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“I think we’re more than friends.” My heart is hammering as he steps closer to me. “But I also thought you were dead and . . .” It really sucks that retrocycling doesn’t let me change the past because I would like to avoid everything I have to say now. “. . . I started connecting with Wyatt. He’s not my boyfriend, but we’ve been bonding since I got here and I’m even thinking about becoming a Halo Knight. It’s not like the world is going to forget my face after I give up my powers, so I might as well keep doing some good.” He takes a step back and I want to grab his hand, but that’s not right. “I’m sorry.”
“For what? You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I feel like I did.”
Ness shakes his head. “You thought I was dead, and even then, you’ve never owed me anything. But I am interested in how you feel now that you know I’m alive.”
I’ve had so many regrets these past few weeks, so many things I wish I had done and said. “I want to get to know you better. Not just who you’ve become because of this war, but who you were before it and who you want to be when it’s done.”
“If it ever ends,” Ness says.
“I’m going to make sure of it,” I say, shaking a Starstifler. “I want to make sure you never have to hide your beautiful face ever again.?
?
Ness smiles. “Beautiful, huh? You’ve come a long way from only being able to say my face is solid.”
“I’m trying to have fewer regrets. Life’s heavy enough.”
“What do you want to know about me?”
There’s so much, but I start simple. “How’d you choose your name?”
“It’s the name of a star in the Cloaked Phantom. It’s the dimmest star in that constellation, and that’s what I liked about it. I’ve been growing up with a lot of eyes on me since my mom was killed, and my classmates thought my life was flashy because I was working all those political circuits. This power was finally going to give me some discretion to figure out who I wanted to become.” He takes my hand in his. “Things took a turn with all the Blood Casting, but I can’t get too upset since it led me to you too. Maybe one day when everything settles we’ll get to morph into something together, firefly.”
The way he calls me firefly and gently brushes my palm has me blazing inside. He’s reading my face, like he knows how successfully he’s seducing me with his touch. I’m not fighting it. I’m pushing away all my guilty thoughts about the Halo Knight I first kissed while flying on a phoenix because Ness is back from the dead and I want to stoke these flames for once in my life.
I put my hand on his heart, and it’s beating as fast and hard as mine.
My lips practically fly to his, and I kiss the shape-shifter who has always found me beautiful because of who I am and has never wanted to change me. He’s kissing me back, taking charge as he picks me up and sets me down beside the cauldron. My palms are on his cheeks as his tongue slowly slides across mine. I’m not ready to strip down to nothing yet but I take off my shirt and I don’t ask him to keep his eyes closed this time. I’m hoping everything I’ve thought about him is right, that he’s not about to be disappointed by what he finds underneath. He smiles even though I don’t have a single ab in sight, like seeing more of me is enough to make him happy. He removes his own shirt and presses his bare chest against mine, and it’s the first time I’ve ever been flesh to flesh with someone like this. Our bodies have been through so much before this point, and maybe, one day, our bodies are going to go through some really great things together.
However long I live in this lifetime, this moment is something I’ll never forget.
Seventy-Six
Family
NESS
This is the safest I have felt in weeks.
Firefly’s embrace is everything and I want our lips and bodies to stay locked.
I’m not stressing over the Halo Knight, especially since I don’t know their business. I’m keeping my attention on Emil, who’s haunted me so much that I’ve woken up in his form and I wonder how that will change if I get to hold him when I finally get to fall asleep after this hellish night of being shot and hunted in the Bounds.
There’s shouting in the hallway and the first thing I hear is “Pru, just talk to me!”
Emil breaks our kiss. His tired hazel eyes widen. “Brighton and Prudencia are back,” he says, putting on his shirt.
His brother is always getting in the way of things.
I get dressed too and follow him out of the lab.
“Hey!” Emil calls.
Prudencia stops. “Great. Emil, take over. I just spent an hour in the car with your brother while he tried to justify murder.”
Probably best for Emil not to mention what he’s been up to.
