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“Adrienne,” he spoke to her bowed head. “Every mother gets tired of her child once in a while. Escaping from a crying infant for a few hours didn’t make you a bad mother. It means you were a good one. Do you know how many women are in jail for child abuse? Women who probably would not have snapped if they weren’t under so much pressure?”
Adrienne had never thought of her longing to get away from Delilah that dreadful day as a sign of good parenting. It was a remarkable notion, and when she met Lloyd’s eyes and saw that he meant it, a gigantic weight fell off her slim shoulders.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Mel walked through the back alley, rang the bell, and waited in front of the glass so the barmaid could see his face clearly. A cinnamon-colored, oval-shaped face stared at him for a moment and then disappeared. The door remained closed. Mel rang again. After five minutes, the same face reappeared. “My sister, Debra, works here,” Mel shouted. He banged on the door for emphasis. The face disappeared, and then a new pair of eyes appeared in the glass, angry eyes that turned soft when they recognized him. The door swung open. It was the guy with the handheld metal detector. “Hey, man, you tryna catch a bullet or what?”
Mel followed him down the short, dark hallway and dropped his switchblade in the box. “Naw, man. Just wanna drink like everybody else. Who is the new hoochie that was just at the door?”
The man shrugged. “Think her name is Jane or some shit like that. How you been?”
“I’m all right.” Mel waved good-bye and walked down the short flight of steps, through the second door, and into the bar. He blinked to adjust his eyes to the dimness. The place was packed. There was no empty stool, so he stood at the bar, waiting for Debra to notice him amid the waving, shouting, singing, and laughing customers.
Debra finally spotted him and smiled. “I know what you drinkin’,” she yelled in his direction. “One rum and Coke comin’ up!”
He squeezed himself in between the folks on the stools. When Debra placed the glass in front of him, he drank its contents straight down without stopping. “Give me another one.”
“Damn! What’s wrong with you?”
Mel wanted to say “everything,” but there were too many other men around. He would come off sounding like some kind of punk. He shrugged off her question, but she wouldn’t be put off so easily. “You need something, Mel?”
Hell yeah, he needed a whole lotta shit. Like somebody to talk to about the drugs that kept calling him. He needed a place to stay since it was just a matter of time before Adrienne threw him out in the street. He needed a preacher to go to God for him and ask how much more bad luck he had to suffer through before his debt to all those women he had wronged was paid in full. He needed to hit the lottery so he could pay off his wife’s bills and wipe away that worried crease on her forehead. He needed his sister to come out from behind the counter and tell him everything was going to be all right. Most of all, he needed somebody to tell him why he felt so scared and lost inside.
But the bar was crowded. Debra put two more drinks in front of him and went to serve some other customers.
In the end, Mel didn’t even get a
chance to talk to his sister. She kept him supplied with drinks as she worked the busy bar. Finally, he gave her forty dollars and staggered home.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Charlene answered her phone on the first ring.
“Can you do my hair?”
“Now?”
“It’s okay if you can’t do it.”
“No. Come on over.”
The evening temperature was balmy, so Adrienne decided to walk the fifteen blocks to her brother’s house. She was surprised to see that a photo of Dan and Charlene, which had been taken in Hawaii on their honeymoon, was now blown up to a gigantic size and hung on a living room wall. The expression on their faces made Adrienne want to weep. She and Mel used to look at each other like that.
“When did you do that?” Adrienne gestured at the picture.
“About two weeks ago,” Charlene said proudly. “Doesn’t it look great?”
“Yeah.”
Charlene started bustling about, gathering her hairdressing gear. Adrienne followed her as she pulled some towels from the linen closet.
“Look, Charlene, I’m really sorry about what happened the last time I was here. I’ve been too embarrassed to call and tell you that.”
Charlene turned around, her arms filled with towels and her eyes warm with concern. “I know that, honey. How is Mel?”
“I haven’t been speaking to him and I can tell that it’s driving him crazy.”
“That’s not the answer, and you know it.”
