered groggily.
“Hey, Yero. Is Saundra there?”
“Hold on,” he said with a tinge of annoyance. I heard Saundra clearing her throat.
“Hello?” she asked with a crack in her voice.
“It’s me, girl. I have something to tell you
,” I said.
“What’s the matter?”
“You’re not going to believe this but . . .”
“Yeah . . .”
“Randy had a heart attack,” I said, feeling weak again.
“That’s not funny, Asha,” she said, sounding angry.
“I’m not joking, Saundra. Randy is dead.”
“You serious?”
“I can’t believe it either. His cousin told me . . . and it’s all my fault,” I said with tears welling up in my eyes.
Saundra was silent and I felt ten times worse that she didn’t dispute my last remark. As the water continued to flow down my cheeks, I could sense that Saundra’s silence showed her immense sadness and disgust for me.
“Asha, this is terrible, but I knew one day something like this was going to happen. You use people until you’re satisfied and then dump them like trash. It was just a matter of time before disaster struck.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt anyone,” I said, wiping my nose with a tissue.
“So closing the door in someone’s face after they tell you they love you is not painful. I see,” she scoffed.
I shut my eyes tight and frowned from the pain of hearing my crime.
Saundra sucked her teeth and sighed heavily. “All I have to say is that if you don’t change your ways now, I don’t want to deal with you anymore because that shows you have no heart at all. Randy’s death is definitely a message for you to reevaluate yourself and clean the worms out of the pot that is your shallow little mind.”
Normally I wouldn’t have taken that kind of abuse but I felt it was necessary; I deserved every bit of her tongue-lashing. My chest was heaving and I could hardly breathe because of the mucus in my throat.
“I know,” I said softly.
