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“You hide,” she simply stated. “You still think like that little Catholic girl your mother raised. It’s not a sin to look attractive, Lydia, despite what your mother used to harp about.”

Lydia wanted to rail at Roni, but considering she was dead-on accurate, it would be a waste of time. Her mother had wielded her rosary like a whip. She’d tried to beat it into her that ladies should be seen and not heard, to honor thy mother and father, obey thy husband. Lydia had always felt like a huge disappointment because she’d never quite measured up. After her parents’ divorce, Lydia had gone to live with her dad, and she’d felt like an even bigger disappointment. It didn’t seem to matter that her mom had never really wanted her. After her father had died from a heart attack, Lydia had never heard from her mother again.

“Don’t,” Roni warned, as if reading her thoughts. “I’m sorry I brought it up. But I do wish you’d loosen up a little. It’s okay to let loose, honey.”

Their food arrived and Lydia just shook her head. “I should be eating lighter. I always eat when I’m upset, which seems to happen a lot lately.”

“We all eat when we’re upset. Besides, your metabolism doesn’t seem fazed.”

They both went silent as they ate; the waiter came back three times to ask Roni if she needed anything. Lydia didn’t even bother to point out that she’d run out of diet pop two visits ago.

As she finished off the second enchilada an image of her mother binging on chips and cookies sprang to mind. Lydia dropped her fork. It hit the side of the plate with a clang and fell to the floor. She didn’t bother to pick it up, she was too numb to move. “Oh, God, I’ve turned into my mom.”

Roni choked on her pop. Several seconds later, she squeaked out, “You’ve done what?”

“Look at me, Roni, really look. My mother used to eat when she was upset. She used to dress in clothes every bit as conservative as mine, and do you know the last time I had sex?”

“Uh, no,” she said, a note of concern in her voice.

“It was with that dork, Philippe. He was so lame I couldn’t wait to get him out of my apartment. How pathetic is that?”

“That guy really was a dork. I hated that nasally laugh, and the way he used to go on and on about himself made me want to hit him.”

“See what I mean?” Lydia’s voice rose a notch as her hysteria grew. “Maybe half the reason I’m so stressed at work is because my personal life has gone down the toilet. I’m a younger version of my bible-thumping mom.”

Roni rolled her eyes and reached across the table to grab her hand. “That’s a load of crap and you know it. You are not your mother. Maybe you need to loosen up a little, but that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you, Lydia.”

“But what if—”

“No what ifs. I’m a psychologist remember? I say there isn’t a damn thing wrong with you.”

“You’re my friend; you have to tell me that,” Lydia bit out.

“You’re letting that boss of yours make you crazy. Just chill, I have a plan.”

Lydia sighed in relief and sat back. “Thank God. I really need a plan right now.”

Roni bit her lip, as if unsure how to proceed. Lydia had never seen Roni unsure. It was more than a little disconcerting. “Do you remember me telling you about that club I go to sometimes called Kinks?”

“Yeah, but what does a fitness club have to with anything?”

Roni blushed. Right there in the middle of Alejandro’s restaurant, Roni Smart actually turned red. If Lydia hadn’t seen it she never would have believed it was possible for Roni to feel embarrassment. Suddenly Lydia wasn’t so sure she wanted to hear any more of Roni’s plan.

“It’s not a fitness club.”

Confused, Lydia asked, “What is it then?”

“It’s a BDSM club.”

The acronym meant nothing to her. “Huh?”

“Bondage and submission.” Lydia was still confused so Roni explained further. “You know, masters and submissives, whips and masks.”

Roni was into kinky sex games? How could she not have known about that? They’d been closer than friends for years. Hell, they were practically sisters. Roni was watching her, worry pulling at her brow. Lydia wasn’t sure what to say. “Oh, uh. Wow.”

“It’s not so strange,” Roni grumbled. “Don’t look so horrified, damn it.”

“I didn’t say it was strange. Just…shocking. I never knew you liked that sort of thing.”

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