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“It’s over, sunshine.” River tugged her across the bed and held her close to his chest. “I’ll sleep better at night knowing they busted them, that’s for damn sure.”
“I guess I can go home now, considering I don’t have to worry about some creep calling.”
“No,” River bit out.
Jeanette’s eyes widened, surprised by the finality of that single word, as well as the vehemence behind it. “What do you mean, no?”
“There is no need for you to leave here,” he said, his arms tightening around her. “You can stay. With me.”
Jeanette counted to ten, hoping to calm her racing heartbeat. “What are you suggesting exactly?” she asked, scared to hear his answer. Scared all the way to the bone.
River pulled back and stared down at her for several long seconds; then he cursed loud enough that Jeanette was sure everyone in the building heard every blistering word.
She pushed out of his arms. “Don’t curse at me, River Jennings.”
He shoved out of bed and began pacing the room. “Damn it, I’m sorry. I was taken by surprise when you said you were leaving. Look, just because they caught the guy, that doesn’t mean I want you to leave. I want you here, Jeanette, with me.”
Jeanette’s face softened. This would be a lot easier if she hadn’t fallen head over heels in love with the gorgeous man.
She stood up and went to him, wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her face against the solid wall of his chest. River took hold of her head with both hands and placed several small kisses on her cheeks, her forehead, then finally her mouth. The taste of him seared her insides. But she wouldn’t let him distract her with sex. She couldn’t. Things needed to be said.
“I want to stay, River, I really do. But for what? For more sex? I need more than that in a relationship. I need a commitment. Is that so bad?”
He released her and stepped away, his face shutting down so fast he looked like a complete stranger to her. “I see no reason to change things. The past three weeks were pretty awesome, right?” When she nodded, he continued, “We’ve always been great friends. The sex is pretty freaking awesome. And I can help you with expenses. College tuition, that sort of thing. You won’t have to do it all on your own anymore.”
Jeanette froze, unable to comprehend his words. “Wait, did you just offer to pay for my bills? All so you won’t have to lose your bedmate?”
His lips thinned. “What’s the problem?”
Shattered. With a few well-chosen words, River had managed to shatter her heart. “I can’t believe you just said that to me. You’re a fool, River Jennings.” Jeanette turned, ready to run, but he wasn’t quite through destroying her.
“I warned you, Jeanette. I’m damaged. I’ll always be a fucking mess. But you wanted this. No one forced you, damn it.”
She swiveled on her heels, her eyes going wide at his quiet remark. “You’re right. So, I guess I only have myself to blame for thinking that maybe, just maybe you could actually love me.”
He seemed to be pushing her away, as if by not agreeing to live with him, he was letting her go altogether. She hadn’t expected that. She’d thought he would fight the issue a little harder. River wasn’t the type to give up without a fight. Unless, of course, he really didn’t want her. That was when the truth struck her like a fist to the gut. He’d been curious about her. He’d admitted to being attracted to her. Now that he’d satisfied that curiosity, he wanted to keep her like a paid woman. He wanted her to stay, but only on his terms. Oh God, she was about to lose it.
Not in front of him. Please, let me escape first.
Jeanette headed toward the bathroom, intent on getting dressed and leaving before she fell apart completely.
Only River wanted to twist the knife into her heart a little more. She should have known. After all, River Jennings never did anything half-assed.
Just as her hand grasped the doorknob, she heard him say, “You love me. I know you do. Don’t deny it, Jeanette.”
She ached to hurl a few insults at him. To slap him for doing this to her, to them. But she knew if she started down that road, things would only get uglier and uglier, and she wouldn’t stop until she was empty. Moreover, she’d regret it later.
So instead, she turned around and went to him. She kissed him on the cheek and said, “I do love you. More than you’ll ever know. And I’m not giving up on you either. I have faith in us, River. I’m just sorry that you don’t.”
As Jeanette left the room, tears streaming down her face, she heard him call her name. No way could she look back. She’d cave if she did. She went into the bathroom and closed the door, then got dressed. Somewhat composed, she came back out and noticed River wasn’t anywhere in sight. The silence sliced through her. It hurt to know he wasn’t there, waiting to fight for her. To fight for them.
She reached her car, but it took three tries before she managed to open the door. Once inside, she dropped her forehead against the cold steering wheel and let go.
She’d never cried so hard in her life. Well, maybe when her mom and dad had died. She’d loved them so much, and she’d never thought anything could hurt as bad as that. This felt a little like that awful day. As if a vital part of her had just been taken away by the cruel hand of fate. But she’d been serious when she told River she wasn’t giving up. In her heart, she knew he loved her. His brain just hadn’t gotten the message. She could wait for him, she told herself, for a little while longer. And if he still didn’t come around, then she’d kidnap him. To hell with playing nice.
Jeanette had no idea how long she’d sat there in the parking lot of River’s apartment building. Minutes, maybe longer. When she finally raised her head and started the engine, she looked in her rearview mirror and saw River’s large form in the bedroom window. His arms were crossed over his chest, and he looked as if he were ready to commit murder.
Jeanette pried her eyes away from the mirror and put the car in gear. As she pulled away, she thought of what he’d said. He was damaged. Thanks to the awful foster home he’d been placed in when he was a kid, maybe that was true, but damaged things could be fixed. With a little patience and a lot of love. And Jeanette had a heaping helping of both.
