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‘That’s not what this is about!’ But Leandro had the grace to flush darkly.
‘Of course it is!’ She began walking towards the sea but then, as though compelled, she turned back to glare at him, her arms folded, her body rigid with tension.
This was not a place meant for arguing. It was too breathtakingly beautiful. And she didn’t want to argue. In fact she didn’t even want to think about the fact that Paradise would only be theirs for a few more short days.
‘You go out with women and when you tire of them you move on. You’re annoyed because you’re not ready to move on quite yet!’
‘I’m frustrated because I see a woman on the verge of throwing her life away...’
‘And, like any decent knight in shining armour, you want to save me from my fate? Is that it? You just want to set me on the right path? You’re being one hundred per cent altruistic with no hidden agenda at all...?’
‘My agenda is anything but hidden,’ Leandro drawled, and the hot intensity of his dark eyes made the blood rush to her face. ‘Can you honestly tell me that you want this to end the second we step foot on British soil? Can you honestly tell me that that’s even possible?’
‘Of course it is. We’re just having a... This is just a...a...dalliance...’
Leandro looked at her in silence for a long time. Finally he shrugged. ‘So be it.’
He began unpacking the picnic hamper, laying things out on the rug which had been provided by the hotel. As always, they had prepared a feast. There was chilled wine, but after a brief hesitation he ignored that and went for the bottled water instead.
‘So be it?’
The conversation felt as though it had been killed off ahead of schedule. Was that it? A shrug of the shoulders and onward bound?
‘I think it’s time we ate, and then we’ll head back to the island.’
He tucked into one of the sandwiches and poured himself some water. He wasn’t looking at her, but out of the corner of his eye he could see her wary stance, the tense set of her shoulders, the stubborn line of her full mouth.
‘Sure.’
‘And you can consider your contract with my company terminated as from the second we get back to the UK.’
‘What—what are you talking about?’ Emily stammered. She sat down on the rug, legs crossed, and stared at the array of food—none of which she felt like eating.
‘I’m saying that there will be no need for you to work out the remainder of your notice. You will be free to go as soon as we are off this island. And for the rest of the time that we’re here we’ll focus exclusively on what we came here to do. Work.’
‘And all this just because I won’t do as you say?’
When she stared at the sandwiches and fruit laid out in front of her she saw instead a progression of empty, Leandro-less days stretching out as far as the eye could see.
She blinked the disturbing vision away. She was set on a certain course and there was no getting off it. And it would be great not having to work out her notice. Wouldn’t it? She would be free to get on with the rest of her life, putting in place the necessary things that had to be done...
‘We can... I realise you don’t understand why I’m doing what I’m doing, why I’m going ahead with... Well, things are never neatly explained away...’ She heard herself fumbling with her words, tripping over excuses she couldn’t give him, and she flushed at the cynical twist of his mouth.
‘I mean...’ She reached out, dry-mouthed, and placed her hand on his.
A world without Leandro felt, right now and right here, like a very bleak and empty world. But she knew that that wouldn’t last. She was caught up in a bubble where normal reactions and day-to-day reality were suspended. The second she was back on home ground what she felt would vanish like mist on a summer’s day, but for now why couldn’t she just reach out and bring him back to her, back to the place where they were as one...?
Whatever he had said, and however disappointed he claimed to be with the choices she was making, surely what they had was so strong that he would not be able to resist the temptation to take this through at least until they left the island? Surely she wasn’t alone in wanting that?
‘I really don’t think so...’
Leandro politely removed her hand and Emily licked her lips and stared at him, mortified at the rejection.
‘We’re attracted to one another,’ she said shakily. ‘You said so yourself...’
‘We are... But I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m no longer willing to take what’s on offer—not with the baggage involved...’
He had barely tasted what he had eaten. He crumpled the foil in which the sandwich had been wrapped and tossed it into the open cooler, then looked at her coolly.
‘For me, this hasn’t run its course. But I have no intention of following it through for a couple more days until you go running back to your cuckolded fiancé...’
It would have been impossible for Emily to have gone any redder.
‘So you’re giving me an ultimatum? Leave Oliver or else things go back to how they were before we came here...?’
She blinked back tears of hurt and rejection. She should be angry with him for his double standards, for his wanting her to adapt her whole life to suit him when he would not have done likewise for her.
‘Throw in my marriage for the sake of a few weeks of fun with you...?’
‘Who said anything about it lasting a few weeks? Could be less...could be more...’
‘And I’m honestly supposed to sacrifice my future for “could be less...could be more...”?’
‘If you could convince me that this future of yours wasn’t worth sacrificing then we wouldn’t be having this conversation now. In fact I’m presuming that if this future of yours was that meaningful we wouldn’t have ended up in bed in the first place...’
He stood up and without the slightest hint of embarrassment flung the towel aside and put on the swimming trunks which he had discarded the minute they had reached the island.
Without looking at him, Emily began clearing away the remains of what they had eaten. Most of it was left and she hoped that the chef wouldn’t be upset. The fact was that she couldn’t have had another bite if her life had depended on it.
She didn’t know what else to say. He had withdrawn from her, and that was evident in his cool politeness as they packed their things away in silence and the boat went back to the main island, likewise in silence.
Her sporadic attempts at conversation were met with a detachment that chilled her to the bone.
So this was what it felt like, she thought with despair. This was what love felt like. She had fancied herself in complete control of the situation and had thrown herself wholeheartedly into an affair on the assumption that snatching a couple of weeks of undiluted happiness would have no lasting consequences. She wasn’t made for falling in love and yet it had ambushed her from behind. Life without Leandro was like staring down the barrel of a gun.
She sat on her hands because she was so tempted to reach out and touch him. When had all her defence mechanisms fallen by the wayside? When had lust turned into love? She couldn’t pinpoint a moment in time. She just knew that she would have to grab what was on offer and run with it or else live a life of regret, and she didn’t think she had the strength to live with regret. It would not make a happy companion.
The minute they were back at the hotel, after the longest boat ride and Jeep drive in her entire life, he picked up some polite threads of conversation. She thought that it was purely to accommodate the fact that there were other people around them now—people who had cheerfully accepted the relationship between boss and secretary and would have been curious had they witnessed its breakdown first-hand.
But she was miserably aware of the change in him. The safety of the future she had planned now seemed as flimsy as a wisp of smoke. So much would have been sorted with this marriage, so many problems solved, and everything would have been fine had she had her heart intact. She would have entered into it as the business proposition both she and Oliver had agreed on.
Now she knew that any such business proposition was just not meant to be, and for a few seconds she was furious with Leandro for throwing everything out of kilter.
He had tossed her a carrot and it wasn’t even a very good one. A few weeks—maybe longer, maybe not—of having fun in bed and then he would be off, in search of another playmate.
He promised nothing because he had nothing to give, and whilst she appreciated the honesty she resented the fact that in the end he could wield such power over her. She resented the fact that her ammunition had been so shockingly incomplete. She resented the love that was burning a hole through her.
He turned to her when they were briefly out of earshot of any of the attendant staff. ‘Feel free to dine tonight in your room. I have things I need to catch up on and I shall probably be busy for the remainder of the day and this evening.’
