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I have to get my head around this and navigate my next move. Elliot’s advice keeps going around and around in my head on repeat. Was he right?
Can I imagine myself touching another woman like I want to touch Eliza?
I scroll through my phone until I get to the name Stephanie. My thumb hovers over her name.
What would I even say to her?
Hi, I don’t really want anything to do with you but you’re smoking hot and I know you could turn me on and get the job done. Do you mind if I use your body to find out if I like sex with a woman?
I close my eyes in disgust and throw my phone onto the floor.
Fuck this.
I stare at the wall for a while longer. I wonder what my girl is doing now. This is our second night apart in two years.
I blow out a deep breath and throw the tennis ball at the wall. It bounces and flies back into my hands.
I do it again.
It’s going to be a long night.
8
Eliza
It’s just gone 5:00 p.m., and I pack up my desk. My phone beeps with a text.
It’s from Samuel.
Hope you’re feeling better
God, I’m such a bitch.
I’ve been so upset about Nathan and my fight on Tuesday that I didn’t have the energy to go out with Samuel. I lied and told him I was sick. Guilt fills me.
I’m a bad person.
I text back.
You’re so thoughtful.
Thank you, I am. I’ll call you later.
I put my phone into my bag. I’m supposed to be going to Vermont for the weekend for Nathan’s father’s birthday tomorrow night, and I h
aven’t even heard from him.
I shake my head in disgust. What is going on? Maybe I should just call him.
He’s obviously having some kind of meltdown.
No, be strong. He said he needed space. Give it to him.
I hear a knock at the door, and I look up to see Henry there. “Eliza.”
“Oh, hi, Henry.” I smile.
“I just wanted to say how happy I am that you joined us. The girls all love you and are telling me how lovely you are. It’s all working out wonderfully.”
