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“Yero? Coming here? Why?”
“Probably to talk you into getting us back together but I’m telling you right now that I don’t want to hear it.”
“Fine. No skin off my back.”
“Asha, you’ve been right all along.”
“About Yero?”
“About all men. Fuck them all.”
She slammed the phone down in my ear.
It was such a relief to hear Saundra sounding like herself again. The old Saundra from high school, the one who used to scratch up faces and hit people over the head with bottles and shit.
All this earth mother stuff is just a mask for the tough girl she’s always been. I’m n
ot saying that it’s acceptable for a grown woman to act out like she used to when she got frustrated, but in a way, it was refreshing to hear the old Saundra’s voice and not that of Lao Tzu or Iyanla Vanzant. Evelyn was the one who told her to learn to “channel her strength” with meditation, chanting, affirmations and all that other bullshit. That’s fine if that is who a person is, but Saundra was never like that. She was always the one out of the two of us that faced things head on without the gloss. I always admired her bluntness but when she started trying to be someone she wasn’t, things got weird. The funny thing is, she never stopped being up front with me—just with herself.
If Saundra is beginning to wake up out of her yoga zone, then I feel sorry for Yero because he hasn’t seen rage yet.
I knew Yero was going to end up full of shit because all those so called “righteous brothers” are. All they do is talk shit about uplifting the race, grow their dreads, sport militant T-shirts and don’t end up doing shit.
Dante used to wear those leather medallions back in high school, the ones with the continent of Africa painted red, black, and green with a gold lion in the center. Sometimes he wore several of them at the same time and had the nerve to blast Gang Starr, Poor Righteous Teachers and Brand Nubian all the time, and look what he did to his so-called “African Queen.”
If he had done that to the old Saundra, she would have castrated him like I should have.
Chapter 35
SAUNDRA
After throwing Nick out and calling my sister, I decided to shower and then find an organic food store. There was nothing in Asha’s refrigerator that I would even consider putting in my mouth.
The phone rang several times and the Caller ID let me know that it was Phil, then Evelyn calling from her car, then Phil, then Evelyn two more times.
Phil could go to hell with his nasty ass but I would return Evelyn’s call when I get back.
The cold air felt good and helped clear my head as I wove in and out of all the side streets on my way to the open market a few blocks away. I grabbed a shopping cart and started throwing healthy food into it: prickly pear extract, six-grain bread, tofu, vegan pizza dough, eight Roma tomatoes, coarse salt, veggie burgers, soy milk, vegan maple syrup, Rapadura whole organic sugar, Gimmie Lean sausage, Vegemite gravy, soy milk, vegan banana pancakes, un-chicken broth, Almost cheese, Just like chicken, brown rice and non-dairy ice cream.
On the walk back, I realized that although the truth about Phil’s sexuality had stunned me beyond belief, it wasn’t what hurt the most. Being gay goes against the laws of nature but it isn’t evil.
What really hurt was the way he and Hugo had deceived both me and Evelyn for all these years.
Chapter 36
EVELYN
I feel exhausted. Sick of Mama asking me what the matter is and sick of pretending to be sick so I don’t have to go to work. Sick of thinking about Phil, Saundra, and Hugo. Sick of wondering how I’m going to make the retreat happen because I would never take money from Phil for anything now. You can’t build a wellness center with funds from the devil.
So I’ve come to see Saundra. She will know that it is a good-bye without me having to say so. She will notice that my skin, normally the color of butterscotch, is now a blotchy, sickly stale butter. She will see the slight bend to my shoulders, which wasn’t there before, and she will know that I have to get far far away from here.
I told Saundra that I would come over around noon.
When she opened the door, there was a new set to her jaw, determination in her eyes and the youngish enthusiasm was gone. In a way, it was comforting to know that Saundra had grown up—albeit the hard way—and would be able to take care of herself from now on.
I said hello, managed a smile and we hugged.
She started talking as soon as our butts hit Asha’s leather sofa.
