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I inch closer to Wyatt, wrapping my arms around his stomach and locking my fingers together. I lean into his back and can smell so many adventures on his jacket—fresh pine, wet grass, maybe even a couple flowers thrown in there; I wonder if one is Dayrose. He tells me to hold on tight, and I don’t think it’s necessary until Nox kicks off into the air. Then I hang on like I’m trying to merge into one being.

Flying on Nox is such an odd, freeing sensation, different from doing it by myself. I don’t have to try; I can kick back as we sail across the Sanctuary’s fields and put New Ember behind us. Wyatt confidently steers Nox over the roadway that we originally arrived on

by car, but now we’re seeing the tops of trees, and a dozen evergreen blazers chase after us.

“Hold on like your lives depend on it!” Wyatt shouts over the roaring winds.

Nox screeches as he jerks and shoots toward the moon, and I’m so nervous that I’m going to fall off and drag Wyatt down into the forest with me, but the obsidian adjusts, and we’re higher than I’ve ever been before. I take in the mountains below us, thinking they could make for a challenging hike even with my strong New Yorker legs that are primed for long walks, but I only ever want to be up in the air from here on out.

The moon and stars are still so damn out of reach, and I want Nox to take us even closer. It’s like Nox can sense my feelings and does the exact opposite. We dip like the world’s most intense roller coaster toward the glistening river. My fingers dig into Wyatt’s abs when it seems like we’re about to go underwater, and I have no idea if obsidians do well there like sky swimmers. Nox smoothly transitions into a glide, his belly skimming across the surface of the river and his massive wings splashing water back at us. Wyatt is laughing as I shiver against him, the crisp air even colder now that I’m drenched. A surge of joy rockets through me, and my cheeks hurt from smiling.

“Skybreaking, yeah?”

“Skybreaking,” I echo into his ear.

I wonder if he can sense the smile in my voice the way I do with his.

We’re back in the air, but we move like a gentle wave, up, down, up, down.

Wyatt spins and faces me, patting my knees with so much enthusiasm. I hold on to his legs though I can’t lie, it’s not strictly for balance.

“How you getting on with all of this?” Wyatt asks as he shakes some water out of his hair.

“Best night in a minute.” I fight back some serious shivers because I don’t want this to end, but my chattering teeth betray me. “And a little cold.”

Wyatt takes off his jacket and holds it up. I try to turn him down because I’m me and I can never accept help without feeling weird about it, but he’s thankfully him and works a little harder to help anyway. I slide into the first feathered sleeve, and I feel this rush of power, power that has nothing to do with stolen phoenix fire. It’s like I can change the world on good heart alone. The Halo Knight jacket has some weight to it, and I want one of my own.

“Thanks for coming along,” Wyatt says.

“You’re kidding, right? Thanks for these incredible views,” I say as I turn back to where the New Ember Sanctuary feels far off, like a star. “I don’t just mean the mountains and river. Your perspective too. It’s been a huge struggle reckoning with my history, and every day I feel like I’m moving deeper and deeper into a dark space. I straight-up haven’t wanted to live a few times, and I want to feel more grateful for this life that I shouldn’t have.”

“Of course you should have your life,” he says.

I look to the sky, so full of stars—you can’t catch a sight like this in the city. I imagine that each star belongs to those who have fallen in my life and beyond—Dad, Ma, Ness, Atlas, Gravesend, Bautista, Sera, the other Spell Walkers, every celestial who was murdered because of fear and hate, and every creature who was hunted for power.

“I didn’t grow up believing in souls reincarnating like you did, Wyatt. And since learning that I have past lives, I’ve been surrounded by death.” I hold out my hands, bracing myself for sharp pain as I conjure a fire-orb, but I’m okay because of the Dayrose salve. “You’ve given me hope that I can do incredible things with these powers. That I can make sure the gray sun whose blood is in mine didn’t die in vain.”

“You have a bright future ahead of you, love.”

“I’m going to make sure of that. I died with Bautista—I once died as him. I never want to feel that death again, but I do want what he had in his life. Even in the middle of all the chaos, Bautista still found time for a love that was so epic he sacrificed himself for it.” I think about when Ness returned for me back at Nova, how invincible I felt. And how much I wish I had made that clear to him right then and there. “It’s so hard to be open to happiness when people are missing and dying, but I’m never going to get anywhere in life if I’m waiting for everything to be perfect. If all goes according to plan, this might be my last life, and I got to start somewhere—and with someone.”

The fire-orb is making his eyes glow until I crush it between my palms because I don’t want to burn him. I can still make out his lips in the darkness, and he’s paying attention to mine too. The wind whistles as Nox continues to take us over mountains and rivers, though I’m only focused on Wyatt.

My heart is hammering as he reaches for my hair and pulls me to him, our faces so close that I suck in my breath. His dimpled smile is the key that unlocks me, that frees me like riding a phoenix on a beautiful night. I kiss him, our lips pressed together, and I’m running so hot I might explode.

I didn’t expect any of this when I walked into the library tonight—flying on Nox, kissing Wyatt, welcoming happiness. It would be so easy to be miserable and alone during a war even though I want more, but this is the first of hopefully many winning moments while I’m still fighting the bigger battle. And the life Wyatt is offering me as a Halo Knight is one I hope to live.

His hand slides under the jacket, and I tense as he grabs my side, almost breaking the kiss. I’m not used to this. I’m not opposed either. I run my hands down his pecs, fighting away all these ugly thoughts that someone like Wyatt only wants me because I happen to be gay and around. Then I remember how Ness asked me to only be with someone who thinks I’m beautiful because of who I am. I think that was true for Ness, and I think it’s true for Wyatt too.

I lean away from the kiss though our foreheads remain pressed together and we’re still holding on to each other. His smile gets another quick kiss out of me.

“You get better and better, love.”

“So do you, Skybreaker.”

When I manage to look away from his blue eyes, I notice that we’re back at the Sanctuary. I could have stayed out all night like this, but that’s not fair to Nox. Wyatt dismounts first, and he holds my hand as I hop off. Completely unnecessary and fully welcomed. I don’t let go of him as I turn to pet Nox, thanking him for this incredible ride.

We enter the library, and I realize I’m not ready to go back to my room.

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