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She scowls at me. “What would you say if this was Jeremy in that photo? How would you be acting?”
I give her a sad smile. “Exactly like you are, thank you for being a great friend.” She nods and flops on the lounge chair and blows out a deep breath.
“Fine but if he thinks he’s having any of this McDonald’s he can fuck off.” I laugh again. I love Bridget. She has such an articulate way with words.
“I fucking adore you, precious,” he whispers as he withdraws from my body and rolls onto the mattress next to me. His open lips linger on mine. I lay panting, still trying to catch my breath. Honestly, he couldn’t get any hotter. Sex between us is incredible. The sheen of perspiration thickly covers us and I can still feel his heart beating heavily against my body. I smile against his neck. He hasn’t said that to me for a while and I have to say I’ve missed hearing it. “What’s amusing?” he smirks.
“You are.” I smile.
He frowns. “Why am I amusing?” I bend up and kiss him with an open mouth, my lips holding onto him. “Of all the things you say to me, that means the most.”
He frowns. “The most, of all the things I say to you. I fucking adore you means the most?” I smile and bend and kiss his shoulder and rub my cheek on his chest.
“It sounds crazy I know, but it was my olive branch. When we first started hooking up you always said it to me. It made me hope that somewhere deep inside on some level, you still loved me.” My eyes tear up.
“Baby,” he whispers as he kisses my forehead. “How could you ever think anything else? I will always love you. I’ve loved you since I was a nineteen–year–old boy. When I saw you at the wedding I started freaking out because I knew instantly that I wasn’t strong enough to stay away from you.” I get a really large lump in my throat and my eyes tear up again.
“Josh you nearly broke us. How could you throw me away so easily?” He closes his eyes as if in pain.
“Presh, I love you. Of course I wanted to put your needs before mine. I saw you with those little girls on the weekend and I know you will be a great mother. I couldn’t take that from you. You did the same for me, remember, when you were seventeen.” I roll onto my back and tears run into my ears.
“Josh, I put myself through self–inflicted torture. You have no idea the amount of remorse and guilt I felt. It nearly killed me and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.” He lies silent as he stares at the ceiling.
“Do you want to know what I did after I kicked that girl out of my car around the corner the other night?” I nod and roll onto my side to face him.
“I ran on the treadmill for six hours, had a fight with Cameron and crashed my car.”
I frown. “Why in the hell did you have a fight with Cameron?”
“Because he told me I was a gutless prick and deep down I knew he was right and then he told me you were too good for me anyway. I just snapped. I couldn’t help myself. We got into an argument and he told me to marry a stripper, seeing that’s all I deserve. I disgust myself.” He puts the back of his forearm over his eyes. I put my hands over my face.
“Josh,” I whisper. “Have you seen him since?”
“Yeah, we made friends late last night, but the guilt I felt knowing you would be heartbroken this morning had me going insane and, he’s right, I don’t deserve you. Everything he said was completely true.” He goes silent. ”Tash, please don’t let me mess this up. I can’t explain it but it fucks with my head big–time knowing I depend on one person so much for my happiness.”
I smile a sad smile. “I feel it too, Josh, and, you’re right, I depend on you for my happiness. So man up and make me happy, dickhead.” He growls and rolls me onto my back as he holds my hands above my head.
“You just got yourself a ticket,” he smiles into my neck.
I giggle. “To where?” I ask too sweetly.
“Pound town,” he smirks as he bites me hard.
Chapter 25
Cabin crew cross check. We are seated in Josh’s private plane bound for LAX Airport and I have to say I’m pretty damn nervous. Cameron and Adrian have come along for the ride, Cameron to check out the hospital and living arrangements and Adrian to catch up with his boyfriend. After not seeing him for eleven weeks he jumped at the chance to go home for a week. They are sitting together three seats behind us. Max and Ben and, what’s his name, Adrian’s bodyguard, are seated up the back together already playing cards, obviously used to extensive travel. To think it’s only been nine weeks since I started seeing Josh again and already I can’t imagine my life without him. I blow out a breath and close my eyes. I hate flying. I’ve watched way too many episodes of Air Crash Investigation to sit back and enjoy the ride, who knows what the hell is going on in that damn cockpit? Half the time I don’t think the pilots do. One thing I do know for sure is that they don’t tell the passengers anything is wrong until you have approximately five seconds to live.
I frown at Josh. “Who is this pilot again?” I ask.
He smiles and shakes his head as he closes his eyes and leans his head back on the rest.
“Will you chill? Do you think I would let a pilot who can’t fly fly the freaking plane?”
I frown as I take his hand for comfort. “Did you check his references?”
Josh opens his eyes and frowns at me. “Is that a joke?”
“Josh, this is serious. We have precious cargo on board you know? Namely me.” I bat my eyelids to accentuate the point.
