AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Rest, Wadsworth. I’ll return again soon.”
I pressed my lips together, not trusting my voice to conceal my hurt. I watched Thomas gather his hat and overcoat and hurry from the room, as if the sight of me now disturbed him. I tried not to take it personally, though a few tears managed to sneak past the dam I’d erected. It seemed Thomas Cresswell was disappearing from my life along with the carnival.
Another presence in the room stirred me from sleep. I rubbed at my eyes, though I didn’t bother trying to sit up. “Thomas?”
“No, my love. I’m the much-handsomer one. I blame the loss of blood for that slip.”
Despite the amount of pain I was in, I grinned. “Thomas said you’d left with Houdini already.”
“Yes, well, I made it halfway down the docks and figured you’d go mad with want.” Mephistopheles tentatively clasped my hands in his. They were rough and calloused in places, a testament to how often he worked with them. He ran his thumb over my knuckles, the movement calming. “I didn’t want you missing me so much that it affected your recovery.”
I shook my head. “Always such a charmer.” I made to lean over the side of the bed and winced. “Open that drawer, would you?”
“There’s not a snake inside, waiting to sink its fangs into me, is there?”
I rolled my eyes. “Fine. I wouldn’t mind hanging on to your signet. The rubies would fetch a decent amount.”
I’d never witnessed Mephistopheles move quite so fast, not even while performing his fancy tricks. He held the ring up, eyes misting before he blinked it away. “Thank you.”
“How else will people blackmail you? Couldn’t have you running off without it.”
“Indeed.” He smiled. “Promise you’ll miss me just a little?”
“I might think of you one cold, dreary December, many, many years from now.”
“And?” he prompted, expression hopeful.
“And wonder if you bathe in your mask.”
His chuckle was dark and deep. “No need to wonder, my dear. I’m more than willing to show you firsthand. Shall we go to my chamber or yours?” He eyed my bandages. “Perhaps we ought to delay our tryst. I wouldn’t want you bleeding all over this suit. It’s bad for business.”
“I am going to miss you,” I said, because it was the truth. Something I hadn’t been acquainted with in a good, long while. Sleight of hand had been interesting to learn, but I was no good at playing that role long term. I wanted to offer nothing but honesty in the future. Pretending had not only confused me, but nearly hurt Thomas irrevocably.
“I know. It’s my cross to bear that I am so incredibly irresistible.” Amusement left his eyes, replaced by something more uncertain. “Tell me… did I ever truly stand a chance at winning your hand? Or was everything between us a lie? The dancing, the laughter… surely it wasn’t all an act.”
I stared into his dark gaze, pulse picking up as I imagined a different sort of future. One that still included science and freedom. Passion and theatrics. In that future I could be happy, more than happy. We’d use science to build impossible machines and magic, dazzling crowds and earning praise. I could travel the world and never settle into a role society deemed appropriate. Mephistopheles would make a wonderful husband—never chaining me up unless it was for the stage. I could be very content in that future. I would be more free than the acrobats soaring from one trapeze to the next.
But my heart and soul would always belong to another more fully. Thomas and I were partners in every way. And while imagining life without the magic and easy smiles of Mephistopheles was a little sad, thinking of a world without Thomas Cresswell was unbearable. I could no more walk away from him than I could abandon my heart and still live.
I leaned over and pressed my lips to Mephistopheles’s cheek. “In another world, or another life, I think we could have done amazing things together. You’re going to make someone very happy one day—but that person isn’t me. I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry, too.” I watched the column of his throat bob and squeezed his hand as tightly as I could manage. He held me a moment more, then stood. “I’ll work on a bit of engineering genius and name it after you, my lost love.”
I couldn’t stop myself from laughing, full and loud. “Goodbye, Mephistopheles.”
“It’s Ayden, please.” He moved to the door and paused. “Until we meet again.”
Thomas stood rigidly beside me, gloved hands gripping the frosted railing as we watched passengers disembark. They would all certainly have stories to tell about the ill-fated ship. Not even Houdini would escape from the scandal, though I was certain he would turn out fine in the end. A group of policemen made their way through the crowd, heading into the brig to collect the criminal the papers were calling the Bavarian Ripper. It wouldn’t be long now. My breath caught, and I had the sudden urge to hold my center. I did not want to say goodbye. I dreaded it.
“I’ll be with you again soon enough, Wadsworth. You won’t even know I’m gone.”
I stared at his profile, heart thudding dully. He hadn’t looked me squarely in the face since I’d taken the knife. I knew my sleight-of-word act had worked a bit too well, and I deserved his anger, but this was too cold to bear. “That’s it? That’s all you have to say?”
“The fact remains I am needed here, in New York, as your uncle’s representative.” He took a deep breath, eyes fixed on the people still exiting the ship. I wanted to clutch his overcoat, shake him until he was forced to look at me. But I kept one hand at my side and the other firmly on my borrowed cane. He had always granted me the freedom of choice. I would not steal his from him. If he wanted to stay here, I would not selfishly beg. “I will join you as soon as I can.”
I ignored the tear rolling down my cheek. I did not wish to part like this—with him as cold and distant as the shores of England. We had been through far too much. Though perhaps it wasn’t the act I’d put on—it was possible he couldn’t bear to see me after I’d been injured.
Maybe my broken leg was a reminder of how close we’d both come to losing our lives. I may have realized what I was willing to give up, but that didn’t mean he’d come to the same conclusion.
