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Looking back, it was a diabolical plot and it would serve me right if Evelyn emptied every bullet out of her gun into my heart.
I miss Saundra but she won’t return my calls and I’m not putting my business on paper, so sending a letter is out of the question. A whole lot of people are in jail right now because they like writing letters—letters of apology, letters of confession, letters of need, want, hate.
Sometimes, I sit across the street from Asha’s apartment building in an unmarked car watching Saundra go in and out. I’ve thought about just walking up to her and demanding that she hear me out but I don’t have the right to make any demands of her.
I decided to go through Asha. She agreed to meet with me but insisted that Yero join us too. At first I said no. I mean, who wants to discuss this type of shit with another man at the table. When I said no, Asha hung up the phone without another word. So now we’re doing this her way.
I had to laugh when she laid out her terms: The meeting was to take place at some restaurant in Manhattan and dinner plus drinks were on me. I got there fifteen minutes early, scoped out the place and took a seat way in the back near the kitchen door. No-man’s land. Far from the other customers who would not be able to overhear our conversation.
She glided in wearing a pants suit that probably cost more than I made in a month. The woman was the spitting image of her mother—physically that is. Their personalities could not have been more different. If Lola had had even a quarter of Asha’s self-confidence and bring-it-straight-or-don’t-bring-it-at-all braggadocio, she would be alive today. And Yero . . . he looked lost.
“How are y’all doing?” I asked after they sat down.
They both just glowered at me, saying nothing.
I motioned toward a waitress.
“Is anybody drinking?”
“I don’t want anything to eat or drink,” Yero said crisply. “Just tell me what happened between you and Saundra. Then I’m outta here.”
Asha picked up a menu. “I’ll have a cosmopolitan. Also the French onion soup.”
It was all I could do not to smile. Asha would always be primarily about Asha.
I knew that if I had a drink of anything alcoholic, the meeting would turn into a disaster. Yero clearly wanted to take a swing at me and if I wasn’t a cop, he would have done it already. Sober, I was willing to take one punch. Drunk, I would hurt the poor boy.
“I’ll have a ginger ale and a steak, well done, with the rice pilaf.” I said.
We all stared at each other.
“Talk man,” Yero growled.
“Okay, but I need you to hear me out. From beginning to end. I’m about to go way back. To a place called Dayton, Ohio.”
They looked at each other and then back at me.
I took a deep breath and started with the story of Willie, the little boy I liked in the first grade.
By the time the food arrived, I was telling them both about my early days in New York, right before I took the police exam.
Asha looked shocked. I couldn’t read Yero’s expression.
When the waitress left, I threw my hands up in exasperation. “Will one of y’all say something?”
“What does all this have to do with Saundra?” Yero asked.
There was nothing to do but continue. By the time I got to the part where Saundra walked in on me and Hugo, the steak in front of me was cold. Asha had downed two more drinks and Yero’s expression had softened.
“And now I’ve lost the only family I had left.”
Yero shook his head. “Saundra still loves you, man. She just had you up on a pedestal and you fell off. It’s a shame that it had to come out like that. You should have told her the truth a long time ago. In fact, she should have grown up knowing the truth about you.”
Asha shook her head. “I just cannot believe that I’ve been through all this bullshit just because you and Hugo turned out to be gay. It’s unbelievable! Saundra’s supposed to be all about people accepting each other for who they are. She’s supposed to be Miss Peace and Love! To tell you the truth, I feel like kicking her crybaby ass. What a hypocrite!”
“Ah, the sounds of compassion,” I said dryly.
Asha wiped her mouth and pushed back her chair. “That’s real fucked up what you did to Evelyn, man. I’ll save my compassion for her.”
