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He agreed. “Great idea. I want to know all about your life, and I’m sure you have a million questions for me. So, we each get to ask three questions. First you, then me, and so on. Okay?”
Adrienne’s stomach tightened. There was no way she was going to talk about Delilah. “I’ll go first,” she said cheerfully.
“Okay.”
“How is Noney, and the rest of your sisters?”
His face looked pained. “I don’t know, Adrienne.”
“You haven’t found them yet?” Adrienne asked, astonished. “Have you thought about hiring a private detective to find them?”
He hesitated. “Yes, but there is something very important to consider before I could take such a step.”
Adrienne wondered what could be more important in life than finding your family, but Lloyd looked so upset that she decided not to pursue the subject. “Your turn.”
“All right. Tell me why you opted for corporate life instead of the bright lights of stardom.”
Adrienne shook her head. That would take more than a lunch date to explain. She still couldn’t explain it to herself. “I didn’t decide on corporate life,” she began. “I tried to make it as a singer and failed. Corporate life seemed like the most sensible alternative.”
The waiter arrived with their drinks, and they sipped quietly for a few moments before Lloyd wiped his mouth delicately. “Hmmm,” Lloyd said, “I’m surprised.”
“Surprised about what?” Adrienne asked, intrigued.
“You. It’s just that it’s not like you to give up.” Adrienne didn’t respond. “I remember when I was tutoring you in math. You didn’t let anything stop you, no matter how hard or difficult it was to you. You were focused. And optimistic. That’s what I liked most about you. And your beauty.”
“Seventeen years is a long time to try anything,” Adrienne said, blushing.
“Is it?” Lloyd stared at her, his brown eyes seeming to stroke her skin. Adrienne shifted in her seat.
“I believe the ball is in your court.”
“Okay.” She thought for a moment. “What really happened that last weekend?”
After a strained silence, a silence filled with dread and desire, Lloyd began to speak.
“On the morning after graduation, I left the bedroom that I shared with my older sister Noney and went into the kitchen. Noney was toasting bread and trying to make sure that each slice received a scrap of butter, since it was almost gone and there was no money to buy more. She also had a pot of water boiling with our last three teabags in it. Breakfast for the brood is what she called the meal.”
Lloyd smiled bitterly before continuing. Adrienne lowered her eyes. “Poor Noney,” she said. Lloyd nodded in agreement.
“Noney’s hands were shaking as she apologized to me because she and the rest of the brood had missed my graduation. There wasn’t enough carfare, you see. I comforted her and went to get my other sisters in order. They were fighting over who would get to use the bathroom first. I barked out orders at them until they were all washed and sitting at the kitchen table. I kept watching Noney as she ate, wondering why her hands were shaking and why her face looked even sadder than usual. After cleaning up the kitchen for her, I made the younger children go outside so I could find out what was going on.”
Lloyd took a deep breath. Adrienne sat very still.
“The news stunned me. Unless we could produce a mother within forty-eight hours, the authorities were going to step in and split us up. Worse, Noney and Pam were both in the early stages of pregnancy.” Adrienne’s eyes widened at this news. They were both so young—and alone. “I was suddenly sick and tired of the whole lot of them. I felt a sudden, violent hatred for my promiscuous mother. I had to get out of the house. Without saying another word to Noney, I set out to walk to your house in Manhattan.”
His lips went down at the corners and his face creased into a frown. When he spoke again it was through clenched teeth. “I hated it when you insisted on returning home with me. For years, I remembered the look of shock and disgust on your face when you saw my living conditions. It stripped me of the last of my pride. When you gave me the money to buy food, I wanted to toss it back in your lap, but that would mean no food for the rest of the weekend, and I couldn’t do that to my sisters.
Especially since two of them were pregnant. So I took it.”
The waiter came to the table with their food, but by that time Adrienne’s appetite was gone. She hadn’t realized Lloyd felt like that, and from the bitter tone of his voice, it didn’t seem as though his pain had lessened over the years. She felt ashamed. She didn’t mean to hurt him. She was only trying to help. Lloyd stared down at his plate of salmon, and his voice dropped to a whisper. Adrienne had to lean forward to hear the rest of the story.
“I had not planned to seduce you. I just needed someone to hold me. When you didn’t say no to my advances, I was very surprised. When we were making love, I believed that you were really in love with me. I thought that we could go through college together and build a life. We could get married, have fun, raise a real family, and love each other just like your parents did. The fantasy blew up in my face as I walked you back to the subway. You made a remark that wasn’t about love at all. I can’t remember your exact words, but it was clear that what we’d just shared was “pity sex.” My beloved Adrienne had given up her virginity because she felt sorry for me. I wanted to die.”
Waves of emotion washed over Adrienne. She cried softly into her napkin.
“After kissing you good-bye, I went back to the apartment. It was crawling with cops and official-looking folks who separated me from my sisters. All of us were taken away. I haven’t seen my family since.
“Don’t cry,” Lloyd said. “The past is gone, and I’m a long way from that.”
