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Lauren relented and stepped back to let him inside. She took the herbs he offered and carried them into the kitchen to put the cuttings in some fresh water. They would be good for a chimichurri or pesto sauce later. Even then, a chef’s brain never fully switched off.
With that settled, she ushered Sutton into her small living room and the comfortable set of chairs she had there. They sat on opposite ends of the loveseat, only inches apart, but it felt like miles to Lauren. She wanted to scoot in and find sweet solace in the nook of his arm. But she stayed in place.
“Despite what you might think, Sutton, I’m not good enough for you. I’m not the right kind of girl for your family and friends. I don’t fit in with the club crowd and despite your best efforts, my trip there only reinforced what I already knew. What we’ve had is fun, but it isn’t built to last.”
Sutton’s eyes narrowed as she spoke, his jaw flexing with suppressed irritation. “Where do you get off deciding that you’re not good enough for me? Shouldn’t I be the one to make that decision?”
“You didn’t have to make it. Good old Kaylah Anderson took care of the dirty work for you. One quick conversation and the fantasy was over, with my feet instantly back on the ground. I know I’m fighting an uphill battle I’m destined to lose, now.”
Sutton frowned and then his eyes met hers. “Are you talking about the brunette at the club? The one sitting near our table in a blue blouse?”
“That was her.” Of course, he would notice a woman like Kaylah. Everyone noticed her, with her golden hair, big blue eyes and huge chest. And if they didn’t, Kaylah was quick to make them notice her.
“What does she...?” His voice trailed off and his eyes widened as he seemed to piece it all together. “Wait. Was that woman the same Kaylah you mentioned from the homecoming dance at the club?”
She nodded. “It was a quick discussion, but one I needed to hear. I’d let things go too far between us. Overreached, just like with Jesse. I was just going to get hurt.”
“And what about me getting hurt? I was already feeling down, but then you ran out on me without a word and refused to return my calls. It hurt me that you would pull away without even trying to talk to me.”
Lauren scoffed. “You’re Sutton Wingate. You’ll have some buxom, poised socialite on your arm in no time and you’ll forget all about me and how hurt you are.”
“Forget about you?” He sounded incredulous. “I can’t forget about you, Lauren. Believe me, I’ve tried. Those days after the masquerade party, I couldn’t get you out of my mind. You haunted my dreams.”
“That girl wasn’t me. She was glamorous and elegant and all the things I’m not. That night was a fluke and you fell for nothing more than some fancy window dressing courtesy of the Cinderella Sweepstakes. Take away the masks and the makeup and all you have left is me.”
“Take all that away and all that’s left is a smart, talented, caring, sexy woman who means more to me than anyone else. You talk about yourself as though I could ever be disappointed in who you are or how you look. I fell for you without even having seen your face. And once the mask was gone, things only got better. The real woman is so much more amazing than the mystery could ever be. And when I thought I’d driven you away by the mess my life had become, I wanted to kick myself.”
“Driven away?” Lauren asked. “What do you mean?”
Sutton sighed. “When we went to the club that day, the laughter on the other side of the room was all I could hear or think about. The others joking about my family’s misfortune and how we’re all just criminals doomed to wind up in jail... It taunted me from almost the moment we stepped inside. I knew that going to the club was a mistake then, but it was important for me to keep it together and help you get over your fears—” regret tightened the corners of his mouth “—That’s why I had to take a minute away. I was embarrassed by the talk, but didn’t want you, or them, to know it. When you vanished, I thought maybe you’d heard enough and decided I wasn’t worth the trouble. You would’ve been right if you had. Because I think you deserve better than a mess like me.”
* * *
Lauren’s mouth dropped open, her expression one of utter disbelief. “How could you believe you’re not worth the trouble? You’re an incredible man. An innocent man. And seeing you through these rough times is absolutely worth it.”
He was relieved that she thought so, but he still felt the need to explain himself. “And when I came here today, you were right about me constantly trying to fix things. I have probably made you feel worse about yourself with my misplaced drive to succeed. You don’t need fixing and I never meant to imply that you did.”
“Sutton, I—”
He held up a hand. “No, please let me finish. This needs to be said.” Swallowing hard, he continued. “I realize now that your business is yours to run however you want to. If you want food trucks or a restaurant or a hot dog stand, that’s your choice and I’m happy to stand by your side whatever you want to do. The truth is that I wasn’t pushing you because you weren’t good enough. I was pushing you because I felt useless. I’ve had all this power and control from the moment my brother and I took over the business from my father when he got sick. And in an instant, the bottom fell out on us all and it was stripped away.
“I had everything and suddenly, I had nothing. Choosing which coffee to make in the morning was as close as I got to making an important decision. Then I found that helping with your business made me feel useful again. I was able to help you build and grow and achieve goals that you may not have even had, but I couldn’t stop myself. I’m sorry for turning your life into a project.”
Lauren moved closer to him on the couch and reached out to place her hand over his. “Don’t apologize. You got me to dream bigger than I ever would have on my own. Because of you and your help, I’m opening my dream restaurant. Without you, Sutton, it would’ve taken me years to work up the nerve to even try. You refused to let me stand behind imaginary barriers and pushed me to be my best self—” she released a ragged breath “—Yes, I worried that you were pushing me so I was good enough for some standard society had set, but I went along with it because I wanted to be worthy of someday being a Wingate, and—”
“Wait,” Sutton interrupted. His heart stuttered at the words she’d just said. “Did you just say you wanted to be a...a Wingate?”
Lauren’s cheeks flushed red and her lips pressed tightly together as she tried to suppress her embarrassment. She’d obviously said more than she intended to. “I didn’t mean anytime soon, obviously. There are other factors at play, of course. And we’ve just started, really uh...”
“I love you, Lauren.”
It was the first time he’d said those words aloud to anyone aside from his close family, and even they were not a particularly touchy-feely group. He’d certainly never even come close to saying it to a woman before. The phrase felt amazing on his lips so he said it again. “I love you.”
“I heard you the first time,” she said with wide eyes. “I just thought perhaps I was imagining it.”
Sutton leaned in and took her hand into his own. “You’re not imagining anything. I love you. And I love you just as you are. I don’t care if you’re wearing fancy gowns, sweatpants or your chef’s whites. You are perfect and I’ll never try to change who you are.”
Lauren sat silent and still as he spoke. After a moment without a response, he reached out to caress her cheek. “Lauren?”
