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Two hospitals, one verdict. I’m as good as dead.
“Where’s Emil?”
“You can see him soon,” Dr. Salinas says. “I want to give you a fresh wrap on your arm to avoid infection.”
“I want to see my brother now!”
They back off and leave to get Emil.
This brings me back to Dad’s funeral. Emil and Ma really went for it with their eulogies, but it felt impossible to remember the good after watching Dad die. Then one minute I was in the front row while Dad’s boss at the Lucille Barker Theater shared a few words and the next I was standing at the podium with Emil at my side. I couldn’t stop talking about what I miss already: Dad singing along to songs in Spanish that only Ma understood; asking him to quiz me on prep work so I could see him smile as I answered everything correctly; inviting me and Emil on grocery runs; how he never settled for one-word responses when asking about our day.
I was keeping it together while others delivered their eulogies, but I lost my mind when Dad’s doctor was behind the podium and expressing his regrets. During all that time in the hospital, Dr. Queen was always so appreciative of Emil’s kind nature and patience, but I was a nightmare to anyone, especially Dr. Queen, who stood in my way when I wanted to see Dad. At the funeral, I let him have it one last time, even though Emil and Prudencia begged me to calm down for Ma’s sake if no one else. But I didn’t stop until I chased Dr. Queen out of the funeral home, blaming him for putting Dad through that clinical trial that killed him sooner.
I decide what I do with my remaining time. No one else.
It’s not long before there’s a knock on the door and Emil comes in. He doesn’t say anything; he just hugs me, which is a surprise given how I treated him. But when he starts crying I spit out the question I’ve been terrified to ask since being awake.
“Ma’s dead, isn’t she?”
Emil backs away, wiping his tears as he sits beside me on the bed. “No. I mean I don’t know.”
“Why don’t you know? What has everyone been doing while I’ve been asleep?”
Apparently a lot has been going on, including a visit from Congresswoman Sunstar and Senator Lu, but what I don’t hear is action. “So what, the Blood Casters haven’t put out any message like when they wanted the urn back?”
“They traded last time because I took the urn, and Luna needed to kill the ghosts for her Crowned Dreamer deadline. But this time . . .”
“This time what? I took what Luna wanted? Fine, I’ll post a video and offer myself up.”
“No!” Emil is staring, but he can’t stop me. “We don’t even know if Ma is alive!”
“But if she is, this may be the only way to get her back. I’m dead anyway, Emil.”
He shakes his head. “You already drank the Reaper’s Blood, Bright. It’s a done deal, like when Luna was trying to trade me off to Kirk for Gravesend because I didn’t have any more value to her. You don’t serve any purpose to her alive. She made that clear when she sent Stanton to assassinate you.”
“Then maybe she’ll get a kick out of seeing me die before her.”
Emil looks so beat, like he’s been awake enough for the both of us. His curls are growing, dirt is building up under his fingernails, and he smells like unwashed armpits. I’m about to ask him how he hasn’t managed to take a shower during all this sitting around he’s been doing when he looks at my wrapped-up arm. “How are you feeling?”
“Fantastic.”
“Bright, you don’t have to lie to me. I really wish we could see some therapists because I’ve been struggling too and—”
“We all are,” I interrupt. “We’re losing the war.”
“Right, I know. I wasn’t trying to make it about myself. I think we all could benefit from some professional help. More than Eva’s services, which really wasn’t fair to her.”
“I got a list of things that’s unfair too.”
He looks at me like he’s expecting me to go on.
Emil gets up. “I’m going to grab Dr. Salinas so she can replace your bandage. Do m
e a solid and treat her a little better than you have me and Ma.”
I let him go. I’m not trying to fight everyone, but everything is getting worse and worse and I don’t know how to bury my frustration and my fury. There are a lot of powers I wish I had, but reading thoughts could be really helpful so I can know for sure whether or not Emil has dark, ugly thoughts like I do. I can’t be the only one.
He returns with Dr. Salinas, who asks me to relax as she unwraps the bandage. It stings, like a Band-Aid ripping off multiple scabs. I’m speechless when I see how different and monstrous my arm looks. Dark yellow scales are scattered everywhere from my fingers to my forearm and all the exposed skin is a deep green. It’s like I’m turning into a basilisk.
