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He ran his fingers over her creamy cheek, his chest tightening with feelings he didn’t dare examine. He didn’t answer immediately. “Never good.”
She shook her head. “Just to be clear. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. You dictated from the very first that you weren’t my hero and we had no future.” Her fingernails dug into the flesh of his neck. “You wrote this ending yourself.”
His eyes grew wide. “I suppose I did. But you have to understand, everything in my life before this has taught me how this will go.”
“Tell me,” she said and then slid her fingers into his hair. “Tell me about what’s happened to you that you can’t trust in your own future.”
Chris held his breath. Did he dare? If he told her, wouldn’t she just know what was ugly and unlovable about him?
She stood on tiptoe and placed a soft kiss at the base of his neck. “I can’t be your hero. But I can give this to you. A chance to share your pain. I’ll help you if you let me.”
He fisted his hands in the silky fabric of her night rail, noting how tiny her waist was, even without her corset. “I was teased as a child.”
She leaned back, her brow crinkled. “You?”
“Me.” He squeezed his eyes shut.
“But Chris. You’re strong, athletic, unapologetically courageous.”
“All things I developed to defend myself,” he answered honestly, noting the confusion clouding her eyes.
“Defend from what?”
He drew in a breath. “I…I stutter sometimes. As a child, I did so a great deal.” It had become a secret in his adult life. One he always tried to hide and never admitted to. He remained quiet, especially when nervous to ensure that his speech impediment didn’t rear its ugly head. “Other children would tease me terribly and I had to fight in order to—”
She kissed him then. Pulling his head down to meet hers, her lips crashed onto his, long and hard, it was a full-on kiss that filled him not only with passion but with an emotion he couldn’t name. Rather than pushing him away, she’d learned his secret and drawn him closer.
He crushed her to his chest, holding her so tight, he thought he might never let her go. He didn’t want to and the more he tried to remember why he’d have to leave eventually, he couldn’t recall. She’d accepted his biggest flaw and had comforted him rather than judged.
At this rate, he might never let her go. Then he squeezed his eyes shut. He had to leave. He was a fighter, a bull. And she was a delicate little fl
ower that he’d trample if he weren’t careful. He’d seen it play out before with his mother and his father.
As he’d said, he knew how this story ended.
* * *
Bianca held Chris tight, her heart squeezing. Hurt practically radiated off this strong man, and she tried to wrap herself completely around him, to cushion that pain.
He stiffened, backing up a bit. “So you see why we can’t be together.”
Her eyebrows furrowed. Not one moment before they’d been completely joined. And now he pulled away, putting distance—physical and emotional—between them again. “No. Actually. I don’t see at all.”
He gave his head a shake as he took a step back. “Bianca.” Something in the way he said her name rang with warning. Perhaps it was the way his voice dropped low. Or maybe it was the frown that graced his lips or the fact that he kept sliding away from her. “You should find a good man with a nice family and no obvious deficiencies. He’ll make you happy in ways I never could.”
“Who?” she choked out, grabbing his hand as he tried to move further away. “Who is this man you speak of?”
“I don’t know,” he said, giving his hand a bit of a tug. “Some man who isn’t broken like me.”
She shook her head, letting his fingers go. “So you want me to find someone else?” Liar. The single words screamed in her mind. No man who truly cared for a woman sent her off to find another man. Her father would have never allowed another fellow anywhere near her mother.
“Yes,” he answered, his face tightening. “That’s exactly what I am saying.”
Her own breath caught. “Why are you here?”
“I…” He stopped, his fists clenching. “As I said. I know I should stay away. I know what’s best, but I can’t seem to.”
“Get out.” She spun away from him. “Leave.”
